Naruto:life is a Game
by RebukeX7
Summary: What if, after stealing the forbidden scroll, Naruto got Kage Bunshin on the first try.  What if he used rest of the time learning jutsus that make living life a game? Naruto/femkyuu/femsasu/harem CRACK WITH PLOT
1. Shit just got real

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto if I did killer be would be voiced by Samuel Jackson**

Prolouge: The forbidden Jutsus

(**AN: I apologize for grammar/spelling in advance for I am still new to this. Im also sorry if im usung dialoug wong but I refuse to use script style. Also YES this was inspired by Naruto:game of the year edition. READ IT)**

"All right!" yelled a very enthusiastic blonde as he looked at an identical blonde in front of him "I got **Kage Bunshin **down on my first try things are finally looking up for old Naruto."

"Hmm Mizuki still has an hour to arrive here so I guess I'll learn a few more Jutsus while I'm at it. " Murmured one very pleased Naruto after dispelling the clone who was being emo about not being summoned for anything fun.

"Now let's see this next jutsu….**Life is a Game no Jutsu? **There's a note attached to it maybe this will help me understand it…"

"_Hello fellow ninja I as the Fourth Hokage have one thing to request if you want to learn this jutsu...Please! For the love of fucking KAMI! DO NOT use this dam jutsu PLEASE! Come on just keep reading, __**Edo Tensei **__is a little farther ahead use that who wouldn't want their own personal zombie army? Come on… YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! _At the end of the note was a crudely drawn picture of the fourth Hokage that seemed to be colored in with crayon.

"I may not be smart, but I'm pretty sure zombie equals undead which equals ghost…. Soooo fuck that shit." Shuddered Naruto as he thought of the only thing that can manage to scare him…. Ghosts.

Hey Goku is scared of needles so don't judge him!

"Good thing this only has one handseal" our favorite blonde thought as he put his hands in the boar sign "**LIFE IS A GAME NO JUTSU!"**

Annnnnd nothing happened

"What the hell? Well that sucked… I still have 45 minutes so.. NEXT!" yelled the blonde as he continued reading the scroll.

"**Action Replay no Jutsu?**... sweet maybe I can control time that'd make me Hokage even faster!"

Naruto then began to notice another note not unlike the one before which, if someone were to ask him, still seemed too much for a non working jutsu.

"_If you are reading this just use your blood break the seal on the scroll to release the objects. This will be completely useless unless you used the previous jutsu, which you didn't right?...after all you would not disobey your Hokage right? _ Naruto began to sweat _"knowing my luck you probably did..damnit..if you are reading this Naruto you are a very bad boy! Listen to your father when he tells you not to do apocalyptic Jutsus!" _Naruto would have dropped the scroll right then and there if the whole experience didn't seem so unreal "_And if this isn't Naruto FUCK YOU!…you've killed us all… I can only hope that I die before your dumbass used that jutsu"_

After getting over his shock and preparing a lot of questions he will want answered when he next sees his pseudo-grandpa, Naruto unsealed the objects which appeared to be a crimson ring and an empty white book.

"_Now if you unsealed the object put the ring on your right middle finger and channel chakra into the book. The book will be a strategy guide for you to refer to in your future battles and will help you prepare for each fight that may happen in the future."_

"Sothis book can see into the future? That's pretty cool I guess but what about the ring?"

"_You're probably wondering about the ring now well after you put it on the ring will not disappear no matter what you do, it has now bonded to you for life. What the ring does is once you snap your fingers you will be able to "pause" reality and gain access to all of the "cheats" available to you. Cheats will give you the ability to do ANYTHING so have fun the rest you must figure out yourself. Goodluck!_

"Well I guess it is time to turn the scroll into Mizuki, but I still have a few minutes might aswell find out who I'm fighting first I bet it's Sasuke-teme" Naruto yelled excitedly as he opened the now orange book with his name on it.

_Naruto: chapter1:the unveiled secret._

_**Opponent**__:Mizuki_

_Stats: 500 HP 135Chakra_

_Skills: windmill Shuriken toss/Taunt_

_**Player support characters**__: Iruka_

_Stats: 500 hp 100 Chakra_

_Skills:Windmill Shuriken toss/Protect_

_**Player**__: Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze(Naruto rose an eyebrow at that. He is definitely getting answers DAMNIT)_

_stats: 200 HP 750 Chakra_

_Skills:__**Kage Bunshin**__/regeneration_

_Advise: it is advised to let Iruka fight until he uses protect, to save the player, which will immobilize him for the remainder of the battle allowing the player to spam clones and finish the battle._

Naruto blinked as he read the page "But that means Mizuki betrayed me, and what's this? Iruka gets immobilized trying to save me..No not this time" Naruto's eyes _shone_ with determination "I won't let Iruka get hurt because of me!" the blonde stated as he raised his right hand.

*SNAP*

Everything froze as the blonde was suddenly faced with a list of cheats for him to use. He began to cycle through them and picks the cheats he wants.

_Max Charm Check_

_Max strength Check_

_Max defense check_

_Max luck Check_

_Max Dexterity Check_

_Max intelligence Check_

_Max Speed Check_

_Hp 9999 Check_

_Infinite Chakra Check_

_All Naruto's jutsu unlocked Check(yes I mean ALL of his Jutsus and abilities)_

_Are these cheats ok? YES!_

_*SNAP*_

Naruto currently was bombarded with powers and knowledge and when it was done the only three words that would be able to accurately tell how he felt would be..

"OH HELLS YES!" the blonde roared just as Iruka entered the clearing

"Naruto how could you steal the forbidden scroll!"Iruka admonished

Naruto looked towards then above him at the tree branch Mizuki just landed on and smirked.

"Your ass is grass teme and I'M the mower-ttebayo"

**AN: well I'm still looking for a type of fic that I feel most comfortable writing I'm also looking for constructive criticism not flames that don't help so read and review. I am also going to remake my other fic because I'm going to fix some characters up and try to make the battle scenes more smooth so look forward to that.**

**~Rebukex7**


	2. Pwning noobs and Demons

**Disclaimer: if I owned Naruto ,Ultimate ninja storm 2 online would not suck so bad(damn spammers)**

**(again apologize for grammar/spelling)**

Chapter 2: Pwning Noobs and demons

"What are you talking about Naruto? What does Mizuki have to do with this?" asked a startled Iruka as he looked at his favorite student.

"Turns out Mizuki lied to me and was going to betray us by taking this scroll. He has another thing coming if he believes that shit though." Replied Naruto as he set a stony gaze upon Mizuki who just laughed at him

"Oh and what are you going to do about it demon brat?" Mizuki sneered as he saw Naruto's eyes widen "Yea that's right everyone hates you because you are the Kyuubi!"

"What?" Naruto asked in disbelief

"Bet you didn't know tha-"

"No you noob, I meant was that the best you could come up with? I mean it was kind of obvious if you look at everything I have been through "Came the monotone voice of Naruto as he stepped towards Mizuki and started forming a **Rasengan **in his right hand." Now as I said before…YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND IM THE MOTHA FUCKING MOWER **RASENGAN!" **Naruto yelled as he leaped at Mizuki who stared at him in horror

_-2000_

_**KO! NARUTO WINSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**_

"W-w-hat just happened" Iruka couldn't help but stutter at the large amount power behind the famous technique.

"Nothing just some grinding, guess I am too 1337 for him. Well I guess I'll see you next year sensei."Naruto told his teacher as he turned around and headed home.

"No Naruto I think you deserve this." Iruka said as he took off his headband and handed it to Naruto who looked at him shock

_**Naruto obtained Konoha leaf Head Band(key item)**_

"T-t-thank you" Naruto started as he began to cry

**~4 minutes later~**

"That shit NEVER happened okay Iruka id hate to have Konoha lose a good Chunin like yourself." Naruto told his sensei in complete seriouseness.

"Ok" Iruka could not help the sweat drop that appeared behind his head"now lets go take you to Hokage-sama

**(Listen I'm not going to do this scene with out it sounding like atleast 100 other ones from other fics so…. Im going to skip this shit. Naruto got his inheritance confirmed and learned that he **_**ISNT **_**the fox but that it was**_** SEALED **_**in him)**

**~Later that night at his appartment~**

"Hmm so this head band was a Key item? Well if something like this allowed me to continue the game I might as well get the rest"Naruto thought to himself

*snap*

_All key items? Check_

_*snap*_

"_Hmm HOLY SHYT THAT'S A BIG SCROLL!" _Naruto thought as he look at possibly the biggest scroll he has ever seen."But what does it do? Better check the guide."

_Key item: kyuubi's key can be obtained after fighting and defeating Akatsuki leader Pein it allows player to fight Kyuubi in order to gain its power. The fight can only be activate once Naruto has obtainined a state where he is free of darkness. Naruto must go to Kumo in order to free himself of hatred._

"Well fuck Kumo last I heard they were eye thieves and Naruto Uzukmaki-Nami_whatever _ does not join people who steal little girls eyes…and it's a long ass trip"Naruto muttered the last part under his breath "Soo its time to do what every ninja does best…CHEAT!"

*snap*

_No Darkness Naruto check!_

*snap*

"Ok time to activate the boss battle!" Naruto yelled before grabbing the scroll and blacking out.

**~In front of Kyuubi's cage~**

"Aww look the omnipotent Demon that fucked my life over his sleeping." Came the sarcastic remark of our hero." O well might as well check the guide for this fight so I know what I'm up against."

_Opponent: Kyuubi no Kitsune_

_Stats: 99.999 HP 99,999Chakra_

_Abilities:____Menacing ball, roar, firestream, claw swipe, being big as hell.._

_Support character(Naruto rose an eyebrow at this he's the only one in his brain right?) Kushina Uzumaki_

_Stats: 30,000 hp 60,000 chakra_

_Abilites:chakra chains_

_Advise for battle: fight Kyuubi in sage mode and wait for Kushina to use chains to trip it then finish it with a rasenshuriken_

"Well.. lets get started" Naruto thought to nobody as he enetered** Sage Mode** and walked up to cage while putting a flaming hand on his seal

"YO BUGS BUNNY WAKE THE FUCK UP!" not being one to appreciate being called a Bunny the _Almighty_ Kyuubi jumped and looked around for the insolent person who _DARED _to interfere with its sleep.

"**You dare awaken the mighty Kyuubi?...Why…" **Naruto could swear the fox almost cried a little. Naruto winced a little that must have been one good fucking nap.

"I came…"Naruto started as he opened the cage door' TO PWN SOME NOOBS!"

**~meanwhile in kumo~**

The hachibi winced inside its host someone just called the strongest being on the planet the _WORST_ thing ever. He could only pray the dumbass could live to tell him the story one day.

**~back in cage~**

" **YOU DARE CALL ME A NOOB? BETCH IVE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOR YEARS! DO YOU SEE MY STATS? AW HELLLLLLLLLL NO BRING IT BETCH"** the Kyuubi launched at its host in a blind fury as Naruto wondered if he fucked up.

"Shit!" Naruto yelled as he hit the dirt while the Kyuubi jumped over him. As he looked at the Kyuubi, who left itself open to a direct hit, he realized there was only one thing to do… filler moves.

"**OoDama Rasenshuriken!" **Naruto yelled as he threw the oversized move at the fox's underside

-1,000,000

**Flawless victory Naruto wins!**

**Platinum Trophy unlocked: The nine-tailed stunner**

**Hidden character(s) unlocked!: Minato and Kushina are now able to help you in battle. Welcome back to the world of the living you two heroes!**

**Abilities unlocked: Golden fox cloak**

"Now time to do something about this guy.. well I can't just let it die no matter what it caused me, it would be better if I got the full story of why it attacked." Naruto stated as he pulled out (key item) Sakura's Soldier pills and put some of the pills into the giant mouth of the fox.

**~2 minutes later~**

"**Mind telling me why you fed me that nasty ass shit?" **the utterly perplexed fox asked its jailer.

"Well I couldn't just let you die.. figured I would hear your story on why you attacked and take action depending on the answer." The blonde told the now dumbfounded fox.

"**You will listen to my story?.." **at the blondes nod she began

**~15 minutes later~**

"So you've been basically enslaved ever since you first met this Madara.." at her nod he continued. "Well that is just dumb what fucking noob tries to control demons instead of befriending them they are more reliable that way?..-sigh- noobs these days.."

Suddenly the fox began to cry finally someone understood after all these years! Kyuubi was then enveloped in a bright light as Naruto had to shield his eyes.

**By showing compassion to the Kyuubi Player:Naruto has unlocked support character FemKyuubi would character like to keep or change name?**

_Change_

**To what: Akane**

**Kyuubi's social link went up to 10/10 she will now**_** DIE FOR YOU**_ (can any1 guess where this is from ill give you a cookie if you can)

**Bonus skill Kyuubi summon**

Once that was over Naruto could only look at crying _naked _red head that was hugging on to him for dear life.

"ummm-' he was cut off by what the Kyuubi said to him next.

'**Thank you Naruto-sama ill serve you in **_**any **_**way for you have finally made the hate go away in my heart." **she said with a lecherous smirk and held him tighter. Suddenly something snapped in Naruto who wasn't sure if it was the years of being unloved or the hormones, but if one were to ask him later he would say the he regrets NOTHING!

**~hour and 30 minutes later~**

Naruto was suddenly awakened from the bed he shared with Akane in his mind by a scream as he looked up he saw a shell shocked red-head and a passed out blonde man whose face was in a pool of blood.

"Well.." Naruto started "You two are late…"

"That's my boy…" the still-downed blonde said before his wife kicked him in the kidney.

**An) well that's that and know for those of you that do not read the manga I did NOT make up the golden fox cloak It's a form Naruto has after getting the kyuubi's chakra but sadly this mode still has no name(way to go Kishi) so I made a name up thank you for the reviews and I would like to see more (hint hint) and for those who caught the persona reference good for you!**

**PS: also only Kyuubi's link will go straight to 10 like that no one else's will be **_**that**_**fast.**


	3. Team7: n00bs to pr0s

**Disclaimer: muaahahahahahha dunbass you thought I owned Naruto? Hahahah**

**(apologize for spelling grammar etc)**

**Chapter 3: Team 7:From n00b to pr0**

After a very awkward silence we fine our hero in the presence of something nobody can beat no matter how 1337 they are.

A pissed off mother.

While Naruto was sure that this person had to be his mother, given how she started kicking his ass yelling about not coming back to be a grandmother, he couldn't help but dislike the man that had to be his father because he was not helping his son out at all.

"Take it like a man son." Or "That's what you get for using the jutsu after I told you not to…bitch."

Yup one of these days he was gonna show that man why exactly this game is called Naruto you can believe that-ttebayo bitch.

But now he had to regain his Barings because his mom just threw him at a wall.

"Listen I can see why your mad but we don't have time for this because even though I unlocked you, according to the guide, I can't use you until after shippuuden begins so you have like 10 minutes before your time runs out and you fade away." Naruto told his parents as his mom finally stopped kicking his ass.

And he thought _HE_ was pro maybe there is a trophy for just lasting as long as he did?

There was one but sadly he couldn't hear the announcement over his screams of terror.

So now our young blonde hero is sitting on the bed that is the cause of his pain while trying to figure out what exactly to do for the next nine minutes as he began to contemplate a voice cut of his ponderings

"Well we might as well do what we were supposed to do I guess.." minato began" On the night of the kyu-"

"**Told him already you noob"** Akane said as she cut him off.

"Kicked your ass though." Minato retorted without missing a beat" Seems that's something that runs in the family eh?" Minato asked innocently as he walked over and high-fived his son.

Akane glared at Naruto who could only shrug.

"It was funny you gotta admit you kinda asked for that one" he said as he looked at his tenant with benefits.

"-sigh- well anyone wants some ramen before we leave for a few more years?"Kushina asked as she looked around at the other occupents of the room.

_**~ONE Unlimited Ramen cheat later~**_

We now find our blonde hero on the way to the academy for his team placements, but as soon as he walked into the room he had to deal with the one thing he hated more than the Kyuubi, pre-sex of course.

Trolls

"Hey Dobe what are you doing here you didn't graduate you loser." Naruto rolled his eyes at kiba and began to respond.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't realized you depend on your puppy so much that you can't even use common sense and look at the headband on my head..I obviously passed so sit down and shut the fuck up." Naruto finished his rant as all of the people who listened laughed at Kiba.

Naruto then began to keep walking until he spotted Hinata figuring he had to do this now rather than later he walked up and said to her in a voice only she could hear.

" I know you like me but.. it just won't work out we're two different people. You're rich I'm not, and I'm pro you're not.. trust me you should continue your training so that you won't die and maybe you will find that person who can really like you." And with that Naruto continued walking towards his seat next to Sasuke leaving behind a ninja who would be able to one day call herself a pro.

"_He's right I will change and just focus on being his friend and a strong kunoichi that will never be looked down upon again! After I kick his ass later for basically calling me a noob.. not cool Naruto-kun not cool." _Hinata thought to herself as she began planning out a training schedule.

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: Breaking the shell**

**Naruto has given up a chance with Hinata in order to make a stronger ninja out of her!**

**Support character unlocked: Badass Hinata (can be accessed at Chunin exams)**

**Hinata social link rank 2/10 she will aide you in battle when needed**

As Naruto took his seat he began to fall asleep

…Only to be woken up 3 minutes later by a pair of blonde and pink haired Noobs more accurately described as fangirls..Son of a bitch!

"Listen you two nobody cares who got here first because right now you two are in the tutorial of a grand game named:Naruto you to are no more than cannon fodder to me at the moment because the game hasn't even reached level one so shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down!" Naruto yelled at the girls as they sat down unable to argue against his glare.

"You can thank me later.' Naruto said as he glanced at Sasuke through the Corner of his eye, who smiled in appreciation.

"_Wait..was that a blush oh hellllllll no."_Narutothought in pure unadulterated fear (**before you Sasuke fans get pissed NO he is not gay all will be explained later so calm down and stop the flames I only bash the enemies) **"_He can't be that way were supposed to be secret homies …I'll look at the guide for this one."_

_Uchiha Sasuke: is the main antagonist of the game if and ONLY if the player cant unlock his alternate form before the chunin exams"_

'_Hmm true form? A hidden character perhaps, I'll have to be careful with this one."_ Naruto thought as he tried to figure out what to do about his new dilemma.

_**Sasuke Uchiha Social link rank 1/10**_

"_Interesting…"_

**~3 hours later ~**

We now see team 7 waiting for their Sensei who was supposed to be there 2 hours ago but before Naruto could revert to his old habits of pranking the fuck out of their future sensei ,a voice stopped him.

"My first opinion of you guys is that you're all noobs meet me on the roof." And with that he disappeared in a poof of smake leaving behind two confused teens and a pissed of blonde.

"HE did NOT just steal my thing.. O HELLLLL NO!" yelled our hero as he ran to the roof with his teammates right behind him.

~**On** **the roof~**

"Okay tell me your likes and dislikes." The Cyclops asked his students as he looked at his orange book.

"Why don't you show us how its done sensei?" the pinkette asked as she swore she heared her sensei mumble something that sounded like "noob".

"_Whats a noob?"_ this time she heard her inner self call her one too.

(skipping Kakashi's intro)

"Your turn blondie" he stated as he eye-smiled at his new student-to fail.

"The name is Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze yes _That_ Namikaze I know my heritage so stop sweating you one-eyed noob." Kakashi glared but kept quiet."I like Ramen-the stuffs like crack I swear-, Pro-girls, and pro-female ramen chefs-they make good for Npc's I can tell you that- My dislikes are Noobs, non-pros, non-1337's(10 minutes later) and you. My dream is to beat this game called life and maybe be Hokage for the bonus content."

"_Ok he has problems gonna beat_ _his ass for that noob comment though._" Kakashi thought before looking at his next student.

"Your turn pinky"

"I like learning, books and –glances at sasuke who almost threw up and blushes at him-" she began to giggle.

"Your dislikes?"

"Ino pig and Naruto Baka-"

" Like I give a_ fuck _your too noob for me" Naruto snorted.

"Baka! What does that even mean anyway?"

"Noob" That came from Sasuke who finished his introduction.

(Skipping Kakashi's explanation of the test)

Before his teammates could leave the roof Naruto had other plans

*SNAP*

_Team mates listen to you for a day check!_

_*SNAP*_

"OK heres the plan you two are too weak so were going to head to training ground 44 and grind and I will not take no for answer." The blonde stated to his teammates who couldn't help but nod.

"Ok lets head out!"

~**At the forest of Death~**

*SNAP*

_Exp x 256 Check_

_Teammates' have infinite Hp and Stamina for one day? Check_

_Ryou x 256 check_

_*SNAP*_

"Ok ill make pros out of you yet!" Naruto cheered as him and his team jumped into the forest.

**~8 hours later~**

"Ok I'll see you two tomorrow and don't forget to eat!" Naruto called out to his teammates who nodded.

"Well that went well" as Naruto started to walk away planning things to do with Akane later before said vixen stopped him.

"**Hey aren't you forgetting to get your rewards from leaving the forest?"**

'_How do I do that Akane-chan?"_

"**Just go to the save point at the entrance and select receive rewards."**

"_What save point?"_Naruto asked before spotting the flying blue ninja scroll in front of the entrance

"_Never mind" _He finished as he walked towards the Scroll.

_Receive spoils? Yes!_

**Ryou + 999,999,999**

**Experience + 999,999,999**

**Uchiha Sasuke is now lvl 99**

**Haruna Sakura is now lvl 99**

**Uchiha Sasuke Social link 9/10 he will Now respect you as a human being and lose superiority complex.**

**Haruno Sakura Social link 8/10 She now appreciates you and has become a REAL Kunoichi!**

"HOLY **FUCK."** Naruto and Akane Yelled at the same time."_I'm rich BITCHES!"_

"Ah hem well then ..you wanted to show me the new furniture in my mindscape I can't wait to break it in." Naruto told his tenant as she laughed.

Naruto would have to burn his imagined furniture later.

~**Training ground seven next morning~**

"Ok your goal is to get these bells from me by noon." Kakashi told his team while thinking about how fun it would be to pwn them.

That poor poor soul.

"And… begin!" he yelled before he saw his pink haired student launch herself into the sky.

"SHANNARO!" as he side-stepped the punch he could only watch in morbid fascination as it decimated the the training ground.

*_BOOM!_*

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" Kakashi yelled as he jumped back 70 meters.

"Tsunade's strength available to Sakura after reaching lvl 30" The blonde answered with a smirk as he pulled out the guide."

_Chapter 2 : Kakashi's test_

_Opponent Kakashi Hatake lvl 75_

_Stats 34,000 Hp 34,000 chakra_

_Abilities: Sharingan, Raikiri, 1000+ other Jutsus_

_Advise: there is no winning this battle just try to last for your part_

"Heh sorry guide but were going to win this one. "The blonde said before putting the book away (Where to Kakashi couldn't tell it just disappeared)and turning into his new **Golden Fox Cloak**

"What are you?" Kakashi yelled at Naruto

"A jinchurikki" Naruto answered before disappearing in a yellow flash causing Kakashi to have a look of utter disbelief as he suddenly felt like a noob watching the most 1337 support move in the game.

As Naruto punched Kakahi in the stomach he jumped out of the way so that Sasuke could put him in a genjutsu.

"**Tsukiyomi" **Sasuke whispered be for Kakashi was suddenly trapped in a world where he was forced to watch his entire porn collection Burn over and over again while getting repeatedly kicked in the balls by Tsunade at full force.__

Naruto walked up and grabbed the bells while Sakura tried to heal their sensei who was beginning to stir.

"Here are your bells guys."Naruto told his team while getting a grateful nod from both of them "When did you learn **Tsukiyomi **Sasuke?"

"I got it around lvl 67 last night, and I got EMS at lvl 96 so I won't go blind. Here take the bell back you deserve it the most." Sasuke stated while trying to give Naruto his bell, but Naruto gave it back.

"Nah after all you are my teammate and someone I trust to have my back during co-op, so keep it its yours." Naruto told his team before a familiar voice ripped through the skys as the battle finished.

**KAKASHI HATAKE DEFEAT**

**Items gain + 1 icha icha: can be used to make Kakashi listen to you**

**Haruno Sakura Social link rank 9/10 she will now endure mortal blows.**

**Uchiha Sasuke Social link 10/10 MAX would you like to reveal alternate form?**

Remembering what the guide said about Sasuke becoming his enemy Naruto made his choice.

_Reveal form? yes!_

**FemSasuke unlocked**

If Naruto was a lesser man he would have passed out right there for before him stood, instead of his rival a _very_ fine brunette(imagine how a 16 year old Mikoto wouls look). Even Akane was saying silent thanks that she was bisexual right now.

**Would you like to rename this character?**

_Rename? Yes!_

**New name: Sasuki**

Sasuki could only stare at her teammates in confusion as they jaw dropped

"What? Did I get taller?" She asked in a higher pitched voice than her male form before looking down.

"WHAT THE FU-" she was cut off as Naruto now had begun poking and groping her.

"Excuse me?" She asked as her right eye started twitching.

"Tell me "She heard Naruto begin to speak" Is there _ANY_ way you can go back to male form?" When she shook her head that she didn't think so his eyes lit up. "Well then me and you are going to Ichirakus!" before he could leave the clearing with the confused, but blushing, brunette in his arms he was stopped by a familiar voice.

"W-w-w-what are you guys?" Naruto calmly turned his head and spoke at his now conscious sensei.

"Your new team Noob-sensei™–ttebayo"

**AN) And now the second girl I was trying to figure out how to make Sasuke be in this fic w/o bashing but keeping him in character, but that's beyond my capapbilites so I said FUCK IT and made him my own char to mold how I want to also the reactions of Itachi would be funny when I get to that chapter.**

**An2) now I know a bunch of you are wondering about the whole scene with Hinata.. well I wanted to make a harem fic that didn't involve the 2 most used pairings (narusaku naruhina) nothing against her I just didn't want to do it im trying to be original as I can with this.**


	4. Wave Ultimate Ninja pt 1!

**Disclaimer : I lost Naruto in a poker game with Kishi(sonuvabetch)**

**(Sorry for future grammar/spelling also look for Black dynamite reference)**

**(before reading I suggest that you youtube Naruto shippuuden ultimate ninja 4 all Jutsus part 1 and start watching it if you don't remember the specials)**

Chapter 4: Wave.. Ultimate ninja! pt 1

We now find our heroes walking toward wave getting ready for a journey of legendary proportions. As they kept walking Naruto looked up from his guide and turned to Sasuki who was listening to the background music.

"Yo noobs at 3'oclock" Naruto informed her as she nodded. She then tossed an exploding kunai into a puddle which blew up a second later.

**Bounty collected: Demon brothers :Ryou+ 100,000**

"Normally I would question why this mission is obviously not c-rank but after I passed this team I realized I don't give a _Fuck _what happens to them." Kakashi drawled as he flipped to another page while keeping his pace behind Tazuna who was currently sweating.

"Aww we love you to sensei!" chirped a cheerful Pinkette as she continued to listen to the background music.

With great power comes great insanity

"Yo doesn't Sakura seem off lately?" Sasuki whispered to her blonde teammate who looked at her and shrugged.

"Nah probably side-effect of finally assimilating that other personality in her head nothing I'm concerned about." Naruto responded as he continued to read his guide before laughing." HAHAHAH oh my Kami. "

"What's so funny blondie?" Tazuna asked the boy in fear of his sanity.

"Nothing Just Gatou trying to take us down with a band of bandits." Naruto answered the man while his teammates shook their heads.

"Noob"

"Got that right Noob-sensei™ "Cue eye twitch from said sensei.

**~2 hours later~**

"**So Naruto how are you going to get Haku and Zabuza to join you?" **Akane asked as Naruto looked up for a moment.

"How indeed but I think I have an idea…"

"Idea about what Naruto?" Sasuki asked as she looked at Naruto

"How im gonna get Haku to be my 4th wife that's all" Naruto responded with a shrug.

_**~flash back Ichirakus 1 month ago~**_

"Hey Naruto-kun what would you and your teammates like today?" The young ramen waitress asked as she looked at him and what she assumed were his teammates enter the stand.

"Not sure about them but.."

*SNAP*

_Max Irrestibility Check!_

_Max Protective father resistance Check!_

_*SNAP*_

"How would you like to be my 3rd wife? Beacause with cooking skills and a body like yours-"

"This future Hokage will take you for the the ride of your life." He was successful clock blocked by a sarcastic remark from his teammate who finished his statement.

Suddenly everyone stopped, birds died, and puppies cried, and Kakashi met up with the other Jounins on time. As this was going on Sasuki actually took a step back while looking at her pinked haired teammate with a stare that obviously said "Why would you do that?"

"Sakura! Shut the FUCK UP! I don't even have to look to know that was you!" Naruto yelled while look every BUT at Sakura. "Would you like me to take you back to the forest of death with those broken ass kunai? Would you like that bitch!"

That day many pedestrians and ninjas alike who bore witness to that scene, vowed to never cock block Naruto… EVER

"Err.." Ayame started

"Sorry about that.. as I was saying would you like to get some dango with me later?" Naruto asked as he acted like he didn't just flip the fuck out.

"I'll think about it." She responded honestly.

**~flash back end~**

Sakura shuddered while Sasuki suddenly took up a thoughtful expression.

"What did you mean by _3__rd_ wife Naruto? I know about Akane but whose the 2nd?"

"Please we BOTH know you can't resist my 1337 skills so I might as well count you as wife number two." Naruto said in an amused tone.

"Is Ayame even going to agree to be your 3rd!" Sasuki yelled in exasperation. While Naruto and Akane ,in his seal, smirked.

"I don't know but by calling her 3rd means you've accepted my proposal so ..HA."Naruto yelled while pointing dramatically at her.

"Kid you've got no game." Tazuna shook his head

"Game? What you know about the game old man?"

"Brat I invented the game."

"Game recognizes game old man and you unfamiliar as fuck right now."

This went on for another 20 minutes before Naruto stopped and threw a Kunai at a bush. Naruto waited about 30 seconds before yelling duck and hitting the dirt with Tazuna. A large blade embedded itself into a tree with a Man standing on the handle, but before he could speak…

"Holy shit it's MC Hammer what the fuck! You're not even IN this damn universe let alone this game." Naruto yelled at the Swordsman causing everyone to give him "What the fuck?" looks.

"Kid you need to stop playing so many games life is NOT a game, but I suppose it doesn't matter because after Kakashi is dead I'm killing you next for that remark. Hell I don't even know who that _IS_ but you calling me that just pissed me off." Zabuza said while glaring at the blonde.

"Whatever baka! Kakashi-sensei is way too pro to lose to you!" Sakura yelled in support of her sensei who eye-smiled at her as he closed his book and revealed his sharingan eye.

"Well after such praise how could I lose?"

**~15 minutes later~**

"Son of a BITCH Kakashi you complete and utter noob! I _Told _you what would happen If you got into the water!" Naruto yelled at his sensei that was now trapped in the **Water Prison Jutsu**

"**Sometimes I wonder about you Konoha ninjas, I mean don't get me wrong you guys are strong, but that's **_**it**_** nobody acts like a damn**_** ninja**_** you know stick to shadows and come up with traps I mean look at this. This happened because Kakashi had us in the open instead of having you carry Tazuna with clones and take to the trees and **_**HIDE **_**you know? Like**_** NINJAS **_** hell your still wearing orange for fucks sake!"**Naruto rolled his eyes at her rant while opening up his guide.

_Chapter 3 :part one: Zabuza fight ½_

_Opponent Zabuza Momochi_

_Stats 45,000 hp 35,000 Chakra_

_Abilities: Hidden mist technique,water clone, Silent killing, water prison, Great water fall technique, Water dragon Bullet technique, Expert swordsmanship_

_Advise: Release Kakashi as soon as possible with a shadow shuriken technique then let him finish it until pseudo hunter-nin arrives_

"Well then, Sakura!" Naruto called as he got her attention " You're fighting him good luck."

"Why am _I _FIGHTING HIM!" Sakura yelled at her teammate who held up his book.

"Because according to this you won't do _ANYTHING_ worth mentioning for a few years so now you're gonna make up for it! So hurry up!" He told her.

*SNAP*

_Move transfer :Ultimate ninja 4 Special:Sakura Haruno :would you like to give this Ability to player 3? Yes!_

*SNAP*

**(Cue Naruto ost1 :Strong and Strike)**

Suddenly Sakura's body ignited as she was covered by a blue flame with Naruto yelling at her.

"There I helped you out! Now finish him before it ends!" He instructed her as she nodded and began to charge toward Zabuza who looked amused.

"Tell you what brat I'll let you get this free hit it won't do-" He was caught off as the punch seemingly sent him and the girl into another Dimension that could best be described as a barren wasteland , and he was unable to move any part of his body.

Too bad Sakura wouldn't have problem moving him.

**~in Sakura's special~**

"Im not going to make this easy!" Sakura then preceeded to punch him 5 miles away while then ran ahead of him and kicked him before he could land. Zabuza felt his ribs break from the kick. " Final Blow! This is it!."

Suddenly everything turned black and Zabuza thought it was finally all over.

That poor fool.

Suddenly the same pink haired girl slowly began to stand up, and when he looked around he could tell he was in the same wasteland.

"A girl's Heart! I'll Show you something!" Sakura yelled at him as he could only watch in morbid fascination as a giant grey version of the girl appeared behind her.

"Please for the love of God! Stop PLEASE!" He yelled as he frantically tried to move away but to his dismay he was still stuck.

"IM SPEAKING FROM THE HEART" Came the battle cry from the giant Sakura as it punched him shattering the scenery sending him another few miles back.

"You should be nice to girls noob." Sakura said while smiling in the direction she punched him.

"Oh my fucking God please tell me it's over!" Zabuza cried as he coughed up more blood. He then noticed that he was standing up and began to cry tears of joy.

Until he looked around.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK I'm still here WHY WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU. YOU CRAZY ASS BITCH! YOU HAVE PROBLEMS!" Zabuza yelled frantically. He turned to see the same little pink haired girl standing in front of him smiling.

He began to weep.

"Here I GOOOOO!" She yelled as she punched the ground sending him and the debris flying through the sky through the corner of his eye he could see her jumping from rock to rock before charging at a large bolder that was directly in front of him. He then saw her punch _THROUGH _the boulder and _IN TO _him and the force behind it sent him sending him into a mountain. The force of impact made a giant crater in the side of the mountain.

"I'm not done yet!" Sakura stated while panting

If he could still see he would would have cried even harder than he was.

**(End OST)**

**~outside the special~**

"Where did they go Naruto!" Sasuki yelled as she saw her teammate and the missing-nin disappear after the punch. Even Kakashi, now free of the prison, was searching for them.

"They're in a different dimension right now. What Sakura did was called an _Ougi _ also known by noobs as a '_special'_. What it does is send someone into another dimension leaving that person who they put there to be victim of all the insane shit they can think of." Naruto said before noticing a crack in the sky.

"Here they come now!"

_-500,000_

**Zabuza defeated**

**Trophy unlocked: Pink destruction**

**+700,000 ryou**

**Bonus content unlocked: Swordsman of mist Naruto Avatar: Player can now switch into the Swordsman of Mist Avatar giving him control of all 7 blades ( can only be unlocked by deafeating Zabuza without taking any damage.)**

"_Huh ill have to check out this "avatar" thing later." _Naruto thought as he saw a small orb that contained a miniature him surrounded by 7 blades float into his body.

Zabuza's near lifeless body was now just lying on the ground face down while Sakura landed next to him but before she could finish the job a masked-nin came and began to pick him up.

"Thankyou for your help but I'll take care of him now" Haku tried to remain calm and was about to leave until..

"Hey could I interest you in a cup of coffee at this old guys place?" Naruto said as he approached the stupefied hunter-nin as Sasuki and Akane Rolled their eyes.

"What?" Haku couldn't help but ask.

"Well your voice says that you are a very hot female and your skills clearly show your not a noob if you're a hunter-nin at your age, so why not?" He asked as he began to kiss her hand "Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze.. Pro at your service."

Haku then left in a shunshin while Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"She's an enemy." He said getting startled looks from his teammates and Tazuna.

"How can you tell?" Kakashi asked Naruto whose narrowed gaze was still aimed at the place the hunter-nin left.

"Simple she didn't say yes."

**AN)I was on a roll today phew hope I managed to pull off the ultimate ninja scene off correctly. I always wondered how people explained how a special in ultimate ninja literally sent you to a place that wasn't even there while they used it. Oh well hope I did good review please If not you're a noob.**

**An2) if you couldn't find the black dynamite reference youtube 'Black dynamite shut up euphoria' and reread this chapter**

**~Rebukx7**


	5. Wave pt 2: Maelstrom meets Fishcake

**Disclaimer: huh outta ideas at the moment don't own Naruto**

Chapter 5: Wave Ultimate Ninja pt 2: Maelstrom meets Fishcake!

**~At Tazuna's House~**

"So what do we do now?"Asked Sakura as team 7 sat around the table in the living room.

"We train." Kakashi told his students who looked at him with absolute mirth.

"HAHAHAHAHA.. Oh man I thought you were serious I mean come on _Sakura_ beat his ass I'm pretty sure we don't need to train." Sasuki told her sensei as Sakura looked away embarrassed.

"I say we raid Gatou's headquarters and take his money." Naruto told his team who looked thoughtful.

"But we don't know _where_ it is." Kakashi told the blonde as Naruto got a thoughtful expression.

"True but I can find out. I'll just use my New summon to get information." Naruto explained as he pulled out a Blue orb with a female version of him trapped in the center.

**~Flashback~**

"Ok Konohamaru you want to know how to beat your grandfather? Well I'll teach you." Naruto told the small brown haired kid in front of him who started jumping up and down in joy.

"But I'll only explain once so listen up! Focus your chakra around your body and try to focus it in the form of a female. Then release it and if you can do it correctly ill even teach you another jutsu, however if you cannot then you can never bother me again." Naruto was inwardly smirking because he knew that a brat who probably didn't understand what a female was would be unable to use the jutsu.

"**Sexy Jutsu"**

*Poof*

Naruto looked up prepared to laugh is ass off, but instead found himself propelled into a river from a nosebleed.

"_Son of a Bitch! How.. That's nearly Better than MINE what the fuck. Holy shit he even added a thong what the hell has this kid seen?" _ Naruto thought frantically as he looked at possibly the hottest _human _female he's ever seen.

**Hidden Summon: Naruko has been unlocked: Player can summon her to get information via seduction or summon her to help in combat. (Must teach Konohamaru the "Sexy Jutsu" on first try.)**

"What the fuck Kono how did you do that?"Naruto yelled at his pseudo student who shrugged.

"I saw one of grandpa's dirty magazines, now how about that other jutsu?" Kono asked with an evil grin.

**~flashback end~**

Safe to say Naruto also gained the **Hidden character: Rasengan Konohamaru** that day as well much to Naruto's annoyance.

Naruto channeled chakra into the orb and crushed it and suddenly a tear in the air appeared ,and Naruko came falling down from her own dimension.

"What the fuck? Where am I and why do I have the sudden urge to do whatever the person responsible for sending me here wants?" Came the confused voice of the female Naruto who was looking at a room full of people giving her looks of disbelief. She didn't recognize any of them.

Until she saw _Sasuki_ .

"YOU BITCH IM BRINGING YOU BACK TO KONOHA NOW!" And with that the girl lunged at a confused as fuck Sasuki and what followed could only be described as the greatest catfight _ever._

**~30 minutes later~**

We now find our heroes in a room with two nearly naked kunoichi, a pissed Sakura and Tsunami, and an unconscious Naruto, Tazuna, and Inari.

Kakashi kept reading his book.

"Now that you settled down I think it's time for me to explain something… Naruko was it?" at her nod Kakashi continued."That _Sasuki _is not _your _Sasuki. You are in another dimension where we will need your help with something." Before he could continue an annoying little troll cut him off.

That ass.

"It doesn't matter what you do!" Inari yelled at them. " Gatous's too strong. YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SUFFERING!."

Suddenly the members of team 7, excluding Naruto, blanched having an idea of what Naruto had to go through and by extension what Naruko more than likely went through too. Before Naruko could yell at the little Noob the voice of someone she didn't realize was in the room interrupted her.

" You little NOOB!" Naruto yelled while everyone else besides Naruko facefaulted thinking he was about to go on an angsty rant about his childhood." I know nothing about suffering? Let me tell you something you're a noob and borderline cannon fodder in the grand plotline called NARUTO you have no purpose besides bitching at impossibilities until I have to prove you wrong and I guarantee ill have to deal with at least 6 more people like you so YOU don't know about suffering because that's what I have to deal with for the rest of my LIFE!" 

"Calm do-" Kakashi was cut off as Naruto continued.

"Besides player 2, player 3, (Sasuki and Sakura twitched at being called that) and a certain vixen , I am surrounded by Noobs!( Kakashi twitched at not being added on list) and in a world full of noobs being a pro is a lonely life!" Naruto started to tear up before he was caught in a hug by his fellow blonde.

"There- there it'll be okay, I know how you feel, don't worry I'll make you feel better come on how about we go train would you like that?" at his silent nod she dragged him out the room, much to the annoyance of Sasuki who didn't understand why, leaving a room of people who could only stare at the door in shock.

"Did that _really_ just happen?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask.

"Shut the fuck up noob- sensei™!" and with that Sasuki stomped up stairs to her and Sakura's room.

**~In a forest~**

"So you're from an alternate version of this time line where everyone is an opposite gender?" Naruto asked Naruko who had a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Except Kyuubi she's still a female, guess the same rules don't apply to demons."Naruko answered him while she looked at the sky.

"But how close are the time lines exactly?" Naruto asked her with curiosity evident in his voice.

"Well I _can_ tell you that I'm on "**New game +"** in the shippuuden era _again."_ When she saw his look of disbelief she held up her left hand that had a sky blue ring on the middle finger along with a shark-shaped crystal on top of it.

"W-w-w-what _is _that." Naruto cursed himself for stuttering in the presence of probably the most 1337 female he'll ever meet.

She smirked at that. The kid had potential but he was still _too_ inexperienced with the game. Remembering that he asked her a question she responded.

"This is called the **GameShark** it's my universe's version of your **Action Replay**" She answered him. Then she noticed that he seemed to have a made a decision to himself as he nodded his head at something she assumed his Kyuubi told him. She then saw him step in front of him and kneel on the ground, but before she could question it he started talking.

"Baby how would you feel to be my 5th wife?" he asked her with complete seriousness as she looked at him with wide-eyes.

"_What the hell?.. I mean sure he has potential to be as pro as me someday..and I'm not interested in anyone back home.."_She thought to herself before she heard Kyuubi snicker in the back of her mind.

"**Come on kit you know you want to besides it might be more interesting than going through your life a **_**3**__**rd**__** time. **_**Maybe this time you'll be able to beat Madara even if it isn't in your home universe"**

"_Oh what the hell? Why not?" _She thought as she came to a conclusion.

" Sure why not after this wave arc I'll come back when I finish my game again, but that doesn't mean you can't summon me if you need help you are me after all. I'll help you no matter what and that's a promise of a lifetime –ttebane." She said before she could stop herself from saying her verbal tic. She turned around to hide her embarrassment.

"_Well now I bet he thinks I'm a noo-" _Before she could continue her thoughts he interrupted her with a yell.

"ALL RIGHT! I _knew _I had game – ttebayo!" Suddenly he stopped his dance as she looked at him with wide-eyes. After a moment of silence they both broke out into laughter until a _Two _loud familiar voices yelled at the same time. One voice was loud and Masculine while the other was just as loud, but feminine and they spoke in perfect unison.

_**Hidden Platinum trophy unlocked: Forbidden lovers (player must capture the heart of their alternate self."**_

_**Tag Jutsu ability unlocked ( players can now combine Jutsus with each other for devastating results)**_

_**Tag jutsu unlocked: Filler move: Naruto Shippuden movie 4: The Lost Tower: Super Rasengan UNLOCKED!**_

They both just looked at each other before laughing again.

"Well lets go to sleep we have a pseudo hunter-nin to catch when they wake us up." Naruko said while Naruto nodded his head.

" Hey…" Naruko started asking Nauto while they got comfortable on the forest floor.

"Yea..?" Naruto asked signaling her to continue.

"Is your Haku a boy or a girl?"

**AN: and that's the end of this chapter. Props to Challenger for inspiring me to do something with Naruko!**

**Now it's time that I told you guys something.. who else is in harem I do not know. **

**Why? Because that is now YOUR choice. **

**Catch?: No Hinata or Sakura Why? Cause they are the top 2 most used kunoichi to be paired with Naruto..**

**So send in a review about who should be next **

**Have a great day depending on reviews ill decide when to do next chapter hell I don't have this shit planned out each chapter so far happened because I sat down when I was bored.. or when I rage-quit marvel vs capcom online on my ps3.**

**Rebukex7**


	6. Wave Arc: Finale: Player 1

**Disclaimer: if I owned Naruto somebody would have realized Naruto's solid Henge by now.**

**(I apologize for future spelling/grammar)**

Chapter 6: wave arc Finale: Player 1

We now find our favorite blonde hero walking down the road back to Konoha while dragging an unconscious Zabuza behind him. Next to him was Sasuki who was talking to Haku and on the other side of him were Sakura, who was singing along to the background music, and Kakashi , who was reading his book.

"**You do realize that you and Naruko will go to hell for what you did to Haku right?" **Came the matter of fact voice of Akane.

"_Like it was OUR fault Haku decided to be a fucking TRAP!" _Naruto thought angrily as Akane sighed.

"**Naruko **_** TOLD**_** you that in her world Haku was a very masculine FEMALE"** Akane yelled in exasperation. "**That obviously should have told you that your Haku would be a very feminine **_**MALE"**_

"_Well it's too late now besides look Haku seems happier now and Sasuki is happy that she has someone who can relate to her."_ Naruto said while cringing at his _noob_ mistake of not listening to his pro-er self.

**~Flash Back Bridge~**

"Ok thank God Naruko volunteered to bodyguard Tsunami and Inari I didn't want to show up late to the boss battle like a noob." Naruto commented as he and his team walked onto the bridge.

"So what's the plan player 1-sama"Sakura asked as she started trying to tape record the background music.

"Glad to see Sakura's taking the whole "Life is nothing but a game about Naruto thing better than the rest of us." Kakashi said while putting away his book.

"Meh you will too once something so incredibly bizarre happens to you that you'll have no choice BUT to accept it." Sasuki said before looking down and sniffling "I miss my di-"She was cut off by Naruto who started yelling his team the plan.

"The plan is to get to the bridge and leave the close range stuff to me. Sakura you'll be in charge of healing me and Sasuki. Sasuki you'll provide long range support for me while also keeping Haku away from me until I deal with Zabuza." Naruto told Player 2 and player 3 before turning to stare at Kakashi.

"What should I do?" Kakashi said as the mist started to appear signaling the beginning of the Zabuza boss battle.

"Since at the moment you are our default player 4 you'll be the one defending Tazuna while we have all the fun." Naruto said as Kakashi looked ready to object and remind them that he was in fact the sensei of the group.

"Naruto do I have to remind you that I am the leader here?" Kakashi asked while Sasuki and Sakura just looked at him while holding back laughter.

" Noob-sensei™ you lost that position after you got caught by a **Water Prison **after we told you what would happen _AND_ stayed in there despite you having a lightning chakra nature and could have probably not only bust out BUT could have also electrocute Zabuza in the process." Sakura told her sensei, but before he could respond Sasuki continued.

"Not only that but let three 12-year olds continue on this _A-class mission_ ALONE instead of calling for back-up or turning back to the village while telling Tazuna to go fuck himself." She said while looking at said bridge builder." And don't think we're not getting paid for an A-class either you old fuck we're getting our money you can believe that."

"What part of you is 12?"Kakashi asked while looking at the physically 16-year old raven haired female.

"Anyway, Sakura! What's our chance of survival?" Naruto asked while Zabuza and Haku came into view. Suddenly Sakura pulled out a calculator and responded.

"We have a 99.99, repeating of course, percent chance of kicking ass." She told her teammate while putting the calculator back into a scroll.

"That's better than what we would have had before." Naruto said while pulling out his **Swordsman of the Mist Avatar. **Things would go smoothly but of course shit always got in his way…..

"ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS KAKASHIIIIIIII HATAKE!"Our favorite sensei yelled while jumping into the mist leaving behind a wide-eyed team 7 plus Tazuna. Sasuki couldn't help but whisper in morbid fascination..

"Oh my God .. he just ran in.."

"SHIT STICK TO PLAN!" Naruto yelled while turning into his avatar and grabbing Samehada before following his sensei with Sakura and Sasuki right behind him.

**~In the fog~**

Kakashi was on his 69th combo but before he could reach 70 Zabuza was batted away from him by a shark-skin sword with a blonde holding it.

**C-C-C- COMBO BREAKER!**

"Damnit Kakashi! If you finished that combo you would have let yourself open to an attack! Im trying to beat this noob while taking no battle damage damnit!" Naruto yelled at his teacher who looked away embarrassed.

"See.. THIS is why you're player 4" Sasuki told him before catching Haku in a **Tsukiyomi. **When she turned around she noticed Zabuza getting up and charging at Sakura who was putting on her gloves.

Sasuki just shook her head.

"You just don't learn do you?" Sakura asked while igniting herself in a blue flame and charging at Zabuza sending them both into another Dimension.

**~ In the special~**

" FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Zabuza started to yell when he noticed where he was,_AGAIN,_ before the pink haired- Demon punched him away.

**~On bridged~**

" Well since we basically won, Sasuki, how about I show you that being female isn't so bad when your friends with-" Naruto started but was successfully cock-blocked by a pudgy old man and his Band of bandits.

"Well look at this Zabuza couldn't take care of a group of kid-"Gatou's trolling was interrupted by the most killing intent _Kakashi_ has ever felt, and it wasn't even aimed at him!

"MOTHA FUCKER YOU DID NOT JUST COCK-BLOCK ME YOU FUCKING NON-1337 NOOB!..**ARGGGGGGGG" **Naruto yelled while being surround by the crimson _**Demon fox's cloak **_and charging at him with Kiba(**one of the seven swordsmen's swords if you don't read manga**) in both of his hands.

~**302 corpses later~**

"We're late.. not that it would have mattered anyway." Came a voice over the bridge as everyone turned to see a familiar 16-year old blond with whisker marks.

"**Seems the kit had more potential than we thought.. enraged on your first try in wave didn't cause this much damage.."**Kyuubi told her host who seemed as bewildered as her.

"What happened?" She asked her younger male self

"*pant* That noob *pant* cock-blocked me…" Naruto explained as he sat down against a rail on the bridge that _wasn't _covered by blood as Naruko nodded in understanding.

"_**Dumbass wont make that mistake again"**_ Akane and Kyuubi unknowingly thought at the same time.

Suddenly Inari started walking towards Naruto who looked at him in confusion.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier Naruto-nii" Inari said while Naruto chuckled and smiled signaling that he had forgiven him already." D-D-Do you think I can be as pro and 1337 as you one day?" Inari asked innocently.

" No..but I guess you'll be damn close noo-er-pro in training." Inari smiled at that.

_**~20 minutes later~**_

Haku opened his eyes to find himself in the middle of an argument.

"Boy"

"Girl!"

"Boy!"

"Girl!"

"What proof do you have to back up your claim? While it would explain why we didn't have coffee the strategy guide doesn't tell!" Naruto yelled at his female counterpart who just shook her head.

"Don't you remember? My world is full of people the opposite gender so if MY Haku was a female yours must be a male!" She yelled at her younger male self.

"BUT! In _BOTH_ of our worlds Haku could have lied!" He yelled as Naruko gasped at not ever having come to that conclusion.

"UGHH this is so confusing!" Naruko yelled while grabbing her pig-tails. Haku thought it was time he ended this.

"Excuse me but I'm a M-"He was cut off as he heard a snap followed by a satisfied Naruto smiling and a Naruko whose eye were open in shock.

"What did you just do?" She asked frantically.

" Hmm ohh I just activated the no Trap cheat, so we won't have to deal with this ever again. I will NOT perv after another dude you can believe that-ttebayo." Naruto said while nodding his head in satisfaction.

"Even _I_ can't believe you did that." Naruko said as she shook her head before looking at Haku with pity."I suggest you check if you didn't lose something.. and gain two other things." She told the pseudo-hunter-nin who grew pale before looking down.

" KYAAAAAAAAA" The now female hunter-nin shrieked as Sasuki put a hand on her should in support.

"Don't worry the Hormones will make it easier to adapt." Sasuki told Haku despondently.

"….Im going to hell aren't I?" Naruto asked to nobody, but got answer anyway.

"**Yep.."**Akane sighed.

**Gold trophy unlocked: Hero of Wave**

**Ryou+ 1,000,000**

**Great Naruto Bridge :Unlocked**

**Hidden characters unlocked: Zabuza + FemHaku**

**Bingo book Status: Unlocked (Must get a perfect victory in Zabuza boss battle): Rank A: insert Name? **_Yes!_

**Name: (**_Naruto smirked)_** "Player 1"**

**~Flash Back end~**

" _Oh well it'll be a little more quiet now without Naruko here."_ Naruto thought Akane had to admit like Naruto the kit grew on you after awhile hell even Sasuki seemed a tad sad after her departure back to her world.

" **Well look at it this way you can summon her again when you need it, and she'll be back when she finishes her game."** Akane told him as they approached the gates to Konohagakure.

**Chunin Exam Arc Begin? **_Yes!_

**AN: Annnd that's that time to start the chunin exam arc hopefully I've been getting better at being an author. For those of you who caught Kakashi's Leroy Jenkin's Moment congradulations. If You didn't look up Leroy Jenkins on youtube and re-read the chapter. Read and review I still need to know whose gonna be nexyt in harem.**


	7. Chunin Exams:Fangirls and Pwning Snakes

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto but I do own Ultimate Ninja storm2… and I did rage-quit online…Fuckin spammers.**

Chapter 7:Chunin exams pt 1: Fangirls and Pwning a Snake

We now find our heroes walking toward where they figured they'd meet the Suna-Shinobi when suddenly Naruto asked a very interesting question.

" Yo Sasuki why do you wanna fight your bro I mean you _KNOW_ he is innocent after looking at the guide to find out if you ever beat him" Sasuki just shrugged and looked at him with complete seriousness.

"Not only did he call me a noob before putting me in **Tsukiyomi** he also took the last Klondike bar before he left..the asshole." She muttered angrily with her sharingan eyes flashing before calming herself.

"But think of all the good he did not only did he stop a civil war **BUT** he also made that song to warn pros about the dangers of fangirls" Naruto informed as she looked at him thoughtfully.

**~Flash back~**

"Excuse me this is for all the pros out there that have to deal with a certain plague..Called fangirls." Itachi Shuddered before picking up the microphone.

"_They are climbing in your windows_

_Snatchin yo clansmen up_

_So you gotta hide yo sons hide yo men_

_Hide yo sons and hide yo men_

_Hide yo sons and hide yo men_

_And hide yo girlfriends too cause they raping up everybody out here.."_

**~Flash back end~**

"THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER!.. hmm no wonder we could never sneak into your house through your windows." Sakura said thought fully before jumping at Naruto sudden movement as he yelled at a .._square _rock?

"Damnit Kono! You're supposed to be _MY_ legacy how you can disappoint me with that sad excuse of a disguise."

"Sorry Boss but it's not like we _ALL_ have max ninja skills my hiding is only lvl 2/10. Anyway I was wondering if you wanted to play a mini-game with us." Konohamaru said sheepishly while gesturing at his two companions. He suddenly looked at the rest of team 7 with a mischievous grin.

"Hey are these two your women? Not bad boss not bad.." Kono continued while bumping fists with his idol.

"Nah just the black haired one even if she is still trying to deny it." He said while scratching the back of his head while Sasuki just "hn'd" and turn away.

"She needs to be more honest with herself boss?"

"Yup"

" Okay but what about the pink-haired one she a fangirl?" Kono asked while shuddering.

"Nah she's just my homie that's all" Naruto said while high-fiving Sakura who returned to listening to the music.

" Ya she does seem a little on the _Manly_ side anyway." Kono said while Naruto facepalmed.

"Damnit Kono what's Pro self-preservation rule #1"

"Don't insult girls who could kick your ass..Oh."Kono replied with wide eyes before hauling ass around the corner with Sakura right behind him before he ran into somebody as Sasuki,Naruto,udon, and Moegi arrived to the scene.

"Damnit Naruto didn't you use the no trap cheat?" Sasuki asked while staring at a Make-up wearing _thing_ in pajamas. Naruto was looking at our favorite puppet master with a solemn expression.

"That's no trap that's a crossdressing _pervert._" he told her as, what he assumed what was Temari, began to snicker.

" I'm no pervert this is war paint damnit!" Kankuro yelled hysterically while letting the boy go while reaching for the bundle on his back.

" Oh good for you noob not only do you attack the Hokage's grandson, But now you're going to start a fight in the middle of _ANOTHER_ village that could get your fine-ass teammate hurt in the crossfire once the ANBU come down on your ass." Naruto said sarcastically taking not of Temari's blush as he finished his rant.

"Who do you think you are?"Kankuro yelled at the blonde haired boy in front of him.

" Me hmm.. I _THINK _I'm the son of the yondaime, Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi no kitsune, and I am Player 1! So shut the fuck up noob."Naruto yelled while Kankuro and Temari grew pale at the fact he held the Kyuubi.

"**Damn straight they better recognize." **Akane snickered inside of the seal.

"Now .." Naruto began as he looked at a tree. "Yo Mr.1 get down here so I can fix your seal I can't have you getting in my way." Naruto told Gaara who teleported in front of his team with his eyes slightly wider than normal.

"You what do you plan to do with my seal?" Gaara drawled while Sakura looked at him with wide-eyes.

"_Oh my God… he's emo! And I bet he has a tragic back story he will be mine!"_ Sakura thought while giggling causing Gaara to get a chill up his spine and everyone to look at her funny while Sasuki facepalmed.

"_So she goes from me to a _psychopath_?"_Sasuski thought while pointedly ignoring the voice in her head that said she was close to going berserk too if it wasn't for her surprise sex change.

"What makes you think I'll let you near my seal?" Gaara said while looking at Naruto who was giving him an amused look.

"Nothing I just did it while you looked at Sakura." Remembering something he read from Gaara's bio in the guide he added" Have fun sleeping tonight..Noob."

"Come on lets go meet Kakashi at the training grounds so we can get our wavers for the exams." Sasuki told her team while walking away while Sakura gave one last wink at Gaara, who looked at team 7 with wide-eyes and actually allowed himself to gape a little bit as he noticed he couldn't hear the demon's voice anymore, and Naruto looked at him before remembering something.

"Hey you should go to Ichirakus when you're hungry, but don't hit on the waitress there I'd hate to have to hurt you." Naruto said while running off with his team leaving behind a shell-shocked Suna team. Temari could only utter one thing before collapsing to her knees with a blush.

"Pro.."

**Silver trophy unlocked: Breaking through the Sand**

**Kazekage Gaara unlocked!( can only be used after shippuuden)**

**Gaara Secret Jutsu unlocked: Shield of Sand Version: Karura(**his mother)

**~At the 1****st**** exam room~**

Our heroes no find themselves standing in room 302 while the rest of the rookies walked up to greet them.

"Hey looks like all the rookies are here!" Kiba yelled while Hinata rolled her eyes.

"Speak for yourself and team 10, but I for one am not a noob." Hinata told her teammate while Shino nodded his head.

"Oh hey Hinata no hard feelings abou-"Naruto was cut off by a Jyuuken blow to the stomach. He groaned in pain on the ground before noticing Hinata was offering to help him up, he smirked and grabbed her hand.

"No there are no hard feelings, but that was for basically calling me a noob…not cool."Hinata said while helping her former crush off of the ground while Sasuki smirked.

"I knew one day your past would come back to bite you in the ass." Sasuki told her teammate while the other rookies looked at her in confusion.

"Hey who are you? Where is my Sasuke-kun!"Ino yelled at the Raven haired beauty in front of her while the other males started undressing her with their eyes..until Naruto glared at them.

" I am Sas-" Sasuki was about to tell the blonde-haired noob in front of her that she was the former Uchiha heart-throb before she was cut off my her blonde teammate.

Oh how she hated blondes sometimes why couldn't Itachi get rid of them instead?

"Sasuki Uzumaki-Namikaze" Naruto told their fellow Konoha shinobi while everyone else gaped at her putting two and two together.

Ok she _REALLY_ hated blondes

"Yup she's my 2nd wife." He continued while everybody else gaped some more. Sasuki swore she would get revenge for this one day, but she caught on to what he was trying to do.

"Yes I'm Sasuki _Uzumaki-Namikaze_" She cringed at the name.

**~Meanwhile in Hell ~**

"**ACHHOOOO why is it so fucking Cold all of a sudden?"**

**~back in room 302~**

"I'm Sasuke's replacement after he went missing-nin trying to obtain power." She stated while the ninja from her class gasped. Suddenly a random Kusa-Kunoichi started yelling curses while stomping out of the room making team 7 sigh in relief, which went unnoticed by everyone BUT Shikamaru.

Of course.

"Noo! Not my Sasuke you liar!." Ino yelled while trying to wipe away tears.

"You guys should keep it down." A gray haired ninja said while walking up to them.

**-Cue scene of explaining ninja info cards-**

"Give me data on Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze." She stated while all of the Iwa-nins started to glare at Naruto who, in turn, glared at Sasuki. Sasuki just shrugged off the glare.

"They're canon fodder it's not like you ever see them again." Sasuki told him as he relaxed his glare.

"Let's see Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze it says he is the son of Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki. Naruto like his mother also became a jinchurriki of the Kyuubi no kitsune. Naruto has completed 47 D-rank missions, 1 solo B-rank, and an A-rank. He has an A-rank listing in the Bingo Book going by the name "Player 1". Kabuto finshed before getting punched through the window by an irate Sakura and getting struck down by a **Chidori spear** by Sasuki.

"Dude you noob you are such a fucking spy it's not even funny."Naruto said while shaking his head while everyone else stared at his pink-haired homie and pseudo-wife in disbelief.

**Kabuto DEFEAT**

**Platinum Trophy Unlocked!: Preventing a Zombie Invasion**

**+30,000,000 Ryou**

**+ Ninja info cards**

**+ 1 life(Can be obtained by defeating a hard boss)**

"Well guess Konoha ninja's aren't tree huggers like we thought.. Seeing how easily they killed an Ally." One incredibly pale Karin said to her teammate that nodded shakily.

"ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS LISTEN UP!"Ibiki yelled signaling the start of the written exam. Having just entered the room with the Chunin he saw _NOTHING_ of what just happened.

**~Couple hours later~**

"Alright the Procter for the second exams is here! The beautiful and sexy ANKO MITARASHI!" Our favorite Chunin exam proctor yelled before crashing through the window and looking around, but before she could comment on how many teams were left a voice interrupter her.

"DAMNNNNNNNNN GIRL WHERE DID YOU GET ALL OF _THAT?_" Everyone turned to see a grinning Naruto looking her up and down, but before she could neuter the little brat in front of her another voice shook her out of her thoughts.

"You're early again Anko." Ibiki sighed while she scratched her head sheepishly.

"Ok you brats meet me at training ground 44 for the second stage of the Chunin exams." She yelled while hopping out of the window. Team 7 shrugged and the two female members grabbed onto Naruto who transformed into his **Golden Fox Cloak** and flashed out of the room leaving a group of gaping Shinobis behind them.

**~45 minutes later~**

"-and soon you'll figure out why it is called the forest of death." Anko finished her speech while handing out the wavers while Naruto rolled his eyes.

" Riiiighhtttt this noob excuse of a mini dungeon couldn't kill shit." Naruto complained while he finished signing his name. Suddenly he found himself with a gash on the right side of his face with a _VERY_ sexy Kunoichi licking up the blood, much to Sasuki's annoyance.

"Brats like you are going to be the first ones to die." She said while Naruto smirked at his chance to get more content.

"You better savor every moment of this cause you're going to be _begging _me to go to your house for some _coffee_ after I enter the forest." He told her seriously before grabbing his team's scroll and throwing it to Karin who looked shocked.

"There take that you'll need it more than we will, and make sure you head directly to the tower." he told her while turning his back toward her and started walking towards his annoyed team.

"_His chakra it's so warm..and huge.."_ Karin thought as she became weak in the knees as she watched him walk away.

"Any reason why you did that _Naruto-kun?_" Sasuki hissed at Naruto who smirked and unsealed his key items scroll, and pulled out a pair of heaven and earth scrolls.

"Because _Sasuki-chan_(Sasuki resisted the urge to **Chidori** him right then and there) We didn't need another pair." He told her while walking in to the forest and transforming to take him and his party to the tower.

**~With Anko~**

Anko was sitting down watching the teams leave when she noticed a note in her pocket. Curious Anko began to read it and what she read caused tears to begin to pour down her face.

_Hey when you were grabbing on to me I noticed an ugly tattoo on your neck so I got rid of it with my pro sealings skills. Oh well hope you kick the guys ass who gave you that ugly tattoo. Stay 1337~ Naruto_

Suddenly Anko stopped crying and remember what he told her earlier.

"_Son of a bitch he was right! Well I wonder how he likes his __**Coffee.**_" She thought with a smirk.

**Chunin exam arc part One of Three: Cleared**

**Silver trophy unlocked: Freeing the Snake-mistress**

**Support charcter Unlocked: Anko Mitarashi**

**Avatar unlocked: Snake summoner Naruto**

**Poison mastery: Learned**

**Gold trophy unlocked: Healing Mistress**

**Support character: Karin**

**+1 Kusa nin headband (Player can now gain access to Grass country)**

**Avatar Unlocked: Sensor Naruto**

**Regeneration speed increased for members of the party.**

**AN: And that's that make sure you read and review! Also if you didn't catch the Antoine Dodson reference youtube him and re-read chapter!**

**Also for those of you who do not know what 1337 means here you go: 1337=leet which is short for ELITE which can be written as 31337.**

**~Rebukex7(I just noticed I joined on 10-10-10 awesome right?)**


	8. Prelims and Hinata's Ascension!

**Disclaimer:I don't not own Naruto if I did Sasuke EMS would be revealed already!**

**(I apologize for future grammar and spelling..I'm getting better though right..RIGHT?)**

Chapter 8: Chunin Exam pt 2: Prelims Hinata's Ascension

**~Flash Back 10 minutes ago~**

***Poof***

"How the hell are you here already!" Iruka yelled while trying to release a genjutsu.

It didn't work.

" Meh after spending 8 hours fighting 8 foot tall spiders here, you tend to learn where the only means of shelter is in the Forest of Death."Sakura told the gapping Chunin while fighting back a shiver.

"Also we're just that awesome." Naruto finished while fist bumping Sasuki who had the trade mark Uchiha smirk on her face.

Which was damn hot on a female Uchiha.

**Fastest team record: Broken!**

**Hiraishin:Kunai version: Unlocked!**

**~Flash Back End~**

We now find our heroes sitting in the tower completely bored out of there mines while waiting for the 5 days to end.

"Son of a BITCH!" Naruto yelled at nobody in particular while Sasuki just shook her head. "I can't believe that we have to wait another 4 days 23 hours and 40 minutes before we can do anything worth mentioning again!"

"I told you that doing this would be a bad Idea now we have to wait for the rest of the teams to get here." Sasuki told her teammate while sitting against the wall.

"Ya I know but I just wish there was a way to pass the time." Naruto said sadly before coming to conclusion."Fuck it I'm going trollin." Naruto said while getting up." I'm going to go pwn some noobs" he continued turning around and beginning to walk toward the exit be for being jumped on by Sakura.

"No! You can't we promised we wouldn't be _THOSE_ type of pros!" she yelled at her party leader while dragging him back toward the wall that they had occupied.

"But it's so damn boring!" He yelled desperately while Sasuki looked at him in amusement.

"Well that's fine and all but what are you gonna do? It's not like someone is just going to pop up and answer your prayers." She said while rejoicing that in some way karma was coming back to get the blonde for what he did to her.

Is what she thought until…

*POOF*

"My my you're already here, I knew you were special." One _Very_ familiar purple haired exam proctor said while sauntering her way over to Naruto who could barely resist the shit-eating grin that was no doubt about to show itself upon his face.

"Well you know that's just how I roll." Naruto said while smirking as she hooked her arm around his while Sasuki was gritting her teeth.

"How about you show me which flavor _Coffee _you enjoy at my house?" She asked Naruto. When he nodded they both disappeared in a swirl of leaves leaving behind an exasperated Sakura and a Sasuki..

*CRACK!*

..who just put her fist through a wall.

"Son of a bitch! Nobody is that fucking lucky!" Sasuki shouted to nobody in particular as Sakura just shook her head.

"Are you sure that's the _only_ reason you are upset?" Sakura asked slyly to a confused as hell Sasuki.

"What do you mean?" Sasuki asked genuinely confused.

"I mean are you sure you aren't _Jealous_." Sakura asked with a teasing smile on her face.

Sasuki just scoffed and was about to perform the **Brood no Jutsu** when Sakura asked her something else.

"*Sigh* Why don't you quit lying to yourself so that you can make things easier?" Sakura asked her friend who looked at her scandalized.

" Damnit Sakura I like Women-"

"And Naruto." She said as she shook her head at her friend's denial.

"But I'm a bo-"

"You _were_ a boy but pretty soon that alternate form will be you default form and the hormones fucking with your brain will make you think and feel like a _WOMAN" _Sakura told Sasuki who was now pale as a sheet.

"SO WHAT DO I DO NOW!" Sasuki yelled hysterically at her teammate who smiled warmly at her.

"You let me explain the mechanics of the female body because you haven't had to deal with the biology of that form of yours yet, and it's about time it begins." She said with a smile that for some reason scared the hell out of Sasuki, and started to advance on her frightened teammate. "Now let Sakura-Oneesan explain something to you.

Sasuki's screams echoed throughout the entire forest scarring noob teams away from the tower.

**~5 days later~**

We now see our favorite blonde entering the stadium when he saw his team he began _limping_ his way toward them, and soon came face to face with an overly cheerful Sasuki and a wary Sakura who looked at him with.. was that pity?

"What's up gu-"He was then tackled to the ground by a hysterical Sakura who was trying to get him as far as possible from their other teammate.

"Whatever you do _DON'T_ get near Sasuki right now!" She whispered frantically while looking over her shoulder at Sasuki who was giving them both a warm smile.

"But why? She is our teammate Sakura and she's _Player 2_ I can't just ignore her."Naruto tried to explain but Sakura shook her head sadly.

"No you don't get it. A day after you left her transformation finalized and the _biology_ of her new body started to take effect." Sakura said hoping that he would get the hint. Suddenly inside of the seal Akane's eyes grew wide as she shouted at her container.

"**SAKURA'S RIGHT STAY AWAY.. I WANT TO LIVE DAMNIT!" **She yelled at Naruto who grew even more confused. "**If you die **_**I**_** die remember?** When he nodded she continued **"So if you love me DO NOT get near her!**" She almost begged at Naruto, who scoffed at her.

"I can't believe you guys asking me to ignore my teammate I'm going to talk to her to find out what's going on and that's that!" Naruto yelled while walking toward Sasuki as Sakura shook her head at his stupidity while Akane was reverting back to her old habits, and trying to take control of Naruto to get him the fuck away.

That poor bastard.

"What's up Sasu-"Naruto was then forced to dodge a fireball that came from Sasuki who had the most evil expression you could imagine being on somebody's face.

Naruto started to feel like _HE _was in front of _Player 1_ for once.

"**You IDIOT cant you tell she is getting her **_**MONTHLY visit?" **_Akane asked as Naruto's eyes suddenly got wide in understanding as Sasuki lunged at him with a feral grin.

**~45 minutes later~**

**Platinum trophy unlocked: Surviving certain death (Player must live through 3 or more fatal wounds)**

**Party's defense increased.**

We now find our favorite blonde crying in a corner while the rest of the Genin looked at him in confusion while the adult men in the room shook their heads sadly.

Except Kakashi who was laughing his ass off.

The troll.

Everyone looked at the computer screen once they heard the beeping stop signaling the first match.

**Sasuke Uchiha VS Yoroi Akado**

Everyone besides the Hokage and team 7 looked in confusion as Sasuki jumped into the arena before turning to the Hokage.

"The name is Sasuki Uzumaki-Namikaze now." She said while everyone excluding team7 Jaw-dropped.

Naruto whimpered some more.

Noticing the confused look from the Hokage she told him that since this is Naruto's fault he has to take responsibility. The Hokage nodded his head while giving his pseudo grandson and the ninja about to fight Sasuki a pitying look.

**Sasuki Uzumaki-Namikaze VS. Yoroi Akado**

Sasuki nodded to herself before turning to Akado who began to smirk at her while shaking his head and began speaking in a smug voice.

"Maybe after this I can show you how a _Real_ man feels in be-"He was cut off by an electrical hand bursting through his chest and out his back. He was too caught up with his ranting he didn't hear the proctor signal the beginning of the match.

"*cough* Winner Sasuki Uzu_Whatever"_ Hayate stated while the medics dragged the body away.

"I forfeit." Karin yelled while everyone gave her curious glances she blushed and stated that not only was she just a medic, but she didn't even know where the rest of her team _was_. They could have gotten eaten by a bear for all she knew since they left her not wanting to trust the scroll they were given by Naruto.

"*cough* Anyone *cough*else?" The sick proctor asked. When nobody raised their hands he continued with the next match. Everyone was watching the computer except a furious Sound-Jounin.

" _Son of a BITCH! I missed my chanced to give the Uchiha the curse seal." _Orochimaru thought angrily."_But how? Did they expect me? Now that I think about it Kabuto is gone too. Shit I'll have to call off the invasion._ Orochimaru then glared at his former teacher _"Ill get you next time old- man!" _He thought before leaving the Arena claiming he had felt sick.

**Gold trophy unlocked!: Preventing the Invasion!**

**Team 7 respect + 20,000(Now ALL members of team 7 will be on good terms with the villagers allowing ninja-goods to be sold at a cheaper price!)**

**BGM Unlocked: Sadness and Sorrow.( Players can now listen to different Background music.)**

**Hidden Character: Unlocked!: Sarutobi Hiruzen**

As Naruto stood up he couldn't help but smirk at the fact that he saved his pseudo-grandfather. He would have to be sure that he celebrated with his team at an all you can eat Ramen extravaganza at Ichirakus.

After,of course, Sasuki calms down.

**~Zaku Abume VS Shino Aburame~**

**-Skip fight-**

"Winner Shino!" Hayate said while the Konoha Genin cheered.

**~Misumi Tsurugi VS Kankuro~**

**-skip fight-**

"*cough* Winner Kankuro!"

**~Sakura Haruno VS Ino Yamanaka~**

"This should be interesting" Asuma said while glancing at Kakashi" those two have been rival ever since the academy who do you think will win?"

Kakashi Just burst out laughing along with Naruto, Sasuki, And Sakura, as she was walking down the stairs, causing Asuma and Ino to glare at them. Ino then turned to face her rival as they looked at each other and put on a cocky smirk.

"Begin!" Hayate yelled

"I hope you're ready for this forehead because I'm not going easy on you." Ino told her rival with a smug voice as Sakura started to put on her gloves before lunging at the blonde at a surprising speed.

"**Cherry Blossom Impact!"** Sakura yelled why taking a punch at her former friend.

*BOOM*

"HOLY SHIT SHE ACTUALLY DID IT!" Kakashi yelled frantically while looking through the dust hoping to find the blonde Genin alive.

"Damnit Sakura! Don't kill our allies!" Naruto yelled while Sasuki was frantically searching everywhere for Ino as the rest of the ninja's looked on in horror.

"Don't worry I didn't kill the noob." Sakura said as everyone gave a sigh in relief that the medics found her.

"….Holy shit… er I mean Winner Sakura!" Hayate yelled while trying to keep his composure. Sakura smirked while walking up the stairs back to her team.

"What have you been teaching your students Kakashi?" Kurenai asked in fear as Kakashi looked at Naruto, who gave him a nod allowing him to gain some street cred.

"Well you know.. I'm just that pro of a teacher." He eye-smiled at her while opening up his book.

**~Tenten Vs Temari~**

**-skip to end-**

Before Tenten could hit the ground she was caught by our favorite blonde who gave a smirk to Temari.

"Now now no need to cripple the poor girl after you've won." He chided at Temari before looking down at the blushing kunoichi in his arms." Hey how would you like to be my 8th wife?" he asked her making her blush increase ten-fold.

" WHO THE FUCK ARE YOUR 6th AND 7th? DAMNIT!" Sasuki yelled at Naruto who turned and gave her a confused look.

"Anko and Temari of course." He replied causing Kurenai and Temari to facefault and causing Hiruzen to drop his pipe.

"What the hell? When did that happen? I didn't agree to this!" Temari yelled at her apparent fiancé who looked at her with an amused expression.

"We both know you will though." He said causing Sasuki to facefault and making Temari gape at the fact she that in some way that it would happen.

Even if they invaded Konoha.

**~Shikamaru Nara Vs Kin Tsuchi~**

**-Skip fight-**

"Damn…" Naruto started before getting an idea. "Sasuki! Train her to be pro so that she can be number 9."

Unfortunately for our favorite blonde he forgot that today Sasuki had very dangerous mood swings and so it comes to nobody's surprise that he got a chakra enforced kick to the balls by his self-proclaimed 2nd wife.

"Damnit Naruto you can't fuck everything that moves! Show some restraint!" Sasuki yelled at Naruto, who was about to about to say that _they_ didn't even have sex yet but he decided against it and nodded his head.

Oh great he's learning how's that for character development?

**Kiba Inuzuka Vs Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze**

"Oh great we lucked out huh Akamaru?" Kiba said to his puppy before Team 7 broke put laughing causing him and his sensei to get angry.

"And just what's so funny?" Kurenai asked while glaring at the copy –nin who was looking at her in amazement.

"Did you _really_ not see my last two students fight?" Kakashi asked incredulously as she turned away from him in annoyance.

"Ready to get beat dobe?" Kiba sneered at Naruto who gave him the most deadpan stare anyone has ever given _ANYBODY._

"Dude I'm going to kick your ass so bad not even my English dub counterpart would be able to _believe it." _Naruto said while Sakura looked at him in astonishment.

"Dude that was _Cold_." That had to be the worst insult she ever heard from her blonde teammate.

"If you two are ready BEGIN!" Hayate yelled.

"Let's go Aka-" Kiba suddenly looked around to find himself eating an all too familiar dinner with his mother and sister."What happened?" Kiba asked in a panicked voice.

**~Back in the arena~**

"What just happened?" Hayate yelled while looking at the unconscious body of Kiba while Naruto looked bored out of his mind.

"I just knocked him into last week he'll be back tomarrow." Naruto said while walking up to the balcony.

**Bronze trophy unlocked: Top Dog**

**Character unlocked:Kiba Inuzuka**

"..Don't say a word Kakashi." Kurenai almost growled at Kakashi who just looked away innocently.

"W-W-W- Winner! Naruto!" Hayate yelled.

**~Hinata Hyuuga Vs Neji Hyuuga~**

" Begin!"

**~On the balcony~**

"It's over.." Naruto said while looking at Hinata with pride.

"What do you mean? Don't just doubt my student because you think your stro-"Kurenai was cut off by Naruto who looked at her like she was crazy.

"No I meant it was over for _Neji_ you're not a seal master so you didn't see what I saw" Naruto told her while turning his head back to the match.

"Whatever do you mean Naruto-kun?" Lee asked the blonde in confusion and Tenten and Gai looked just as confused.

"Rock lee right?" Naruto asked as the spandex hero nodded his head "Just shut up and watch"

**~In the Arena~**

"Give up Hinata-_sama_" Neji said with venom."Fate has already decided that I would **" **Neji yelled in agony as the pain in his forehead erupted with a fierceness that he's never experienced before.

"Pathetic." Hinata said coldly while holding her hands in the ram sign.

"You coward you used the **Caged Bird seal** on me?" Neji hissed as Hinata chuckled darkly before tossing him a mirror.

"What's this for?" He hissed at her to which she just pointed to her forehead. Getting the hint Neji took off his headband in order to look at his seal and what he saw surprised him. Instead of a green seal with and "X" in the middle there was a blue one with an "O" in the middle. It was then that he noticed Hinata had a matching purple seal on her right hand.

"I got rid of your seal and added my own. You always kept _bitching_ about your fate, so I decided to do you a favor."Hinata said with a cold smile."You're no longer _Fate's_ bitch you're _my_ bitch now." She began to chuckle at his surprised face. "You see the only one that can use and remove that seal is _me._"

"WHEN DID YOU DO THIS!" Neji yelled frantically as he saw fate being basically destroyed right in front of him. Hinata then turned to him with wide-eyes and answered him innocently.

"When you were sleeping of course." She giggled " Now goto sleep noob tomorrow I'm going to work you like a dog until you get all of that fate shit out of your head and then _maybe_ ill remove your seal, but I don't know you and the main-branch have been being a bunch of noobs to me." She finished while putting her hands into a ram seal, and made Neji pass out from the pain.

"…..Hokage-sama do I have to let this _demon_ pass?" Hayate asked while his new found fear of the girl was preventing him from even _coughing_ in her prescence. The Hokage looked at him before sadly nodding.

" Damnit winner Hinata Hyuuga." Hayate said while stepping back from the girl.

**~On the balcony~**

"Oh my God…" kurenai whispered as she saw her pseudo-daughter walk up the stairs with a cheerful smile while everyone looked at her in fear.

Except Naruto

Every turned to where they heard sobbing and found Naruto crying hard and using Sasuki as support to stand up.

"Are you okay?" Sasuki asked him, her mood swings away for now, while looking at her teammate in concern.

"It's just soo… beautiful…*sniff* the ascension of noob to pro..*sob* it always gets me.." He responded before she punched him in the kidney and threw him off of her.

**~ Rock Lee vs Gaara~**

**-skip to Rock Lee opening gates-**

"_This green one.. he's strong… I'm not sure if I can beat him without giving myself to my demon" _Gaara thought sadly as he realized he might have to break his promise to someone important to him.

His first friend

**-Flash Back 3****rd**** day of waiting for prelims to start-**

"Hey Gaara! How are you feeling?" Sakura asked him as he turned to look at her in surprise.

"I feel.. better, but weaker at the same time..if I am ever in a life or death situation I might have to give myself to the demon so I won't lose."

"Nonsense! Like my friend Haku always says if you have someone precious to you, only then can you become truly strong!" She told him while giving him a smile while he scoffed

"I have nobody precious to me." He told her coldly."No friends and my family is scared of me!" he continued while feeling his anger rise. Why couldn't she get it?

"I'm your friend! And I'm sure you're family still loves you! Don't you get it you noob? It's YOU who's pushing everyone away! The demon is sealed, now, so you can't blame anyone else but yourself!" Sakura yelled at Gaara before walking up and smacking him. His eyes grew wide at the unfamiliar feeling.

"I see…"He said softly while Sakura was giving him a look of pure disbelief.

"_Holy shit the __**Therapy Jutsu **__works? I thought for sure I was going to have to fight him after I smacked him. Looks like Naruto was right…again" _Sakura thought incredulously.

"Hey.. if you want I can get you a BGM.." Sakura started as Gaara looked at her in confusion. "Well if you ask me, while precious people are indeed nice having your own beat to fight to can give you the motivation that you need!" She cheered while pulling out Nin-Pod™ "Here use this and play track 4 if you're ever in danger. You're not alone anymore so promise me you won't let Shuukaku win!" And then Gaara looked at her with something in his eyes not unlike the will of the fire and nodded.

"I promise."

**~Flash Back End!~**

"_That's it!"_

Suddenly Gaara stood up and pulled out a pink rectangular object and plugged headphones into his ears while everybody looked at him in confusion.

**~on balcony~**

"Hey…"Naruto started while looking at sakura

"Isn't that your.." Sasuki continued while copying Naruto

Sakura just nodded in pride while looking at Gaara with tears filling her eyes.

**~Back in Arena~**

Gaara found track 4 and pressed Play while Lee charged at him.

(**BGM: Insert Eddie Rath: Gaara the Sand Assassin)**

What followed was an ass kicking so immense that it was beyond the writer's ability to convey the epicness through his vocabulary alone.

**~ three minutes later~**

Hayate dug himself from underneath the sand and announced the winner.

"Winner *cough* Sabaku No Gaara." He stated while coughing up more sand.

Everyone in the arena was just looking at the Sand Shinobi in astonishment as he got up and walked towards the balcony where he was glomped by a happy Sakura much to the surprise of his siblings.

**~Chouji Akimichi vs Dosu Kinuta~**

**-Skip fight**

"Winner Dosu!" Hayate declared

**~Skip 25 minutes~**

Round 1: Hinata Hyuuga vs Shino Aburame

Round 2: Sabaku no Gaara Vs Sakura Haruno

Round 3: Shikamaru Nara Vs Sabaku no Temari

Round 4: Sabaku no Kankuro Vs Dosu Kinuta

Round 5: Naruto Uzumaki –Namikaze Vs Sasuki Uzumaki-Namikaze

"**You're fucked." **Akane told her host matter of factly. Naruto almost facefaulted.

"_Oh and why is that?"_ Naruto asked his tenant-with-benefits who shrugged.

"**Knowing your luck with hormonal women and the fact that the finals is a **_**month**_** away. I just thought it was the logical conclusion."** Akane told Naruto who went pale.

" Oh Fu-

**Platinum trophy unlocked: Passing the Prelims**

**Alternate level unlocked!: Complete Finals!**

**+20,000,000 Ryou**

**Continue to Part 3 of the Chunin Exam arc? **_Yes!_

**AN: okay…. This is my longest chapter lol I wanted this done today. Also don't worry about the op-ness of team 7.. well the Genin of team7 the fights will be more balanced when I begin the shippuuden levels. Read and Review**

**Lol this shit writes itself I had no plan for this chapter AT ALL.**

**Kin will NOT be in harem I have plans for her.**

**-Yawn- now I'm going to sleep.**


	9. Unlimited Sand Release!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I do own a Klondike bar you'll get one if you review.**

**(Hidden reference in this chapter is: Fate/Stay Night try to find it)**

**(Spell check sucks ass)**

Chapter 9: Unlimited Sand Release!

Two figures lay unmoving on the ground being covered with rain. There was complete and utter silence besides the sobs of the spectators. Finally one of the figures spoke with a feminine voice that was obviously holding back tears.

"Why..?" The other figure winced before steeling his resolve to answer the question.

"Because..I"

**~Flash Back Day after preliminaries~**

We find our hero sitting on top of the fourth Hokage's head while watching the sun set. He turned around when he saw his party member walk up behind him with her bangs covering her eyes. Curiously he looked at her before asking her what was the matter.

"I figured it out..."She chuckled darkly. "…how to get back to my male form" She continued as she saw his eyes grow wide.

"How –"He was cut off as she answered him.

"I have to end the game." She smirked as she walked closer to him as his eyes grew wide.

"H-H-How do you plan to do that." He asked in fear as her smile grew more vicious.

"Just by gettting a "**Game Over**" that's all." She told him innocently.

"THIS IS MADNESS!" Naruto yelled at her.

"Madness…no.. THIS IS PLOT CONVIENCE!" She yelled before kicking him off the monument far enough where he'd be unable to cling to the surface of the mountain. At the bottom of the Mountain a broken Naruto groaned in pain.

**Player 2 has left the party.**

"**Shit just got real."**Akane commented to Naruto.

**~With Sasuki~**

"That wouldn't be enough to kill him… I need to get more power." She murmured to herself nefore summoning a hawk and jumping on it." Orochimaru here I come."

**~1 week later~**

We find our blond Hero training rigorously at training ground 7 while Sakura looked at him in concern.

"DAMNIT!" Naruto roared as he broke the training post." Why did she leave I thought you helped her come to terms with her predicament?" Naruto asked his pink-haired teammate who looked at him in pity.

"I did and I highly doubt her gender is the _real_ reason she tried to kill you."

"Then why-"he was cut off.

"Think about it. It has to be something so embarrassing that her pride forced her to blame it on something else." She tried giving him a hint.

"You know something don't you?" It was more of a statement rather than a question. Sakura just began to giggle at his denseness.

"That would be telling." She said in a teasing voice before leaving the training ground and a confused as fuck Naruto.

**~The next day~**

Naruto was now looking at the Toad sennin in complete amusement.

"Damnit brat! How the hell are you this strong?" Naruto just laughed at him while he picked himself up off the forest floor.

"Simple noob-sennin(Jiraiya twitched) I'm just that fucking awesome." Naruto answered him in complete seriousness.

"But you already know _everything_ I could have taught you... what the hell you need my help for? Jiraiya asked his godson.

"Simple because you are a somewhat decent seal master, not as good as me of course(Jiraiya twitched again), I was going to ask for your help in making a seal that would be able to copy something I saw in a video game once." Naruto explained to him.

"Kid life is _not_ a game, and what exactly are trying to accomplish?" Jiraiya asked not completely understanding the amused grin on his God-son's face.

"Tell me have you ever played **Call of Nindo**?" Naruto asked innocently as Jiraiya got a grim look on his face.

"Yea, but the noobs online cheat too damn much! What does that game have to do with this?"

"Simple Noob-Sennin we are going to make a **perk" **He told his godfather whose eyes grew wide at the prospect.

"That would mean we would have to make a seal that would basically tell reality to go fuck itself!" He yelled at his student who looked unimpressed.

"True but the fourth did it and you're his _TEACHER._ Also I am his son AND an Uzumaki to top it all off! We were destined to do this!" Naruto yelled at his hysterical teacher.

"Why are you trying so hard?" Jiraiya couldn't help but ask.

"Simple… I have to save my homie… she's going down a dark path and she's alone and confused!" Naruto stated with determination as Jiraiya gained a smirk and pulled out a note-pad.

"_Sure _ your _homie_ right." Jiraiya said sarcastically as Naruto looked at him with a bewildered expression.

"Sure we joke around a lot, but I know better than to actually try to go out with her. There is NO way that she would like a dude and-"He was caught off as he began to remember what Sakura told him while Akane snickered.

"_**FINALLY**_** got it huh?"** Akane couldn't help but ask Naruto who went rigid.

"_Why didn't anyone tell me damnit! I'm a male not a fucking mind reader!"_ Naruto thought frantically as Akane shook her head at his stupidity.

Naruto you're preaching to the choir about the mindreading thing.

"Oh my God.." Naruto couldn't help but whisper.

**~Meanwhile in Oto~**

"So _Sasuki_ you've decided to come to me for power?" Orochimaru asked as she began to smirk "_Finally the sharingan is MINE!"_

"Something like that…" Sasuki began as she powered up a **Chidori** "…but I really just wanted a sword." Orochimaru went pale as she ran at him.

**~Fastforward Day of Finals!~**

**-end of Hinata's match~**

"…Hinata.. how could you do that to a teammate!" Kurenai asked her harshly as Hinata looked at her with a confused expression.

"Nobody said I couldn't use bug spray as a ninja weapon." Hinata stated while turning her head toward the Aburame clan who were glaring at her. She then gave a predatory grin as she looked at them and gave the bottle a test spray causing them to look away immediately.

**~In the Hyuuga section~**

"Daddy…big sis scares me now." A young Hanabi told her father who looked at her with a solemn expression.

"I know she scares me too." he started before he broke down in tears while Neji comforted him.

"Don't worry Hinata-sama is merciful she freed the branch-family and Main house from fate. So take your headband off and wear her mark with pride!" Neji yelled encouragingly to his uncle who cried harder.

**~Back in the Arena~**

**Sakura Haruno Vs Sabaku no Gaara Begin!**

"I hope you're ready Gaara! I am not going to go easy on you just because you're hot!" Sakura yelled at Gaara who looked at her in amusement.

"Alright lets go then… just because you gave me my life back does not mean I'll go easy on you!" Gaara yelled at Sakura as the _real_ Kazekage's eyes grew wide.

**~10 minutes later~**

Gaara now stood panting on a hill of sand looking around at the sand covered arena. His body was stabbed everywhere with kunai and he was losing blood fast. He looked up at his opponent who was standing on the arena wall on the opposite side of the stadium.

"What was that!" he couldn't help but ask as Sakura looked down at him amused expression on her face.

"That was what team 7 would call…a **Special**." She said to him before jumping down and walking toward the barely conscious Gaara. Before she could get too close, however his body erupted in a blue light causing her to step back.

"_What is this a __**special?**__...No… this is… he can't be!_"Sakura thought in fear. "_HE'S AWAKENING!"_

**(Insert Fate/Stay Night ost: Emiya**_**)**_

"_What the FUCK!... Is his awakening so powerful that it unlocks BGM's from other UNIVERSES?"_ She thought in wide eyed horror.

**-In the competitor box-**

"_Fuck I recognize this song, but how is Gaara's awakening this strong… it's HAX!" _Naruto thought frantically before yelling at his teammate. "DAMNIT SAKURA GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! HE CAN'T CONTROL IT!"

**~On the field~**

Hearing her teammate's yell Sakura tried to move, but she was paralyzed by something she hasn't felt since before she joined team 7.

Fear

Gaara then began to raise his hands and chant.

_I am the bone of my gourd_

_Earth is my body and Wind is my blood…_

_I have created over a trillion grains_

_Aware of loss, but unaware of gain_

_So as I finish...Unlimited Sand release!_

"**SAND IMPERIAL FUNERAL!"**

What followed could only be described as pure epicness. The shockwaves from the attack made people in the stands fall out of their seats as the Kazekage looked at his son's power in amazement, because he knew… that wasn't the demon…

…That was all him.

Suddenly Gaara started searching around in fear that he killed his best friend. He fell to his knees after he realized that he couldn't find her.

"_Damnit! When Shuukaku doesn't kill someone I do!"_He thought as tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Holy shit!" A familiar voice called causing his heart to skip a beat." Damn I thought I was fucked, good job Gaara!" He turned to see Sakura standing with one of her arms missing. The site made his heart break.

"_Well fuck.. I'll have to have Naruto fix this when I get back to the stands_, _if_ _Naruto didn't unlock that_ _defense bonus after Sasuki beat his ass I probably would have died _she thought with a sweatdrop."_What's wrong with Gaara..oh."_

"I'm sorry ."He said while looking at the ground before getting punched into the other side of the wall by Sakura who looked at him amused.

"About what? Even with one arm I still kick ass. Besides it's just a flesh wound." She stated while he looked at her in shock before he began to chuckle and pull himself out of the wall.

"Proctor I forfeit I can't be Kazekage if I'm dead." He told Genma while smiling a real smile for what seemed the first time in a long time. His Siblings and Father looked at him in shock as he started to limp back to the competitors' box with a smiling Sakura behind him. While this was going on Temari looked at her brother with tears filled eyes

"_Team 7...huh…Thank you."_

**Platinum trophy unlocked: Saving a Demon (Must defeat Gaara without player 1 taking damage"**

**Ryou+ 40,000,000**

**Hidden BGM:Unlocked:Emiya**

**Character Unlocked: Yondaime Kazekage(Must show him that his son still has a heart)**

**Avatar unlocked: Sand-release Naruto**

**Bingo book listing Available: Rank A: Insert Name? **_Yes!_

**What is name?**__**(**Naruto looked at Sakura before smirking)

**Tank**

**AN) Yay I'm done with the first part of the finals. Expect the last part later, but for now CAN I PLEASE get some reviews? I mean I am happy about the fact I have more positive reviews than I do chapters(Shows I'm not completely sucking) but I only got like 3(I think that many) reviews for chapter 8 T_T.**

**If you found Fate/stay Night reference great your now officialy 1337 **

**If you didn't or don't even know what the fuck fate/stay night is look Archer Unlimited Blade Works on youtube and or google. (personally id recommend just watching the damn movie)and re-read the chapter.**

**Next chapter will be my First real battle scene in this fic and I hope it's better than the one I had in my other fic.**

**Rebukex7**


	10. Clash! Sasuki Vs Naruto

**Diclaimer: Kishimoto:I own Naruto Not Rebukex7**

**(Well it's here the conclusion to the Chunin exam arc. I apologize for future spelling and grammar issues. This is the first fight scene in this fic.)**

Chapter 10: Clash! Sasuki Vs Naruto!

**~In competitors' Box~**

We now find Naruto looking over a tired Sakura's arm while the rest of the contestants looked at her in concern.

*_SNAP*_

_Heal all injuries? Check_

_*SNAP*_

"Thanks Naruto." Sakura said while Naruto just nodded and began to look at the cloudy sky with a grimace on his face."Don't worry; you will save her before it's too late." She tried to reassure her friend while he continued to look out at the sky.

"Don't you remember back when Naruko first came and she jumped at Sasuki?" At her nod he continued."That means that not even a pro like her could stop Sasuki before it was too late… I'm not sure if I can win…"

*SMACK*

Everybody looked at Naruto in concern as he was just back-handed into a wall by his pissed off teammate.

"Why.." He began before getting cut off as Sakura began to yell at him.

"Damnit Naruto! You can't give up because you _think _that you will fail and that all evidence points to that fact." Sakura yelled while trembling."If there was _ANYTHING_ good about you back in the academy it was that you didn't _think _at all you just did it and _eventually _you'd succeed!" Naruto was looking at her with wide-eyes.

"But what if I fail?" Naruto asked her while standing up.

"You won't, now stop acting like a noob and get ready to begin planning how to win against her." Sakura told him with a smile as Naruto nodded and determination.

"Don't worry Sakura I will win! Also one more thing…" Naruto started as she looked at him confused.

"What?"

"Call me a noob again and I'm beating your ass." He told her in complete seriousness.

**Hidden Trophy unlocked: Rekindling the Fire (Player 1 must remember what it means to be a pro)**

**Hidden Skill: Unlocked: Helping Hand (Assist Characters can now help without being summoned**

**BGM: Unlocked: Naruto Main Theme**

**~In the Arena~**

**Shikamaru Nara VS Sabaku no Temari**

**-Skip fight-**

"Seriously kid you have the _longest _match in the tournament, and you _quit." _Genma asked Shikamaru in annoyance.

"It was too troublesome"

"But! You just _wasted_ 2 hours of our _lives_ that's like the most asshole thing I can think of!" Genma yelled at the Nara before screaming and lunging at the kid who fell asleep when he was ranting.

"You son of a bi- " Genma had to be held back by Anbu as he was struggling to throttle the brat in front of him while everyone else in the stadium sweat dropped.

**~ 20 minutes later~**

**Sabaku no Kankuro Vs Dosu Kinuta**

**~in the Competitors box~**

"What are you two doing?" Kiba asked as Naruto and Sakura sat down and pulled out a deck of cards. They looked at each other before laughing.

"Do you even _care_ about either person in this fight?" Naruto asked him as he looked thoughtful before asking to be dealt in.

Along with everyone else in hearing range.

**-Skip fight-**

"Winner… does anybody even give a _fuck_." Genma asked while everybody shook their heads.

"I'll just give to the kid with a bigger fan base. Winner Kankuro!" Genma yelled while Dosu looked outraged.

"But I-"

"**Nobody gives a fuck!"** The stadium yelled at the poor boy that turned around and left whimpering about dumbass villagers and little screen time.

**~In competitors box~**

"Well it's time I go down I'll be facing the second hardest boss in the game now." Naruto told Sakura who nodded and wished him luck before crying after he left the room. Gaara looked at his friend in concern.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently

"He's not coming back…" Sakura told him as everybody around them grew pale.

**~With the Jounin~**

"You know despite what I say those kids really grow on you. This is really a damn shame." Kakashi said while _closing _his book.

"WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN MY ETERNAL RIVAL?" Guess who.

"What he means…" Everyone turned to Jiraiya who walked toward them." Is that today he loses a student _forever." _He continued with a solemn tone.

"Surely you're joking." Kurenai asked the sennin skeptically.

"Nope. What Naruto did was unforgivable. It doesn't matter if it was an accident and ended up being for the greater good. To _Sasuki_ Naruto stole away her life." Jiraiya finished as he leaned against the rail to watch the upcoming bloodbath while all of the men in the room nodded sadly.

Hey if you lost your junk you'd be pissed too.

**~In the Arena~**

Naruto walked into the arena as Sasuki appeared in a **Flame shunshin** and looked at him while activating her **Eternal Mangekyou** -**Sharingan. **Naruto, who stopped walking when she appeared, activated his **Golden Fox cloak **amazing all those who saw it for the first time.

"**Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze Vs. Sasuki Uchiha(**Naruto winced at the loss of his name)** Begin!"**

***CRACK***

Everybody turned to the site of a giant purple suit of armor surrounding a grinning Sasuki who was holding her stomach as Naruto was caught in the hands of the giant.

"**Susasnoo** should be strong enough to hold even _you_ in that form. Nice punch though, but if you aimed at my face you probably would have ended this fight. Such a noob mistake, and I can _guarantee_ you that that was the only chance you were going to get." Sasuki told Naruto who glared at her before responding.

"These hands cannot hold me forever and you know it!" Naruto yelled at her while slowly pushing the hands apart.

"They won't have to." She told him calmly while powering up a **Chidori** and lunging at him and piercing him through his torso." Nice move right there you made me miss your heart." She told him while pushing her hand through his back." But, I came prepared, look around you didn't think it started to storm for no reason did you? Such a noob mistake." And too Naruto's growing horror instead of the **Chidori** dying down, the lightning continued to shoot out of his back and into the stormy sky.

"You're serious about this aren't you?" He asked her while grunting in pain before calming himself as she stepped back to get more cover from **Susanoo** while pulling her hand out.

"_Dead _serious… now die with the thunder clap **Kirin"** she said as the lightning beast fell from the sky hitting both her and Naruto as the light blinded the audience.

**Sasuki social link: BROKEN: 0/10**

**~With the Genin~**

"Holy Shit! What the hell did Naruto do to piss her off _that_ much?" Kiba yelled while taking cover from the blast. While Sakura began sobbing at the thought of her team being destroyed after everything they've been through.

"Hey come with us you kids are going to go next to your Jounin sensei's for protection. You guys are too close to this fight." Jiraiya told the assembled Genin while disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

**~In the arena~**

"So you managed to enter **Sage Mode **before being hit smart move." Sasuki drawled while **Susanoo **disappeared. Naruto began to stand up as his wound's healed, and began to get on all fours and formed a giant **Rasengan** on his back.

"_I can't use any of my stronger attacks without a chance of killing the audience, and by that look on her face she knows this or else she wouldn't be so damn confident while fighting me." _Naruto thought before sending a chakra arm from his stomach and grabbing her with it. "**Rasengan Vacuum!" ** He yelled while dragging her towards the ball of chakra on his back as she began to…

…Smirk?

"_Shit!" _Naruto yelled as he couldn't flash away before Sasuki pinned him to the ground with Kusanagi."_When the hell did she get that!"_

"**Amaterasu"** Sasuki whispered before engulfing Naruto in the black flame.

"_That will not be enough to kill him, but it should be enough to get rid of that damn cloak…Wait he's been too quiet… oh shit!"_ Sasuki thought frantically before looking Naruto in his eyes.

**~With the Jounin~**

"Oh my God…" Sakura whispered as she and the rest of the Genin landed next to the Jounin. She could only watch in horror as Naruto was baptized by the black flame.

"Sakura! I thought Naruto was the strongest out of you three what happened?" Kakashi asked Sakura who looked down and grit her teeth in frustration.

"He is, but if any of his attacks miss someone innocent _will_ die! Naruto is fighting with a handicap and Sasuki knows it!"She told her sensei who shook his head.

"She had his planned out… She must _really _miss her junk." Kakashi said as he continued to watch the fight.

"Why isn't the Hokage stopping this?" Kurenai whispered as she watched the fight in morbid fascination.

"My guess is that Naruto used a cheat to stop anyone from interfering with the fight." Sakura thought aloud as everyone looked at her in confusion.

~**In Naruto's Mindescape~**

"**Naruto quick you have to transform in to my demon fox form!"** Akane yelled at Naruto who nodded before he was suddenly kicked away from Akane by Sasuki.

"I won't let you!" Sasuki yelled before turning toward Akane with a sad expression." So your Akane huh?

"**Yeah"**

"You really are beautiful."Sasuki said as Akane's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry." Sasuki whispered before making Akane fall asleep with her **Eternal Mangekyou-Sharingan**.

**~In Arena~**

Naruto was slowly standing up after his **Golden Fox Cloak** was burned away by the black flames as they disappeared with his chakra.

"Looks like I have no choice I'll have to cheat" Naruto soon found that he couldn't move his right hand. "wha-?"

"**Chidori Senbon" **Sasuki told him with a smirk. "Can't have you cheating your way out of this one."

"How long have you been planning this?" Naruto asked in morbid fascination at how he was getting stopped at every move he made.

"Since you left me alone for _days_ while I was stuck in a body that wasn't my own experiencing my first period while you went off to have some damn _Coffee. _Even though it doesn't matter maybe you'd be glad to know that I'm on my 2nd one right now._"_She told him with a sneer as his eyes grew wide.

"_Holy shit Akane was right!"_Naruto thought in pure disbelief at his bad-luck with hormonal women. "But-"

"No more talk _DOBE_ this ends now!" Sasuki yelled while performing hand-signs "**Fire release: Grand Fireball Jutsu!"**Naruto could do nothing but close his eyes with a smile as he was hit directly by the giant fireball.

**~In the stands~**

"..It's over." Sakura thought with a sad smile."_Well since this is game over I might as well get this over with since I won't remember ANY of this in a few minutes _Sakura thought sadly as she approached Gaara and gave him the biggest and first kiss he has ever gotten. Kakashi, seeing this, went over to the stands were the civilians were and pulled down his mask.

"_I regret NOTHING!" _ Was his final thought before being swarmed by fan-girls. Nobody paid attention to the smirking Jiraiya.

"_It's just how you said it would be Naruto now stand up and show them what a pro truly is!"_

**~Kage box~**

"_Naruto… I'm sorry that I've failed you."_Hiruzen thought the cliché line with a tear rolling down his face.

~**In Arena~**

**Perk: Activated: Last Stand**

_Naruto Hp: 1/9999 Chakra: Infinite(See chapter 1)_

_Sasuki Hp: 2500/3000 Chakra : 200/ 70,000_

Sasuki's eyes grew wide as she saw Naruto limp out of the fire with a smirk on his face.

"How are you still alive!" She yelled at him in pure outrage.

"Because I have something worth fighting for." He told her with a smirk.

"Oh and what _pathetic _reason would that be?"

"You." He stated as she took a step back.

"Wha-"But she was cut off as he continued.

Finally she was cut off for once!

"And I do not plan to lose you." He finished before gathering as much chakra into his left hand as possible which was more than Sasuki had in her entire body.

**(Insert: Naruto ost: Naruto's Main Theme)**

"_I can't afford to miss this, but it'll be almost impossible to use this attack without my father or Jiraiya" _Naruto thoughtbefore a transparent image of Naruko stood beside him with her right hand over his left.

"_Yo! Looked like you need some help-ttebane"_ Naruko told him with a smirk causing him and everyone else who was still paying attention to the fight to jaw drop.

"Hell yea, but one thing." Naruto started while she looked at him curiously

"_What?"_

"We're totally going to get sued and for that scene from Dragon Ball Z that were ripping off right now aren't we?

"_Yup"_

"Damnit." he complained as he formed a **Rasengan** and combined it with a **Rasengan** that Naruko created, thus forming a vortex of unstable chakra in in his left hand.

"_I can't help out that long without you officially summoning me so DON'T MISS"_Naruko told her fellow blonde before disappearing .

"Let's end this Sasuki!" Naruto yelled while holding the **Super Rasengan** as Sasuki converted the rest of chakra into electricity and covered Kusanagi with it.

"Let's…"Sasuki said with a determined expression.

"SASUKI!"

"NARUTO!"

**~In the stands~**

"SAKURA!" Sakura yelled while everyone looked at her funny as she looked down embarrassed. "I hate being left out..."

**~In Arena~**

***BOOM***

**~Flash Back End~**

**(Ost: End)**

Two figures lay unmoving on the ground being covered with rain. There was complete and utter silence besides the sobs of the spectators. Finally one of the figures spoke with a feminine voice that was obviously holding back tears.

"Why..?" The other figure winced before steeling his resolve to answer the question.

"Because...I love you." Damn it was hard for him to say that.

**~In an alternate universe where everything was less epic~**

"ACHOO"

"Bless you Hinata-sama"

"Thank you Neji-nii"

**~Back in Arena~**

"But I'm a bo-"

"Nope you are 100 percent woman… _MY_ woman, and if you ever put that yaoi image in my head again I'm kicking your ass." Naruto told Sasuki in complete seriousness as she chuckled.

"Sorry." She said looking sad.

"Meh don't worry about it, although I have a strange feeling Sakura is going to kick our asses."Naruto said as Sasuki held his hand as she finally figured out where she belonged in the world, and for what seemed like an eternity they watched the clouds. As the sun shined on them she only had one thought.

"_Everything is going to be alright."_

**Player 2 Joined the Party**

**Sasuki social link: Fixed: 10/10 MAX**

**Platinum trophy unlocked: Rescuing the Raven**

**Avatar unlocked: Sharingan Naruto: Unlocked!**

**BGM: Unlocked: Eddie Rath: By My Side**

**Bingo Book listing: Unlocked: A-class: Name? (**Naruto smiled contently**)**

**Ravager**

**Chunin Exam Arc: END**

**Finding Tsunade arc begin? **_Yes!_

**AN: That's that do not forget to review. Not that many references in this chap if any. Have a good day.**

**I Made NONE of the moves up they are either from manga or filler.**

**Rebukex7**


	11. Queen of the Sharingan

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!**

**(You know what I'm going to apologize for already!)**

Chapter 11: Queen of the Sharingan!

Two weeks after the Chunin exams we find team 7 laying in a hotel room waiting for the upcoming boss battle that Sasuki has been waiting for years happen.

_Opponent: Itachi Uchiha_

_Stats: 50,000 Hp 80,000 Chakra_

_Abilities: Fire Jutsu, Amaterasu, Tsukiyomi, Susanoo, Genjutsu Mastery_

_Opponent: Kisame_

_Stats:60,000 Hp 50,000 Chakra(Pre transformation)_

_Abiliteis:Water Jutsu, Kenjutsu Mastery, Samehada fusion_

_Advise: Survive until Jiraiya arrives._

"You know this says A LOT about our luck. I mean our first Chunin mission and it's already S-class. Not ONLY are we retrieving the next Hokage, but we're fighting TWO S-class ninjas." Sakura said while twitching at her team's lack of normal missions.

"Yea but look at it this way this is going to be funny as fuck." Sasuki said with a smirk.

*Knock knock*

"Operation: Itachi mind fuck Go!" Naruto yelled while opening the door as Sakura lit up in a blazing blue flame. Kisame couldn't even swing his sword before he and Sakura disappeared leaving a gapping Itachi all alone.

"What the hell…"Itachi whispered in a disturbed voice before notice the sharingan eyes on the raven haired…_Female? "What the hell did I miss one?"_ Itachi thought before the girl in front of him snarled and activated her **Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan** causing Itachi to actually take a step back. "_What the FUCK!"_

"It's time I got revenge on you for taking the last Klondike bar after putting me in **Tsukiyomi.**" Sasuki told her brother as his eyes widened in shock.

"S-S-Sasuke? What happened why are you in a female henge and how the hell did you get those eyes! I'm pretty sure my Sharingan eyes are still in my head." Itachi stated while idly wondering if he was still knocked out after the Akatsuki's party last night.

Let it be known that even though Itachi looked after his brother when he was a baby he _NEVER_ changed Sasuke, so he never saw him naked. When Sasuki told Naruto this he began to plan the biggest prank ever on his future brother-in-law.

" Tsk Tsk Itachi how could you not know that your "Foolish little brother" was actually your "Foolish little _sister_"? Haven't you ever seen her naked? I know I have." Naruto told Itachi with a smirk while side stepping a slap from an irate Sasuki for his embarrassing lie.

"W-w-wha-" Itachi couldn't complete his sentence as his calm Uchiha façade finally broke and he stood trembling with wide eyes…that began to water?

"Why did you tell him that?" Sasuki yelled at Naruto who looked at her in amusement.

"Cuz it was funny and you _KNOW _you wished that it had actually happened." Naruto told Sasuki who began to pout.

Let it be known that Itachi was never one to let his emotions cloud his judgment, but seeing as everything that he thought was reality was being ripped down to shreds. Not only had his _brother _not run at him in a blind rage for killing their family, but had instead prepared to fight him over some damn _icecream._ We also can't forget the fact that _Sasuke_ wasn't his _brother_ at all! That changed EVERYTHING, but when he saw his _sister _actually fucking pout something snapped in Itachi something that could either be later confirmed as his sanity or a seal placed on him by his mother. Suddenly Itachi stopped trembling and then launched at Sasuki and doing something that would make Naruto and Sasuki question everything they thought was right in the world.

"KYAAAA you're so damn CUTE!" came the _feminine_ squeal of the older Uchiha as Naruto's eyes grew wide and Sasuki actually deactivated her sharingan in shock.

"**Everything I knew is a lie."**Strangely that came from Akane who decided to go back to sleep after witnessing the biggest mind fuck in history.

**~5 minutes later~**

*****Thump*****

That would be Kisame's body hitting the floor as Sakura looked at everyone in confusion.

"Yo you're finally back huh? What took so long?" Naruto asked Sakura who shrugged.

"I actually came back around three times, but you guys looked like you were having a moment so I kept using my special". Sakura explained before kicking Kisame in the ribs.

Kisame just bled a little.

"Huh, how about that? Grab his sword and put it in the key items scroll I'll equip it to Killer Bee later." Naruto said before turning to the _two_ raven haired female in front of him." Now are you going to explain why you are now suddenly a female?" Naruto asked Itachi who scratched _her_ head sheepishly.

"Well you see it was part of a plan created by my mother to show my dad that women could be a good clan head ,so she had the fourth create a seal to hide my gender after I was born so my father wouldn't get suspicious." Itachi explained while Naruto shook his head.

"_Damnit dad… you crazy son of a bitch!"_

_**~Mean while in the plane of deceased characters~**_

"GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" One extremely pissed of Fugaku yelled at Minato who was flashing around like his life depended on it.

"Damnit Kushina help me out I can't keep doing this for 3 more years!" Minato yelled at his wife who looked at him skeptically while drinking tea with Mikoto.

"True, but you applied the seal so take it like a man honey!" Kushina yelled to her husband as he dodged _another_ fireball.

"I didn't even MAKE it! It was a seal made by _your_ crazy ass family!" Minato yelled as Kushina shrugged.

"Whatever you still used it." Kushina stated matter of factly before turning to her bestfriend." Men they are so troublesome." Mikoto nodded in agreement.

"But still I wish I was still down there! I have two daughters now!... It would have been so much fun!" Mikoto exclaimed to Kushina who looked at her sadly.

"Don't worry knowing my son's luck he'll figure something out… even if it is by accident." Kushina said cheering up her best friend.

*BOOM*

"Hah you can't dodge everything huh? You yellow BASTARD!"

**~With team 7~**

*Thump*

That was Sakura who just fainted on top of Kisame

Kisame just bled a little more.

"*Sigh* Oh well now to the important stuff." Naruto said while looking at the ceiling confusing Itachi as Sasuki nodded her head in understanding.

**Hmm oh right **(Naruto twitched while Itachi looked scared)

**Hidden trophy : Unlocked: Queen of the Sharingan**

**Hidden BGM: Unlocked: Eddie Rath: Itachi Mangekyou in the Eyes**

**Hidden character: Unlocked: FemItachi**

**Hidden Item: Unlocked: Arashi's Ring (One out of three objects that once put together will awaken the secret of defeating Madara. Each object is nearly impossible to find and only found by sheer dumbass luck.)**

**Platinum Trophy: Unlocked: Roasting a Fish**

**+500,000,000 ryou**

**Water Shark Jutsu: Learned!**

"Who the fuck was that!" Itachi yelled while Naruto ignored her and looked at the purple ring in his hand.

"_Hmm this must be important but I need the other two object to figure out what to do with it_." Naruto thought before putting it in his key items scroll."_Amazing so rare that not even my _Action Replay_ could give me the item after I used the unlock all key items cheat."_ Naruto thought in amazement.

**AN: Ya I know it was short BUT this story has only about 2-4 more chapters to go before I move to disc 2. Read and Review**

**AN2 FemItachi happened because I got a few messages asking me to pull it off (It helped that I had no idea what the fuck to use him for later)**

**Shout out to "MrNeedsToRemoveAllFavs "for that very helpful and insightful review.**

**Itachi is last character that will have a surprise sex change. Also the no trap cheat didn't work on him because of the seal.**


	12. Chatting with the Slug

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto if I did I wouldn't have left chapter 549 with such a bitch ass cliff hanger.**

**(Apologize if spell check sux)**

Chapter 12: Chatting with the Slug

**~Four Days Later Tanzaku Town~**

We now find Team7 plus two were now sitting in a restaurant in front of a skeptical Tsunade and her confused assistant.

"So let me get this straight. You honestly expect me to become Hokage after everything I've lost?" Tsunade asked her former teammate as Jiraiya nodded and as Naruto smirked.

"_Shit Naruto's smirking. He must have foreseen this and came up with a plan to get Tsunade to agree."_Sasuki thought impressed before frowning._"Why do I feel like his plan is going to piss me off?"_

"No the title of Hokage is for fools." Tsunade scoffed before returning to her drink hwile Naruto laughed.

"Normally I would disagree but after seeing how batshit insane my father is compared to what the text books say, I agree with you." Naruto told her as her eyes widened in realization.

"You're Minato's brat aren't you?" At his nod she continued." Funny compared to him you seem a little…sane."

"Sane my a-"

"SASUKI!" Itachi chided her little sister "Don't use such language in front of your elders!"

"But you know he's _MORE _batshit insane than his father." Sasuki complained to her sister as everybody in the room looked at them in amusement while Naruto sulked in a corner.

"I highly doubt it." Itachi said dryly. "I remember one time I heard our mother talking to him after he finished the very battle that made him famous."

**~Flash Back~**

"So let me get this straight Kushina hid all of your clothes after you spilt her Ramen, so you _ACTUALLY_ went in to battle BUTT ASS NAKED while concealing yourself in a **henge?"** Mikoto asked incredulously as Minato smirked and Kushina facepalmed.

"I had given him some other clothes to wear but he said no." Kushina told her friend while huffing.

"Like I was going to wear a neon pink spandex suit with a cape that had _YOUR_ face on the back!" Minato yelled while Mikoto held back a laugh as Kushina glared at him.

"But if anyone had noticed the **henge** and broke it everyone would have seen you standing with "Propertyy of Kushina Uzumaki" tattooed on your –"Kushina was cut off as her husband tackled her and Mikoto broke out laughing. Nobody noticed the young Itachi walk back to her room with a shell shocked expression on her face.

**~Flash Back End~**

Everybody at the table looked at Itachi mortified. Hell even Jiraiya was jaw dropping at the tale before he came to a realization.

"So that's why Mikoto always smirked at him when somebody called him the "Yellow Flash"" Jiraiya stated before Sakura looked at a Naruto with a smirk.

"Hey Akane you got your furry ass handed to you by a _flasher?"_ Sakura asked with a teasing grin as Naruto had to hold his head in pain at all of the curses Akane was yelling at Sakura.

"Damnit Sakura! I am so going to get you back for this headache!" Naruto yelled at her.

"Anyway what is this a reunion? I was approached by Orochimaru earlier as well." Tsunade asked ignoring the strange argument that just happened as Naruto looked at her in confusion?

"What the hell? He shouldn't have had his arms damaged why would he come after you?" Suddenly Tsunade looked at him in confusion.

"Arm? Is that what you men call it now? He came to me because junk was destroyed." Tsunade told Naruto who got pale and looked at Sasuki in horror as she suddenly found the floor to be the most interesting thing shed ever seen.

"Son of a bitch…damnit Sasuki what did you do?" Naruto asked as Sasuki bit her lip.

"Well…"

**~Flash Back~**

" …but really I just wanted a sword." Orochimaru went pale as she lunged at him. Orochimaru tried to jump over her, but her superior speed caused her **Chidori** to miss his chest and hit his _snake_. Orochimaru passed out from the pain as Sasuki had her eyes wide in shock. His foaming at the mouth caused Kusanagi to rise from his throat. Grimacing Sasuki pulled the blade out. "Well that ended badly...for him.

**~Flash Back End~**

Everybody looked at her in horror as she finished her tale.

"Damnit Sasuki! Couldn't you have just killed him? What monster takes a away a guys dick and makes him live with-" Naruto shut up as his team gave him a pointed look as he turned around sheepishly before opening his book and began to look at Tsunade as she sent him a questioning glance.

"What are you staring at kid?" She asked rudely.

"I want you to be our 5th Hokage"

"Nope."

"How about my 10th future wife?" He asked seriously as she looked at him as if he lost is damn mind while Sasuki grit her teeth.

"Damnit Naruto ignoring the fact that _None_ of the other women agreed except maybe Anko-"

"But they will." Naruto cut her off in complete seriousness as she had to resist the urge to destroy him right then and there.

"BUT…" She continued ignoring him. "You don't have a 9th one yet!" She yelled at him hysterically as he chuckled.

"But of course I do I'm not a noob I can count."

"Then who is it? Because I'm sure as hell I don't know them."

"Oh but you do." Naruto told her as she began feel a sense of dread.

"Son of a bitch… who?" Sasuki asked praying to every God she could think of that it wasn't who she expected as everybody else looked on in confusion. Then Naruto chuckled evilly and pointed

Right

At

Itachi

"SON OF A BITCH!" Sasuki yelled while everbody else widened their eyes as Itachi took a step back.

"Um no I'm not." Itachi told the blonde kid with complete seriousness before he smirked at her.

"Oh really? Not only do you recognize my pro skills, but I gave you your family back, cured your illness, and just given you an opportunity to be closer with your _precious little sister. _Also I'm rich as fuck!_"_ Naruto told her innocently as her eyes got wider at every point.

" Damnit…" Itachi murmured dejectedly as she realized the kid in front of her would probably be the best male she could find as Sasuki started to rock in a corner with a cloud above her head.

"He just gets one girl after another." Sasuki repeated that while poking the ground.

"Is she going to be okay?" Tsunade asked in concern as Naruto nodded his head.

"Yea she gets's like this every now and then when she questions everything around her." Naruto told her before looking at her. "Why won't you say yes?"

"Because I don't want to be Hokage." She told him with a glare.

"I meant about being my wife."

"Because I don't know you." She told him seriously.

"You can learn." Naruto said seriously.

"Because I'm 50 and your 12?" Tsunade tried again.

"What if you were 20? " Naruto said while concealing a grin as Sakura caught on and had to stuff her face with food to stop from laughing.

"Pssh if that happened I'd come be your Hokage too." Tsunade said with a laugh while ignoring the warning signs Jiraiya was giving her.

"Swear on your nindo?" Now here she stopped because as a Sannin she took promises on her nindo _very_ seriously, but the sake she was drinking was clouding her judgment and her instinct that _would_ be telling her to get the fuck out of there. So she decided to play his game.

"Sure kid whatever." She said to the horror of Jiraiya and Shizune who noticed how Jiraiya was trying to get her mistress to shut the fuck up.

Naruto just grinned wider as Sasuki continued her mental breakdown and Sakura burst out laughing.

*SNAP*

_Age Mod: Tsunade: 20 years check!_

*SNAP*

**~ Two Days Later~**

"Son of a bitch…" Tsunade said for the thousandth time since the night at the restaurant as everybody else continued their walk back to Konoha.

"Don't worry honey because when we get back to Konoha I-" Naruto was successfully cock blocked by the 3rd Sannin that appeared before them holding a…Vienna Sasuage? In a Zip-lock bag with ice.

"There you are Tsunade I DEMAND THAT YOU HEAL ME NOW!"Came the high pitch squeal of Orochimaru. Suddenly everyone stopped as he felt an amazing killer intent coming from the blonde demon-brat.

"**YOU FUCKER**!" Was the battle cry of Naruto as he jumped into the sky.

A lot of things happened that day. Jiraiya found a new God, Itachi got turned on for the first time in _years_, but the most important would have to be that Tsunade lost her fear of blood… or any type of gore really.

**Orochimaru DEFEATED**

**Platinum trophy: Unlocked: Death of a Hebi-Teme**

**Character's: Unlocked: Sound for choose 1(**Naruto thought about it before...)

**Tayuya**(Sasuki twitched)

**(Tayuya will be available once re-entering Konoha. Player 1 will be able to decide what to do with her then.)**

**Gold Trophy: Unlocked: Resurrecting the Queen of Slugs**

**Character: Unlocked: Tsunade**

**Avatar:Unlocked: Super Medic Naruto**

"What the hell was that?" Tsunade and Shizune asked in unison but everyone ignored them. Itachi then turned to Naruto and gave him the longest Kiss he's ever gotten before she released him and wiped some saliva off of her lip. Everybody looked at her in surprise before she began to speak.

"When we get back I'll treat you to some _Coffee."_ She told him before turning to a fuming Sasuki." Don't worry foolish little sister you _WILL _ be coming as well think of it as some sisterly bonding time." Itachi said seriously as Sasuki and everybody else gapped while Naruto passed out. "I'll be sure to teach you some interesting things that can be done with Genjutsu."

**AN: well that's that. This was originally going to be part of the previous chapter BUT I couldn't think of a title so I broke it up and revised it a little to make it fit. Read and review plox.**

**AN2: I recently was asked a good question after I said no more sex changes. This question really is a matter of opinion so here it is.**

**Should the no-trap cheat work on Deidara? Poll is on my page**


	13. Empress of the Sharingan

**Disclaimer: I haven't owned Naruto since I lost it at the poker game.**

**(Insert spell check warning.)**

Chapter 13: Empress of the Sharingan

**(AN: Kishi FINALLY named the Naruto's new for so instead of "Golden Fox Cloak" it'll be named "Nine-Tails Chakra Mode")**

**Hidden event: Unlocked:? (Must have more than 40 reviews. Will be revealed at end of disc 1)**

**~In Naruto's Apartment~**

We now find our blonde hero in bed with a raven haired beauty in each arm after what must have felt like _weeks_ of the best sex ever.

"_Its official __**Tsukiyomi**__ is my new favorite jutsu."_ Naruto thought contently as Akane nodded her head."

"**You're telling me, thanks to those eyes I wasn't even left out!"** Akane cheered while Naruto chuckled. "**But we will have to burn your mind-scape later."** Naruto just chuckled and leaned back until…

*POOF*

**~In Naruko's Universe~**

A now confused as fuck Naruto, standing in only his frog boxers, was now standing next to a panting Naruko as she was standing in her **Nine-Tails Chakra Mode**. Idly Naruto wondered why the fuck he suddenly wanted to do whatever dumbass task Naruko asked, but that was a story for another time. Naruko then looked at her fellow blonde with a raised eyebrow.

"Why are you in your underwear?" Naruko asked curiously as Naruto shrugged.

"I just finished having the best sex ever." He stated while causing her eyes to widen in horror.

"I didn't cock block you did I?" She asked while getting in a fighting stance as Naruto chuckled.

"Nah I finished when you summoned me." That caused Naruko to relax her stance. "Seriously why did you call me here?" Naruto asked her as she looked around quickly before spotting something on a hill.

"There she is!" Naruko said with a growl Naruto curiously looked on top of the hill and there he saw it. Possibly one of the hottest raven haired women he has ever laid his eyes upon. Even if she had a weird mask on.

**(Insert BGM:Eddie Rath: Uchiha Madara)**

"HOLY SHIT! THAT'S _YOUR_ MADARA?" Naruto yelled while Naruko looked him confused.

"Yea so what?"

"Bull shit! My Madara is some dude with MPD that's probably 50 years old underneath his mask!" Naruto told her as she widened her eyes.

"What the hell? That's kind of disturbing dude." Naruko said while getting a mumbled "I know right?" from her blond companion.

"And what the fuck she has a body on par with _MY_ Tsunade or knowing this ass-backwards dimension _YOUR_ Jiraiya and yet she's wearing an Akatsuki robe _THAT_ lose?" Naruto yelled as Madara landed in front of them along with 5 other people.

"So you managed to destroy one of my six paths of pain, but it doesn't matter you'll die here so that my moon's eye plan will succeed." Madara told Naruko before noticing the boy in boxers next to the pig-tailed girl. "And _WHO_ are you?" She asked Naruto rudely as he got a grin on his face.

"_Oh man I've always wanted to do this!"_ Naruto thought with glee as Akane rolled her eyes in her cage Knowing what was coming next.

**(Insert BGM: Naruto Shippuuden Ost: Heaven Shaking Event)**

"I come from a land where noobs control the planet as pros become an endangered species! I fight for all those who are 1337 and repressed in this cruel world! I am the great toad sage that makes even Jiraiya kneel in recognition! By my friends I am known as the Pimp master sage! But beyond all of that I am a badass motherfucker. I AM NAMIKAZE-UZUMAKI NARUTO!" Naruto yelled while performing the Jiraiya pose as everybody looked at him like he was batshit insane.

**(End BGM)**

"O..K" Madara said honestly confused as fuck for once in her life before turning back to Naruko with a sneer." It is time that we end this!" She yelled while her and her 5 _female_ paths of pain started to attack Naruko. The fight went on for 5 more minutes as Naruko idly wondered where the hell her back up was before both she and Madara stopped fighting as they smelled…ramen? They both turned to the sight of Naruto eating ramen with a wide-eyed expression and a bloody nose while there was a tent in his pants causing them to give him "What the Fuck" looks.

"Hey I'm sorry but you gotta admit 6 hot females fighting is kinda hot." Naruto told them as he finished his 6th bowl.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing you perverted little bastard!" Madara yelled in righteous fury as Naruko wondered if this was part of a plan or if Naruto was really that blantly stupid as fuck.

"I _THINK _I'm watching a catfight" Naruto said seriously as Madara fumed.

"I can _SEE_ that but WHY! This is a fight to the _death_ the future of the world is at stake!" Madara yelled while trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Let it be known that Madara has a bit of a dungeon master complex, so when something that she can't control happens she tends to flip the fuck out sometimes.

"Geez why are you such a prude? Why can't you-" Naruto cut himself off as he finally figured something out. Naruko looked at him confusion while standing next to Madara, previous fight completely forgotten at the moment.

"What?" Naruko asked confused by the pitying look on her fellow blonde's face as he looked back at her with…disappointment? What the hell?

"*Sigh* Naruko you are supposed to be more pro than ME! How could you not notice this?" Naruto asked Naruko who gasped in shock as he yelled at her.

"What are you two _idiots_ talking about?" Madara asked rudely while crossing her arms. Suddenly Naruko looked at her with a wide-eyed expression before walking toward her and…bowing? "_What the fuck?"_

"I am so sorry I couldn't tell before please forgive me!" Naruko begged her.

"_Is she crying? What the hell is going on!"_ Madara though while looking around in condusion.

"It seems that _YOU_ haven't noticed yourself so I'll break it down for you." Naruto said while somehow the news that she didn't know what was happening made Naruko cry harder.

"I'M SO SORRY!" Naruko yelled as she lunged at Madara and began to hug her.

"SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!" Madara yelled finally having enough as Naruko looked at her again with those _damn_ pitying eyes of hers.

"Ok I will. How long has it been since you fought with the 1st Hokage?" Naruto said while Madara looked at him in confusion

"120 years why?"

"How long had you went into hiding away without any human contact?"

"50 years I still don't see the poi-"

"What did you so the other 70 years?" Naruto cut her off

"Make plans for revenge and world domination of course."

"Exactly."

"What?" Madara asked confused as Naruto shook his head sadly.

"I'll just tell you now, you are sexually frustrated." Naruto told her bluntly as Naruko fell to the ground in tears. Madara however looked shocked as fuck.

"What? That's preposterous I've never even _had_ sex! How can I be frustrated?" Madara yelled while Naruto and Naruko looked at her in horror. Naruko began tremble slightly.

**~Flash back wave arc~**

As Naruto and Naruko woke up on the forest floor the morning after Naruto's episode with Inari. Naruko looked at Naruto in awe.

"Words can't describe how awesome that was." Naruko told Naruto as he chuckled.

"Akane still has much to teach me but maybe I can show you something she showed me I can do with **Chakra Claws"** Naruto stated while advancing on a grinning Naruko. Nobody noticed the passed out Haku a few feet behind them.

**~Flash Back End~**

"You're a 140 year old _virgin_." Naruto asked in morbid fascination as Madara "hn'd" and turned away.

"So?" Madara asked rudely.

"No wonder you're such a stuck-up bitch. " Naruko said bluntly while wiping away tears. Madara looked at her scandalized.

"Excuse me!" Madara yelled.

"It's not your fault." Naruto started as he walked closer to Madara as she took a step back.

**(Insert BGM: Naruto shippuuden Ost: Experienced many Battles)**

"You trained until you went blind in order to lead your clan into glory. You didn't give up on your dream even after your noob-ass clan abandoned you after unlocking another stage of power. You had only ONE bijuu yet you still almost beat the first Hokage who had the other EIGHT. You are more pro than anyone else on this planet, hell the rikuddou sennin is probably the only one more pro than you." Naruto stated before pulling off Madara's Mask revealing a stunned Uchiha matriarch as a smiling Naruko stood next to her.

**(BGM:END Insert BGM: Marvin Gaye: Let's get it On)**

"You know me and Naruto recently found out that we have the same favorite drink." Naruko said innocently." And we were wondering if you wanted to try it?" Madara looked at her confused.

"What is it?"

"_Coffee"_

**~Two hours later~**

Two voices rang out through the sky one was masculine the other was feminine. They spoke in perfect unison.

_**Platinum Trophy: Unlocked: Preventing an Apocalypse**___

_**Avatars Unlocked: Hokage Naruko Hokage Naruto**_

_**Hidden Character: Unlocked: FemMadara Uchiha**_

_**Hidden Trophy: Unlocked: Satisfying a Legend**_

_**Hidden Item : Unlocked: Arashi's Sword**_

_**Game: Naruko:End.**_

**~One day Later~**

"..And that's why Tayuya would be my 12th wife and not my 11th" Naruto told a room full of shell shocked shinobi as the new HoKage dropped her pen. While Sasuki just stared at him in morbid fascination before speaking.

"First me then my sister now my ANCESTOR? Are you TRYING to fuck the entire Uchiha clan? What the hell is there a trophy or something? Is that ehyy you're doing this." Sasuki Yelled while shaking Naruto frantically.

There was but she did not need to know that right now.

*Thump*

That was Itachi who just gave up trying to comprehend life whle Jiraiya walked up and kneeled before Naruto.

"I am not worthy." Jiraiya told his godson in complete seriousness.

"Damn straight you aren't but the REAL question is what are you going to do to my male counter-part I doubt you are going to have sex with him." Madara asked while looking at Naruto as he looked back at her with a deadpan expression.

'Put that yoai image in my head again and ill destroy you, but no I plan killing the Madara in this universe." Naruto said while pulling out a sword and ring."I have to find one more item of Arashi then I'll get the secret to defeating Madara." Suddenly Naruko's eyes got wide.

You got two of them? I only got this one!" Naruko yelled while pulling out an item shaped like an "L" and giving it to Naruto who almost dropped his items in shock.

**Naruto Has Obtained: Gun of Arashi**

**Player has aquired all three items proceed to secret boss through portal**

All three items began to glow. The sword in yellow, the ring in blue, and the gun in red before forming a pitch black portal at the side of the room and disappearing into it.

"Sasuki! Sakura! Get ready to come with me into the portal!" Naruto stated before looking around the room and making a decision."Tsunade you come too we need a medic because Sakura is going to be needed on the frontlines, you are player 4!" Naruto yelled before jumping into the spiraling darkness with Sasuki, Sakura, and Tsunade right behind him.

**THIS IS MY CLIFFHANGER!**

**AN: before you start saying" I thought you said no more sex-changes" STOP! Because the Madara that matters is still male. I just did something with Naruko's Madara.**

**AN2:I got a lot of good feedback from chapter twelve thank you trust me you will be rewarded!**

**AN3: read and review :D**

**This sentence is so I get two thousand words.**

.


	14. Melancholy of an OP OC

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. What were you expecting something?**

**(Warning:Spell check Sux ass. Also this chapter has the only OC in the entire plot and he will only appear in this chapter so don't worry.)**

Chapter 14: Melancholy of an OP OC

**~In the portal~**

We now see our party of four standing on a sky scraper of a modern city. It appears to night time and all is quiet except for the laughter of people during some kind of festival.

" W-w-Where are we?" Came the amazed voice of Sasuki as she and her party looked around at all of the lights that illuminated the sky.

"You're in Konoha… 25 years later." Came a calm voice as everyone quickly came face to face with… Naruto?

"Who are you and why do you look like me?" Naruto asked the 14 year old boy in front of him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Came the calm answer." But I'll tell you this I am NOT you." And he wasn't, taking a closer look Sasuki could see that the boy only had two whisker marks on each cheek. "You can call me Arashi." The boy said before raising his right hand.

*SNAP*

Suddenly the Gun, ring, and sword flew towards the boy and fused into his body confusing our heroes.

"I'm the secret boss." Arashi informed them making everyone get on edge as he walked towards them before stopping ten feet in front of Naruto. "Who else is better to teach you how to beat Madara than somebody who was born after he died? But the information won't be easy you'll have to defeat me. Go ahead check my stats with that little book there it won't help you either way." Arashi said calmly while putting both hands in side of the black trench coat he was wearing. Naruto opened the book hesitantly something just didn't feel right about the boy.

_Opponent : Arashi_

_Stats 99,999 HP Infinite Chakra_

_Abilities: Rasengan, Kage-Bunshin, Blade Mastery, Gun mastery, Seal mastery_

_Advise: None_

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at the kid in front of him warily.

"_This isn't right there isn't even a preferred strategy to fighting this kid. What's worse is that he's giving off an aura of a pro."_Naruto then glared."Why won't you tell us wouldn't it be better for you if we succeeded?" Sasuki then looked at him in concern.

"_What's with this Naruto seems very hesitant on fighting him...Something's not right."_ Her thoughts were mirrored by Sakura who gave her a knowing look before turning back to the scene in front of them. The kid just shook his head before speaking.

"Trust me I would, but it's against the rules of the game." Arashi's eyes then narrowed as he pulled his hands out of his pockets. "Now enough talk prepare…noobs." And with that Arashi jumped and disappeared in a blur of speed and reappeared behind team 7 with his fist in Tsunade's stomach as she passed out. "A pro always knows to take out the medic first." Arashi drawled. As Naruto jumped back with his team and got read for battle.

**(Insert BGM: eddie rath: War time)**

"Sakura stay back if he can take out Tsunade then he knows your fighting style too. Sasuki you supply far range support! I'm going in!" Naruto commanded before charging at Arashi who mirrored him and charged forward as well."

"**Red"** Arashi muttered before his hair turned Red and his eyes became red and slitted. He then gained two black desert eagles and jumped into the sky and began raining crimson bullets down on Naruto as three crimson tails of chakra burst out of his back. Naruto jumped away from the barrage of bullets before changing into his **Nine-Tails Chakra Mode** and began to flash away from each of the bullet sized chakra blasts.

"_Damn this kid is good I'll have to make sure to finish him as soon as possible." _Sasuki thought before she formed **Susanoo **and began to launch flaming arrows at Arashi.

"**Recoil"** Arashi stated before sending a powerful shot from his guns allowing him to dodge the arrows before landing in a crouch and speeding towards Sasuki. **"Blue"** Arashi muttered before his speed in creased ten-fold and his eyes and hair became bright blue. His guns disappeared and left hand had a ring form on the middle finger before his entire right hand lit on a blue flame as three blue chakra tails formed from his back dismissing the red ones. "**Seal" **Arashi uttered as he slammed his hand onSasuki's stomach causing her sharingan to disappear and her chakra to fade.

_Chakra:Sealed_

"What did you just do?" Sasuki asked as she fell to her knees as Arashi began walking towards the stunned Naruto and Sakura.

"In this form I can seal _ANYTHING_ and my speed is increased ten-fold" Arashi explained as Naruto's eyes widened in realization.

"let me guess you're older than you look and use that form to make your enemies underestimate you." Naruto guessed as Arashi shook his head.

"No I'm really fourteen" Arashi explained as everyone's eyes widened in shock.

"Then how are you so strong. Did you use cheats?" Naruto asked getting a shake of the head in response. "Then how?"

"You know how they say each generation surpasses the previous?" Arashi asked as Naruto nodded." Well that's actually true each kid my age is twice as strong as their parents at this age. But because of _MY_ parents I'm even stronger. The only ones on my level in my graduation year are my teammates." Arashi explained as team 7 widened their eyes.

"Bu-" Naruto was cut off.

"Enough talk noob. The you of this time would have defeated me by now." This caused Naruto's eyes to widen." But you are too weak. I'll tell you now you can't beat me and your cheats do not work in this time thanks to the fact that the game has ended in this timeline. The game from your time line is using me as part of it in order to assist you which is why you found my items." Arashi explained to the confused as hell Naruto." Now shut up and try to figure out how you can **stop** me. **Yellow"** Arashi finished as two golden katanas appeared floating next to him as his ring disappeared as his eyes turned yellow and his hair went back to normal.

"**Cherry blossom impact!" **Sakura yelled but to her horror her fist was stopped by one of the blades as the other one found its way through her stomach. _"How.."_ was her final thought before blacking out.

_-3000 HP_

"Increased defense. Too bad she wasn't prepared." Naruto the glared at the kid in front him as Sasuki could only watch her friend fall down unconscious in a puddle of blood. Naruto noticed the craters on the roof from wear the "Bullets" hit before coming to a conclusion.

"_Red is attack, Yellow is defense, and blue is speed with those three forms he is unstoppable, but it looks like he can only use them one at a time."_ Naruto then looked around and mentally cursed "Fuck_ I can't transform into Akane's fox form the area is too small! Fine I'll play it his way because unlike him I can use all THREE of his abilities at once."_Naruto thought before activating **Sage mode** on top of his **Nine-Tails Chakra Mode **

"Hmm you're learning… but you still cannot win…**Black**" Arashi drawled before summoning two shadow clones, each in a different color befor dispelling them. His hair went pitch black and NINE pitch black chakra tails shot out of his back, but instead of black slitted eyes Naruto came face to face with a pair of sky blue…

"…**Reningan" **Sasuki whispered in horror and then to further her shock a black katana floated behind him as his left hand lit in a black flame. She then noticed the black chakra gun in his right hand.

"I'll end this now noob. FEEL THE HAX OF THE NEXT GENERATION!" Arashi roared before appearing in front of a stunned Naruto.

"_Shit I let my guard down!"_ Naruto thought before Arashi called his next attack.

" **Kuroi: Arashi Barrage!" **Arashi yelled before Slamming his left hand into Naruto sealing his chakra and back flip kicking Naruto in the air where he preceded to shoot non lethal shots into his body sending him higher into the sky. Arashi then shot his blade up and through Naruto's stomach before disappearing in a black flash and reappearing behind him, where he sent him back to the ground with a low powered **Rasengan.**

*BOOM*

-_9000 HP Chakra:Sealed_

"_Damn he held back! I can't beat him!"_ Naruto thought before he looked up and noticed the barrel of the gun pointed at his face. "_Shit is this it?"_ Finally Akane had enough of Naruto not realizing how to beat this brat and yelled at her host- with- benefits.

"**Damnit Naruto! You're not strong enough yet to beat him, but you're not supposed to!"** Naruto's eyes widened at this."**See he hasn't killed you for a reason if you die HE DIES get it yet? You're supposed to fucking STOP him now quit acting like a scared noob and STOP HIM!"** Akane yelled as Naruto's eyes widened before he looked down in shame for not realizing how to beat Arashi sooner.

"Damnit.. heh.. looks like your old man really can act like a noob sometimes eh son? Now stop before I ground you." Naruto said with a chuckle as Sasuki's eyes widened.

"_What?"_ Sasuki stared in awe at what she was witnessing.

"Bout damn time thought you were going to make me destroy reality for a second." Arashi said with a chuckle while helping his father up.

"Yea yea you mind helping me heal my party and taking these damn seals off?" Naruto asked as Arashi smirked.

**~20 minutes later~**

**(BGM: END)**

"We don't have much time left so I'll get to the point. To beat Madara you have to prevent him from getting his powers from the beginning. That means stopping him from getting the **Reningan."** Arashi told his father who nodded before smirking.

"Hey we're about to disappear so do you mind answering some questions for me?" at Arashi's nod he continued. "Okay first one whose your mother?"

"I'm a Hanyou figure it out."

"Smartass." Naruto said with a chuckle as the rest of his party jaw dropped.

"How did you get your weapons?"

"Made them."

" How many siblings do you have?"

"A lot but I'm the oldest" at this Naruto's smile turned lecherous before glancing at Sasuki who had a feeling of dread.

"How many wives do I have?" Naruto asked as Arashi smirked and pulled out a photo.

"WHAT THE FUCK NARUTO!" Sasuki screamed at Naruto who smirked and high-fived Arashi.

"Take care of the future for me!" Naruto yelled at his son while he was disappearing.

"Only if you take care of the past-ttebayo!" Arashi yelled at his father who disappeared. Arashi sighed before turning around and coming face to face with the Hokage.

"So what's this I hear about you calling me a noob?" Arashi went pale and his screams could be heard for miles.

**Hidden trophy: Unlocked: Vital information**

**Ryou+ 600,000,000**

**BGM: Unlocked: Eddie Rath: War Time**

**~ Two weeks later~**

Team 7 minus Kakashi and plus Naruko and Madara stood in front of the gates of Konoha.

"You sure you guys have to do this?" Itachi asked her sister in concern as she smiled.

"Yea that battle made us realize that while we have power we don't have the experience to make it any good. So we will go on this trip to hone our skills." Sasuki told her sister who began to cry. "Don't worry sis we'll back soon." Sasuki said trying to comfort itachi.

"That's not it! It's just that I won't have a damn good cup of coffee for three fucking years!" Itachi yelled causing everyone to sweat drop.

"Well let's go." Naruto said after saying goodbye to all of his self proclaimed future wives that wouldn't be coming along with them except Temari, who he sent a messenger hawk to.

**Disk one: END**

**Disk two Begin? **_YES!_

**Hidden Gift for readers: If you have read until this chapter here is your gift!**

**The men get a night with either Kin or Kurenai**

**The Women get one with Kakashi (No mask of course)!**

**Till next time!**

**AN: and that's that *crys* it was fun now it's on to the Shippuuden levels which I should have first chapter up some time next week!( or sooner depending how I feel)**

**AN2: The poll will stay up until rescue Gaara arcs**

**AN3: ill make a 3****rd**** disc for the movies( I'm only going to used the movies that had a female lead!)**


	15. BONUS CONTENT

**Disclaimer: good thing I don't own Naruto or I probably would have forgotten the timeskip!**

**(Spell check fails and I fail for forgetting this sorry~)**

**BONUS CONTENT**

In a white room a man was sitting on a giant white chair asleep before suddenly jerking up. He appeared to be sixteen, and had white hair and white eyes. Suddenly he turned towards the screen and scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Sorry everybody, looks like I forgot the bonus content for disk 1. Don't worry it won't happen again!" The man yelled before he ran to his closet and began to throwing out a kyuubi plushie, a PS3, and a mug of coffee?" Here it is!" he yelled victoriously before coming back to the screen. "Sorry about that I had to find the sneak peak and hidden ending gifts. For those of you who haven't realized it yet I am Rebukex7!"

*CHEERS*

"And this" He continued while holding up a disk." Is part one of your bonus content!"

***Insert disc***

"_Well here we are back at Konoha time to get me my coffee!" Naruto yelled before getting hit by Sasuki_

*_Static*_

"_Dad you only got like four jutsus how the fuck did you become Hokage?" Naruto asked his father who smirked at him._

"_That's all I need"_

_*Static*_

_**(Insert:BGM : eddie rath: Black Shinobi)**_

"_Let's hurry this up yo! I got a fine girl to go turn into my –" Killer Bee was cut off by kick in the balls._

_*Static*_

"And IIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUU" Minato was cut off as his wife threw him out of the house.

***Take out disk***

"Hmm well what do you know the sneak peek disc was scratched…my bad." Our handsome and AMAZING crack writer said with a sheepish grin. "Oh well this one seems ok."

***Insert Hidden Ending Disc***

_Eleven years after the death of Madara there was a five kage summit that would change the future of the world as we know it._

_**~In meeting~**_

"_If we keep this up we will go into war again! There is no way we can have both the Shinobi system AND peace at the same time!" The Raikage yelled at Naruto who was smirking. "Peace AND ninjas? That's like an oxymoron or some bullshit!"_

"_Then Destroy it." Naruto said while the other kage's looked at him in shock. Smiling he pulled out a poster." And this is how we're going to do it." Standing up Naruto showed everybody his plan."_

_**Step one: Dismantle the Shinobi system completely in each great nation. And turn each Major Nation into a city.**_

_**Step two: Have the Academy teach the basics, and not history, while the clans train their children in everything else. Have retired ninjas train the orphans.**_

_**Step three: Have the new breed of Shinobi make their own "Companies" or "Guilds" to take missions they want and send 20% of the profit to the "Kage" of the city that sponsors them so that it can be used for the economy."**_

_**Step four: Have these new "Shinobi" sign forms that show not only are THEY solely responsible for what they do, but also in the unlikely event of war they MUST help out their home city.**_

_Everybody looked at the Rokudaime Hokage in awe as he finished his speech._

"_That's so batshit insane it might actually work…good job." Gaara said while the other kage's nodded their agreement._

"_But what will we call these Neo-Shinobi? As I can tell they won't even be taught of their origins or even wear a headband seeing how this plan is going." Naruto looked at the Raikage and grinned._

"_I thought of that as well." This caused everybody to wonder how long he had been planning this. What we'll do is give all of the "Neo-Shinobi" a tattoo with the village mark wherever they want as long as it is visible. The clans and retired ninja can teach them about heritage. And we'll call them…" Naruto started as everybody leaned in close._

…_Assassins." Naruto finished enjoying the wide eyed looks of everybody._

***Take out disc***

"And that's all you need to see for now as I'm sure you have some other fics you would rather be reading at the moment I hope you enjoyed the bonus content. I would love to tell you more, but my signature is coming up signaling the end of the chapter. Bye Bye" The boy said as he and the room disappeared from view.

**~RebukeX7**


	16. Return of Legends

**(Omg It's another chapter!)**

**(Disclaimer oh how I missed doing this I don't own Shit! If I did my story would be canon. I apologize for future spelling/grammar errors)**

Disc 2 : Chapter 16: Return of legends

We find three figures standing on a hill of sand about 5 miles away from the entrance of Sunagakure. **(AN: team 7 still wears canon outfits except Sasuki is missing the bow)** The center figure was about to continue walking before he was stopped by a sword to the neck courtesy of the figure to the right.

"_Naruto"_ The word was said with so much malice that the small desert creatures ran away in fright.

"Yes?" came the nervous reply of our protagonist.

"_Why _are we in the _fucking_ desert while Naruko and Madara get to go back to Konoha?" Sasuki all but snarled at her blonde idiot of a husband.

"Well I figured it would be too much if we just went and took down Akatsuki with two mistresses of the **Sharingan**, two Kyuubi Jinchurikki's, and a pink haired demon." Naruto said matter of factly as said demon twitched.

"Oh my god will you ever forgive me it was a fucking accident damnit!" Sakura yelled at her teammate as he glared at her.

"Bull shit and you know it!"

_~ Flash back 6 months into training trip~_

"Ugghh I'm too tired to move… Hey Sakura did you finish that new soldier pill you were working on?" Naruto asked as he and Naruko finished their daily spar.

"Yep! It works 200 times better than the originals did and they even have a good flavor!" Sakura said as she handed Naruto a pill.

"Thanks!" Naruto said in appreciation as he popped one in his mouth. Suddenly Madara looked at Sakura with a raised eyebrow.

"Normally I would not waste my time asking this because you have proven to me you are a great medic, but doesn't a lot of medicine have side effect that the consumer should know about before taking it?" Madara started to get worried when she noticed the sheepish look on Sakura's face.

"Well I was hoping Naruto could help me document them after he took it so I would know what to watch out for bu-"She was cut off by and ear piercing scream from our blond hero.

"**!"**

_~End flash back~_

"Anal bleeding, erectile dysfunction, explosive diarrhea, _Implosive _diarrhea, suicidal thoughts, loss of hair, and an allergic reaction to ramen for seventy-two hours." Sasuki listed as Naruto glared at Sakura.

"You got your chakra back right?" Sakura argued as Naruto had to be restrained by Sasuki from leaping onto her.

"Look on the bright-side the rewards from surviving that lets the party be immune to poisons now." Sasuki said to Naruto as he calmed down.

"Whatever lets go to Suna we can take care of the Rescue Gaara arc without having to wait for Tsunade to assign it." Naruto explained as he started walking towards the village entrance before suddenly stopping and turned to look at His team with a horrified look.

"What?" Sakura asked him while pausing the song on her Nin-pod touch ™

"We sent a female version of me and Madara fucking Uchiha back to Konoha" He whispered in horror as Sakura gained a confused look.

"So…?"

"They both are also my future brides…"

"And…."

"My parents are back since the Shippuuden levels are beginning" He continued as his team blanched.

_**AT KONOHA~**_

"Home sweet home eh Madara-chan?" Naruko asked her travelling partner as they entered the new Uzumaki clan-house that Naruto had Tsunade build much to the chagrin of the council.

"*Sigh* You are never going to stop with that insufferable name are you?" Madara asked despondently as they entered the living room. Before Naruko could answer she came face to face with a confused as hell Minato and Kushina.

"Umm who the hell are you?" Naruko asked as she began to form a **rasengan **in her hand. "And why are you in my house?"

"Your house? I was told this house was made for my son when he left on a to-year mission." Came Kushina's confused response as Naruko and Madara suddenly got a look of recognition.

"Ohhh so you are Naru-kun's parent?" At their nod Naruko continued "Well I am Naruko-Uzumaki-Namikaze. Naruto's 5th wife." Naruto told the Red-head as if she were speaking about the mother fucking weather.

Kushina jaw dropped as her husband seemed to have a look of envy and pride etched on to his face. Minato turned to the raven haired female who had a deer in the headlights expression.

"And you are..?"

"Madara Uzumaki-Namikaze the 11th wife." She nervously answered and began looking for the quickest exit at the wide-eyed expressions she was getting. "Sorry about the whole killing you and taking you away from your only child while attempting to destroy whole village with a demon I ripped from your wife who had just given birth thing… I was going through some issues"

Before Minato and Kushina could destroy the woman in front of her someone else came through the door.

"Hey cool you guys are back what do you want for dinner? Anko and Tsunade said we were going to a bar tonight but I'm not sure if we should if you two want to do something else." Itachi said while looking at the two people in her house. "Oh hey Aunt-kushi, Uncle-Mina…,or is it mom and dad now whatever, you wanna tag along?"

Finally it seemed that something had snapped in Kushina and Minato was sure that if she was still a Jinchuriki shed have an **8-Tailed Demon Fox Cloak **on right now with the amount of Ki that was filling the room.

"**NARUTOOOOOOOOO"**

_~With team 7~_

"**NARUTOOOOOOOOO"**

"Shit well they met some of the family." Naruto said as they began to enter the village of Sunagakure.

"I think we should have sat down to introduce them to Madara though… Oh well she'll live till we finish up hear I supposed." Sasuki said as Sakura began to shed some tears.

"Gaara-kun here I come! I won't let them get you!" Sakura yelled while running ahead of Naruto and entering the village leaving behind a wide-eyed party as she entered a foreign village illegally.

"Damn it Sakura! Shit stick to the plan." Naruto yelled to Sasuki who was still shocked.

"Oh my god… she just ran in…"Sasuki said as she watched her teammate punch a Jounin of Suna who tried to arrest her.

**Shippuuden:Gaara rescue arc Begin?: **_Yes!_

_~Training trip chronicles~(_**An: this is a separate thing they will not be on the end of every chapter it explains some things that happened off screen This may also be the single most serious point in the whole fucking story so the humor is off until next chapter.)**

_~5 days into training trip~_

"**Planetary Rasengan!"**

**-BOOM-**

**Platinum Trophy Unlocked: Rasengan Master (Must use over 12 different types of Rasengans)**

**Avatar unlocked: Perfect chakra control Naruto!**

"Sweet hey by the way sky dude what the fuck are you!" Naruto yelled at the clear blue sky that… _sighed" What the hell." _Suddenly the sky cracked open and a tanned boy that appeared to be 16 years old with spiky white hair, white eyes, and what seemed to be a type of white assassin armor appeared in front of him( Note just look at my damned profile pic lol)

"I am RebukeX7 and-"Our favorite white haired story teller was interrupted by the kid in front of him.

"Whats the X7 mean?"

"Fuck you that's what it means now don't interrupt me. We aren't even supposed to be talking right now so this will be the only time we meet." Rebuke said while his left eye twitched. "As I was saying I am the **GM**, master of games, and creator of all Life to Game techniques. I reward those who complete tasks I deem worthy and guide them along the way to total victory."

"What do you mean other techniques?" Naruto asked as Rebuke rubbed and hand through his hair.

"Look kid I'm not even supposed to be talking to you so I'll explain this as simple as possible." Rebuke answer before yawning. "Now not all universes use the same form of energy so I had to construct several different ways to use my reality to virtual ability. One example is **Bakudou X: life is a Game."** It does the same thing as your jutsu but it uses a type of Soul energy instead of your Chakra."

"But why are you doing this?" Naruto asked

"Kid some big shit is going to go down soon and ill need warriors to help me so you better get stronger. I can't do this by myself the enemies are things unlike anything you've ever imagined." Rebuke told Naruto as he pulled out what looked like a golden desert eagle and put the barrel to his head.

"Yo man what are you doing!" Naruto yelled as the teen pulled the trigger.

"_**Izanami"**_Rebuke whispered as what looked like a female version of him appeared. Rebuke glanced at her before speaking. "Take me back home." The figure nodded before he disappeared he looked back at Naruto." Keep training my future commander if you don't you will lose everything." Rebuke said as he disappeared leaving behind a blonde deep in thought.

"Heh looks like I have to try harder then eh Akane?"

"**Yes we will begin training how to effectively fight in my form tomorrow." **

"Just you wait Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto will not lose to some noobs that want to try to take anything from me.

**AN1: Ok that's it sorry for the delay but school is giving me too much work I had a paper to do in all my classes do 2 days later on the first fucking day back.**

**An2 : As you see I plan to do s a life is a game for a few more animes but unlike some authors I won't start the next part until I'm absolutely done with the previous animes this way I can give fans something to lighten their day a lil bit in an orderly fashion.**

**An3: Besides scenes like the previous one everything will be mainly crack that is loosely connected to a plot.**

**An4: if you caught the Easter egg for one of the animes I'm planning to write about you win 5 internets.**

**An5: If you ever played persona then you should understand what I'm about to say. My character will not be some OP Mary sue that kicks everyone's ass cuz he's just that awesome. No instead he will be strong, but he'll be nothing more than the "Igor" of the ENTIRE plot I have planned hell if he even gets a fight scene I'll be surprised. His only powers include summoning personae and being a kick as voice that gives protagonists stuff.**

**AN 6: Not sure on the update rate but I'll try my best! It will hopefully not take this long again (I'm really sorry about that)**

**AN 7: finally enjoy disc 2! And Please remember to review I won't be able to write without some kind of positive feedback.**

**~RebukeX7~**


	17. The Ultimate Plan

**Polls Say Deidara's a girl alright I can do something with this.**

**Disclaimer: I own Naruto**

**Kishi: Since when!**

**RebukeX7: Since you cut Sasuke out of chapter 554...Damn noob**

**(AN: I apologize for spell check being a noob and grammar fails that may occur)**

Chapter 17: The Ultimate Plan

After calming down a hysterical Sakura, Team 7 decided that now was a time to think of a plan for when Deidara decided to attack Suna. Naruto after 10 minutes of arguing finally had something to say.

"Fuck it I have a plan and I'm going to use it you two can go sightseeing or something ill handle this." Naruto said exasperated tired of his team not agreeing with any plan he made.

Fuck wasn't he the leader?

"Oh and what plan is this?" Sasuki asked with sarcasm clearly in her voice as Sakura looked at Naruto with a raised eyebrow. Suddenly she saw Naruto summon a clone and give it a three-pronged Kunai.

"The good kind and when it's done you two will never doubt me ever again." Naruto said with a smirk "Now let's go to a hotel we'll bother Gaara later." Naruto continued hiding the fact that Gaara got kidnapped tonight.

**~ 6 hours later~**

**-BOOM-**

"Heh all according to plan." Naruto said with a smirk while glancing at a chakra sealed and tied up Sasuki and Sakura who were both glaring at him.

**~hours later at the Hospital~**

"Give one reason why I should not murder you where you stand." Sakura asked her soon to be dead leader while holding him by his neck while charging chakra into her fist. Naruto just looked at her with a bored expression.

"One you need to heal Kankuro, two you couldn't beat me if I had 90% of my chakra sealed with one of my arms ripped off, and three-" Naruto was cut off by a yell down the hall.

"I'll get my revenge on you Konoha's White Fang!"

"-we have to save our noob-sensei™" Naruto said while walking off towards the direction of the battle cry.

**~In Kankuro's Room~**

We see Kakashi regaining his balance after almost being manhandled by a crazy old lady who confused him for his father. He turned to see his team enter the room.

"Ok Sakura do your medic thing while I go chat two future wife number seven." Naruto said before walking toward a wide eyed Temari, but before he could start shooting out pick-up lines he felt a hand clutch his shoulder. Before Naruto could nuke the cock-blocker he turned pale when he turned and saw a VERY familiar and VERY pissed of red-head.

"Oh Naru mind telling mama why Madara- fucking- Uchiha is now her daughter in law?" Kushina asked in an overly sweet tone. Before Naruto could scream however he cast a glare that would have made Batman himself piss his pants at the laughing Blond behind her.

**~ One ass-beating later~**

**Hidden Trophy Unlocked: Surviving Certain Death pt 2**

**+One life (One person in party can survive death once.**

**Hidden action unlocked: Auto Party (Add nearest person to party**

"HAHAHAH was _that_ part of your genius plan Naruto?" Sasuki asked while leaning on a laughing Minato for support. Naruto just coughed up some blood before smirking at his troll of a wife.

"Yes it was actually and it's time for phase two." While gesturing for Sakura to come on after healing Kankuro with the antidote he got from the key items scroll. Before he could exit he turned to the occupants of the room. "Ok Kakashi come on you are Player 4! Mom Dad you two are going to help from the side lines-Don't give me that look Dad I know you kick major ass with that hax jutsu of yours but I need Kakashi's eye."

**+ Kakashi Hatake Joined Party**

"Lets head out!"

"I'm coming too!" an elder voice yelled

"_All according to plan."_ Naruto thought evilly while Akane rolled her eyes in the seal.

"Wouldn't have it any other way Grandma Chiyo!" And with that Naruto and his party plus three leaped toward what would truly be known as the greatest plan EVER.

**~2 hours later~**

While running towards a clearing Naruto saw a figure that caused Naruto to let out a full blown smirk.

" _This couldn't be any more perfect" _Naruto thought barely holding in his excitement before yelling his next orders to the Kazekage Rescue Expedition™ "GUYS A member of Akatsuki is here to delay us Fall back behind me , but keep up a good pace I'll finish this one fast!"

"But Nar-"Sasuki was cut off

"No buts this is part of my plan!" Naruto roared before launching himself forward at the blue haired Kunoichi who began to prepare for battle "_Please work!"_ Naruto begged mentally before taking a deep breath and yelling. "YOU KIDNAP AND KILL THE LEADER OF A COUNTRY THAT HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG? IS THIS PEACE! WHAT WOULD JIRAIYA-SENSEI THINK?" And with that Naruto launched a familiar kunai at the shell shocked kunoichi before disappearing in a yellow flash and reappearing behind her with a rasengan in his right hand which he slammed into her face.

"What the hell Naruto!" Sasuki yelled at her husband as she watched the body of the female deteriorate into a dead cannon fodder. Naruto just turned to her with a hand raised signaling for her to stop.

"Wait for it…" Naruto muttered desperately as this was a crucial part of his plan.

**Therapy Jutsu: Hiraishin version….**

"Come on…" Naruto said even more desperate than before.

**SUCCESS**

"YES! FUCK YES!" Naruto yelled to the heavens before turning to his gawking expedition. "Come on we got to continue we can NOT slow down!"

"NARU-"Sasuki stopped when she realized Naruto began running again.

**~ 20 minutes later at Akatsuki's hideout~**

"OK were here" Naruto said before active his **Nine –Tails Chakra mode.**

"No fair I never got to use that…" Kushina almost whined at Naruto who looked at her with a deadpan expression.

"You had Akane chained down with a spiky chain and pierced through the stomach do you REALLY think you would get to use this form?" Naruto said while his mother turned away with a blush while his father went into a fetal position.

"Oh my god the chains... the CHAINS! The CANDLEWAX help me mommy help me!" Minato began to cry while everyone else gave him wtf looks while Kushina blushed harder.

"_My parents are psycho."_ Naruto thought before summoning four **Kage-Bunshin** and telling them to go take out the seals. The clones nodded before disappearing in a yellow flash. One minute later the seal on the entrance broke and Naruto turned to Sakura. "Sakura! I need a Leroy Jenkins entrance stat!" She nodded and ran towards the giant boulder blocking the entrance.

-**Boom-**

**Gold Trophy: Infiltrating Red Dawn**

**+900,000 ryou**

"_Ok this has to work…It should not have activated yet since I haven't seen him face to face yet." _Naruto thought while closing his eyes. With his eyes shut Naruto yelled his plan to Sakura and Kakashi.

"Sakura get the short ugly mother fucker out of here, and Kakashi use **Kamui **on the blond's Robe and ONLY the robe now!"

With that Sakura, now enveloped in a familiar blue flame launched at the Ugly…turtle…man...thing causing them to disappear from view. Kakashi pulled up his head band used his **Kamui** causing the blond's robe to disappear into an invisible vortex leaving the bomb using Akatsuki member in nothing but his boxers.

"What the hell did you do that for!" Deidara yelled angrily at the expedition while Naruto smirked.

"This" And with that Naruto opened his eyes causing Deidara get enveloped in a explosion causing the cave to disappear into a pile of rubble.

Naruto who had grabbed Gaara and flashed out of their while making clones to grab the others could only look at the destruction in shock "_This is what happens when a cheats power is delayed for 2 years? Holy shit!"_

"**What fucking cheat was delayed for 2 fucking years?"** Akane yelled shaken from her nap by the surprise explosion.

"_You'll see"_

Naruto looked at the rubble where a White bird flew out of the destruction and on top of it was a very attractive NAKED blond female.

"I KNEW IT YOU WERE A TRAP!" Naruto yelled at the disoriented Deidara.

"**Ok so you found out that the explosion fetishist was a trap now what are you going to do I mean she can still just nuke us all."** Akane reminded Naruto dryly.

"_Akane, my love, you just answered your own question."_ Naruto told his tenant with benefits while powering up the **Tailed- Beast Bomb Rasengan **causing his parents to pout.

"_No fucking fair."_ They both thought unknowingly at the same time.

"Hey Deidara how would you feel to be my 14th wife?" Naruto yelled while everyone looked at him in confusion.

"_That son of a BITCH" _Sasuki and ironically Kushina thought at the same time finally figuring out Naruto's "Master Plan"

"Why the FUCK would I do that?" Deidara yelled in disbelief "You just took away my dick, possible killed my sempai, and stripped me naked! Also I only like Huge explosions and those who make them and another thing you blonde BASTARD-"She was cut off as the ball of black in the flaming boys hands shot passed her.

-**BOOOM-**

~**In Iwa~**

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" the Tsuchikage cried as he fell off his kage tower. "MY BACK!"

**~Back with the expedition~**

Deidara slowly turned around to what used to be a forest which was now a giant lake that seemed to stretch for miles.

"What if I gave you a lake?" Naruto asked with a smirk as Deidara turned back to him with a red face.

"Hey...do you like coffee?"

"Of course"

"Great" But before she could rape our favorite blond she was stopped as Sasuki yelled at Naruto.

"What the FUCK? THIS was your master plan!" She yelled frustrated as Naruto chuckled.

**BGM: ACTIVATED: Naruto Shippuuden Opening 1: Heroes Come Back**

"OF course not mines not done yet you see I've also gained wife number 15 as well" Naruto Stated confusing the hell out of everyone present.

Hell even the Sky voice was shocked to silence

Suddenly in a swirl of Paper Konan appeared next to a smirking Naruto as Everyone jaw-dropped.

"I thought about what you said…and you're right Nagato won't see reason so...i'm joining you." Konan said before getting a red face" Also nobody has EVER hit me that hard even if it was a clone…" she trailed off as Naruto smirked some more.

It's always the quiet ones.

"Oh but it's not done yet my lovelies" Naruto told them while gesturing to where Chiyo was resurrecting Gaara, much to the recently returned Sakura's relief. "I've gotten Gaara completely Shuukaku free and…" Naruto trailed off while walking towards the tired Chiyo.

**Player 4: Kakashi has been kicked out of party**

**Auto Party: Chiyo has joined**

Naruto picked up the now slowly dying Chiyo with a small smile as she looked dup at him tiredly.

"You know from this distance even my bad eyes could tell why you have so many wives." Chiyo said with a chuckle before closing her eyes and entering her final sleep.

Or so she thought

**+1 Life use on player 4!**

Naruto then began to laugh evilly as Sasuki turned white

"You didn't…"

*_Snap_*

_Age Mod: Chiyo: 18 years old_

_*Snap*_

"Oh but I did" Naruto said while looking at the now shocked woman in his arms." Meet wife number 16"

'Damnit Naruto! WHAT THE HELL? HOW LONG DID YOU PLAN THIS?" Sasuki yelled hysterically at her husband looked at her innocently before setting Chiyo down.

"Please ask that when he plan is finished Sasuki-Chan" and with that Naruto disappeared in a yellow flash and reappearing with a confused as fuck Yugito " Don't tell me you forgot about the clone I made with the Kunai? You need to be observant _honey"_

Sasuki just collapsed on her knees muttering to herself as Naruto laughed for what seemed like hours.

Never again will she doubt his plans.

**AN: Don't fucking disagree when Naruto says he has a plan.**

**AN 2: After the feed back from my Fem Madara pairing and this fic's status as crack I attempted most unique pairings in once chapter of a harem fic**

**AN3: Read and review**

**AN4: where am I going to go from here? Find out next on Naruto: Life is a Game**

"**Life is a game. Win it"~RebukeX7( Not sure if someone has said this before so if they did sorry I had no fucking clue.)**


	18. Life is a Movie pt 1

**Dissclaimer: I gave Kishi the rights to Naruto back providing he doesn't fuck up again.**

**(Sorry bout grammar/spell check fail.)**

Chapter 18: Life is a MOVIE pt 1.

We find our favorite team heading up a dirt road to enter the temple of the priestess Shion.

**~ FlashBack~**

"You're an evil master mind." Kushina said in morbid fascination as everyone could only look at Yugito with a look of pure shock.

"You wound me, besides the plans not done yet." Naruto said while Sasuki finally screamed hysterically.

"Why are you doing this?" Sasuki screamed while shaking a smirking Naruto.

"Two reasons one because when I'm done with my plan you will never let me leave the bedroom again and two because I'm going to have my dream realized!" Naruto yelled the last part to the heavens.

"What does having 17 wives have to do with becoming Hokage? Don't lie to me Naruto I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about." Minato interrupted finally getting out his shock of his son getting more action than him.

"That's not my dream although it is a nice bonus…no my new dream is…" Naruto trailed of causing the former expedition to lean in.

Seriously Naruto not wanting to be Hokage is like saying fish hate water.

"TO RESSURECT THE UZUMAKI CLAN!" Naruto finished with a yell as his mother looked at him with fire in her eyes.

"Naruto…" She began in a whisper"…you are not lying right?" when her son shook his head no" *Sniff* You make me so proud show the world the power of the Uzumaki!" Kushina finshed as everyone gave her looks of pure disbelief.

"I will! Now come on we need to finish my plan but first…" Naruto started as he looked at the sky.

**You son of a bitch…**

Naruto just smirked at him while everyone not used to the voice nearly screamed.

**Platinum trophy unlocked: Re-writing history (Player must change so much of the game that even the game master gets confused as to what's going to happen next.)**

**Yugito: Unlocked**

**Chiyo: Unlocked**

**Konan: Unlocked**

**FemDeidara: Unlocked**

**BGM: Unlocked: Eddie Rath: I got Bombs**

**BGM: Unlocked: Eddie Rath: Konan**

"Alright Konan you stay here, Mom tell Tsunade we will be gone a little longer than previously thought." Naruto told his expedition before turning to Sasuki, Sakura, and Konan." Get ready guys we're heading to demon country.

"For what?" Sakura asked her leader.

"We're going to be doing side quests." Naruto answered before turning to Sasuki. "Yo we're going to have to wait a few months before returning home so get your head in the game because this is going to be the hardest thing we've ever done."

~**End flash back~**

As our heroes entered the temple they were stopped by the guards.

"Halt who goes there?"

"Just a traveler wanting to speak to the priestess" Naruto responded as the guards looked at each other.

"Alright you may pass." the guard answered shocking the hell out of the party.

"**What the fuck… they just let us in…Just like that?"** Akane couldn't help but ask in disbelief.

"She's a bitch" The Guard said as if reading their thoughts.

"I'm not complaining lets continue_. "_ Naruto replied while he and his shell shocked party walked in.

**~ A couple of minutes later with the priestess~**

"You are going to die." Shion said in a monotone voice as Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Yea I can see the future too and you are going to fall madly in love with me." Naruto said while Sasuki was trying to figure out where the hell all these women were coming from.

"You are going to be pierced through the chest..." Shion tried harder.

"And you are going to be pierced by my di-" He was cut off as Sasuki interrupted them.

"Listen just show us where Moryo's shrine is ok?"

"But your all just going to die what's the point are you suicidal or something?" Shion asked confused as hell by the people in front of her.

"Tell you what if I survive you have to agree to be a part of my clan later alright?" Naruto asked finally fed up with people who were too noob to change their fates.

"Whatever it's not like I'm going to see your dumbass again follow me." Shion said while standing up before Naruto asked her a question.

"Yea let's go. Maybe you should bring one of your servants so that if we DO die you can come back safely"

"*sigh* Whatever… You" Shion said pointing to a purple haired servant that was currently cleaning one of the windows, not seeing Naruto's sudden smirk , as the servant turned around revealing a girl with long purple hair and purple eyes," You are going to come with me to the shrine so that you can escort me back." When the servant girl nodded they left for the shrine.

"Time to troll." Naruto said while leaving the building behind Shion as his party looked on with confusion.

**~ At the shrine~**

We find a long black haired man begin to absorb the spirit of Moryo.

"**Soon revenge will be mine!"** The spirit exclaimed before it's soon to be host was set aflame by a black flame.**" Who DARES INTERRUPT ME!"** the demon yelled in outrage as its only source of freedom was just destroyed.

"I did…obviously now go back to your seal so we can get along with our lives." Sasuki said with an eye-roll as Shion looked on in shock at what just transpired, soon the demon began to chuckle.

"**Such power…YOU will be my host!" **and with that the demonic energy launched itself at Sasuki, but before it could reach her a purple haired female was suddenly in between them causing the spirit to e sealed within her instead.

**C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!**

"I love it when a plan comes together don't you guys?" Naruto asked with his arms outstretched as Sasuki and Sakura looked at him in blatant horror.

"….You just killed that girl! WHAT THE HELL NARUTO!" Sakura screamed as Naruto smirked.

"I'm hurt you don't know me at all do you? That girl never existed. She was a clone I head in the room by switching it with the real servant that was in there." Naruto said while Konan looked at him in surprise

"But…Why?"

She got her answer when the girl began to move.

"**This pathetic body can still serve its purpose, so it doesn't matter… Now its time for REVENGE!"** Moryo started before screaming in pain while clutching its forehead.

"Yea I also placed some chakra limiters and the old **Caged-Bird Seal** Hinata was throwing out after completely conquering the Hyuuga clan."

**~Flash Back during Month before finals in the Chunin exams~**

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto yelled at his friend who was throwing out a lot of scrolls."What are you throwing out?"

"Hmm… Oh nothing just throwing out the copies of the former **Caged-Bird Seal** I found while looking for clan scrolls to help me beat Shino." Hinata explained to her former crush.

"Hmm well I Never would waste a good seal how about I take them off your hands in exchange for a way to beat Shino?." Naruto asked while Hinata looked thoughtful.

"Meh, why not? It's not like I'm going to need this shit with the whole clan under my divine subjugation." Hinata said while handing him the trash bag. "So what's your idea on beating Shino?"

"Nobody said OFF and HOT SHOT couldn't be used as ninja weapons." Naruto said with a smirk as Hinata chuckled evilly.

**~End Flash Back~**

Sasuki could only shake her head in denial as the pieces started to fall together.

The **FEMALE** clone

The trip to Demon country being part of that damned evil **Plan of his**

IT ALL MADE SENSE!

" DAMNIT NARUTO! I apologized about not taking your plans seriously ,are you STILL adding on to it?" Sasuki screamed hysterically as Naruto chuckled.

"Of course not…" Naruto began causing her to sigh in relief"…I had this planned since the beginning of the plan." Sasuki went pale.

"**What are you idiots talking about!"** Moryo demanded as Naruto looked at _HER_

"Well you're going to be my clan's bodyguard-with-benefits" Naruto explained as the demon went pale.

"**HELL NO!"** The Demon began before screaming in pain

"You really don't have a choice… it's either that or get sealed again." Naruto explained as Konan looked at him with a blush.

"Can you put one of those on me…" Sakura could only face palm as Sasuki began sucking her thumb in a fetal position by a tree.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Shion yelled at Naruto who looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Your new husband last I checked." Naruto stated before putting his hands in a ram seal

"**ARGGGGH"**

"No sneaking up on me." Naruto said without turning around

"But why did you do this?" Shion asked Naruto who shrugged.

"Saved myself from 98 minutes and 41 seconds of bullshit that I would have had to do anyway." Naruto said while giving a thumb up to the sky.

**Hidden Character unlocked: FemMoryo**

**Avatar unlocked: Priest Naruto (Sealing and healing arts increased 100 fold, this is the second stage of the "Super Medic Naruto" Avatar.**

**Summon unlocked: Moryo**

**Platinum trophy Unlocked: Preventing the resurrection**

**Shion: Unlocked**

**Hidden item acquired: Shion's Bell**

**Tag Jutsu: Naruto & Shions: Ultra Chakra Rasengan: Unlocked ( Requires Shion's Bell and Shion to be used.)**

**Naruto Shippuuden Movie 2: Bonds: Begin? **_Yes!_

**AN: An that's part one. I know a lot of you are going WHAT THE FUCK? But that's the plan when reading a crack fic( Especially a multi chaptered harem fic with a plot) you must be ready for EVERYTHING.**

**AN2: Shout out to Sage of Seals, Thirdfang, Maverick9871, Kyuubi16, and Kenchi618 for inspiring to even start making a fic in the firstplace. Make sure to check them out.**

**AN3: LOL what can I think to pull out my ass next?**

**AN4: Read and review **

**~RebukeX7~**


	19. Life is a Movie pt 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto big whoop, wanna fight about it?**

**(Warning: May include spell check/grammar failures also I might be pushing the hell out of the "T" Rating with this chapter idk I didn't read the rules. Besides it's not really **_**That**_** bad. But I might change rating anyway as I heard the mods on this site have gotten strict. Don't expect much though this will have my first "M" scene and I doubt my writing skills could pull it off :P this is only a test people don't flame me xD might be only one in the story.)**

Chapter 19: Life is a Movie pt 2

Naruto stood above his sleeping wife with a frown on his face. After he decided that he and Sasuki would just do the second movie themselves he noticed that his wife began to act strange. When he currently looked as his whimpering wife he couldn't help but feel concern, after all people as badass as Sasuki don't ever have nightmares…do they? It must be something terrible to scare Sasuki like she is and he'd help her no matter what!

**~Sasuki's dream~**

_**Sasuki pov**_

_So here I was in the hotsprings of Konohagakure. The bath was empty, besides me and an all too familiar red haired female with blue eyes…or were they violet?...it didn't matter as the crimson haired goddess looked at me with damned smirk of hers before she splashed me with water. Catching me off guard I fell down into the steaming bath as she pushed her body on to mine causing me to tremble slightly in anticipation as the older woman's hand reached toward me, but something wasn't right the closer it got the lower it seemed to aim. Before I could stop It, the hand reached its destination causing me to let out a silent scream in pleasure. She removed her hand causing me to moan in disappointment she looked at me with those damned eyes of hers…she got me, and she knew it. After what seemed like an eternity she finally spoke._

"_Looks like we are going to have some fun-__**TTEBANE**__" The woman spoke as I could only look at her with lust filled eyes and felt myself drip in anticipation. This bitch got me…and she got me good._

_Suddenly I gasped as she drew herself in close to me, her hands examining everywhere and mine doing the same, she grabbed my rear end causing me to moan her name. I quickly returned the favor causing her to do the same._

"_Sasuki…"_

"_SASUKI"_

"SASUKI!" _My eyes snapped open at the familiar voice._

_**End pov**_

**~In the real world.~**

"Sasuki wake the fuck up!" Naruto yelled at his whimpering wife causing her eyes to snap open. He watched her with a raised eyebrow as he noticed her flushed face.

"_Shit I thought I had it under control… this is the third time this week damnit!"_ Sasuki thought bitterly before putting a fake smile on her face while looking at his face, before paling when feeling a wet spot in her sleeping bag. "Umm Naruto-kun could you leave me alone for a bit I have to get dressed…" She began before he gained a confused face.

"I've seen you naked numerous times…"

"Er it's just I don't want you gawking at me right now?" She tried again

"Err was that a question? You have been acting weird all week are you okay?"

"Yea I'm completely fine-ttebane" She said quicky then palled realizing what she said."_Crap the dreams are getting to me."_

Apparently not catching the slip-up Naruto continued to bombard his wife with questions for about 5 more minutes before asking…

"Sasuki, you can trust me, is it the drugs?" Naruto asked while looking at his wife's arms for needle marks.

"It's my time of the month!" Sasuki yelled knowing that would get him to leave her alone. She wasn't proven wrong as by the time the third word passed through her lips he was gone.

**~5 days later~**

Sasuki finally saw her husband again when he believed it was safe and came out of hiding, and by judging his beaten down appearance she could say that he must have been hiding by the nearest village…

Iwa

"_Seriously? I can't be that bad that he would hide in a place that would execute him solely because of his hair color". _Sasuki thought as she face palmed as her husband limped toward her.

Oh don't worry Sasuki every other man in the world would have done the same thing.

**Platinum Trophy: Surviving the odds: Unlocked (Player must survive in enemy territory for 3 or more days.**

**Party evasion increased 400%**

"Well we should intercept Amaru right about….now." Naruto said as he saw the apparently red-haired boy run up the road they were on.

"_Why the hell did he have to be a red-head? At least he's male so I should be able to keep myself under control after all Naruto is the only male I even like." _Sasuki thought as the boy stopped running when he noticed the Konoha head bands that our heroes were wearing.

"Great Konoha shinobi perfect timing! We have to hurry the Sky ninjas are planning to attack your village for revenge-"The boy was caught off as Naruto raised his hand.

"Yea we know about that army of cannon fodder ,we are the ninjas that were deployed for the counter attack." Naruto explained as Amaru looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously they only sent two ninjas?"

"That's all they need anyway the sky ninjas are being dealt with as we speak."

**~In Konoha~**

"**SUSANOO!"**

"**BIJUDAMMA!"**

"**SUMONING JUTSU!: DEMONIC STATUE OF THE OUTER PATH!"**

"**EXPLOADING CLAY MINIONS!"**

The screams of the cannon fodder could be heard for miles as they were taken out by the members of the Neo-Uzumaki clan. Strangely enough any sky ninja that survived the more destructive attacks found themselves hung by chains of chakra or maimed when a flash of yellow passed them.

One sky ninja was trying to hide before he ran face to face with a white-eyed bluenette who was currently drinking a cup of tea.

"Who said you could breath my air?" Hinata asked innocently before tossing the hot tea into the sky-ninjas face and smashing the cup upside his head. Hinata then dragged him away.

"What are doing!" the now terrified cannon fodder yelled while clutching his face.

"You are about to pay for your sins against Hinata-sama" Hanabi answered while drawing her kunai along with 20 other Hyuugas who appeared with her.

~**With Naruto & Sasuki~**

**Gold Trophy: Sky Invaders**

**Hidden Item: Glider: Unlocked**

"What the fuck was that?" Amaru asked terrified.

"Nothing you should be worried about." Naruto answered

"Amaru wait up! You know I can't keep up in my old age." Shinno yelled to his student who blushed.

"Let me introduce you two to my sensei Shinno, I was accompanying him to Konoha to ask for help, but since you're here we can go back to my village!" Amaru yelled happily.

**~Hours Later Back At Amaru's Village~**

"So...you going to tell me what _THAT_ was about or am I going to have to ask, because that was the greatest thing _EVER_." Naruto said with complete seriousness as Sasuki blushed.

**~3 hours earlier~**

We see a wet as hell Sasuki looking angrily at Amaru, who was equally wet.

"You almost died because of a knife some old guy gave you? I should kick your ass you little-"Sasuki was cut off as a piranha like fish jumped up and bit her on her inner thigh. Naruto could only look on in shock as his wife passed out.

"_She had her __**Sharingan **__on how did she get hit!"_ Naruto thought in morbid fascination while Akane yelled at him.

"**Dumbass that's the Byakugan that can see everything!"**

"_Well if Sasuki didn't do that whole "I can see" bullshit in every fucking fight we wouldn't have this confusion!" _Naruto argued.

**~30 minutes later~**

**Sasuki pov**

"_Ughh whats going on, and what's this feeling…"Sasuki thought in confusion as she looked down an noticed a long red haired girl sucking her inner thigh (__**An: it was to get the poison out)**__ Barely containing her shock Sasuki began to recall everything that happened. "So I blacked out that means this is a dream…Damnit… oh well I won't be the submissive one again!" Sasuki thought before grabbing the red haired girl by her head pushing her further between her legs causing the girl to gasp._

"_Mmph!" The girl exclaimed? With wide-eyes as Sasuki put on her Uchiha smirk as she activated her __**Eternal-Mangekyou Sharingan **__to make herself look more intimidating__**.**_

"_Now now let's have none of that" Sasuki said while unconsciously hypnotizing the girl in front of her._

"_Yes mistress…" the red-head droned as Sasuki raised an eyebrow._

"_Ok this is obviously a dream" Sasuki thought as she pushed the girl down and straddled her waist and looked into her eyes." Get ready for the best three days of your life." Sasuki told her slave in a husky voice as her new servant shuddered._

"_**Tsukiyomi"**_

_She did not notice the jaw-dropping Naruto a few feet behind her. _(**Bonus challenge: if anyone finishes this lemon I'll reveal what animes I'll do a "Life is a game" for after I finish Naruto, Next chapter)**

_**~ End Flash back~**_

"It was an accident, I thought it was a dream!" Sasuki yelled trying to defend herself as Naruto rose an eyebrow.

"What you did was ILLEGAL if we were ANYWHERE else you'd be in blood prison right now." Naruto said matter of factly. "And why would you dream of that anyway?" Naruto asked perplexed.

"…" Sasuki answered with a blush

"What?"

Finally a lifetime of frustration broke out of Sasuki as she finally yelled what would be formerly known as her biggest secret EVER.

"I have a read-head fetish alright! DAMN I am tired of hiding it. It has caused me nothing but pain! You want to know why I did not go with my fan-club, why I would have Karin in my team if I went evil, and why I would have went with Orochimaru after seeing Tayuya? THAT'S WHY!" Sasuki yelled as she continued her rant.

"Err.."

"THIS IS WHY I KEEP LOOKING AT AKANE WHEN WE HAVE A THREESOME!"

"**Holy…"**

"Err... Sasuki…"

"Oh my God Naruto the things I would do to your mom." Sasuki continued as Naruto went pale.

"Oh God…"

"You can't even _comprehend_ what I would do to her."

"Please…stop..." Naruto whimpered some more.

"I swear if we got a divorce and your Dad died again I'd give her 3 months before making my move."

"Dear lord…"

"You know how there's fucking somebody and then there's _REALLY _fucking somebody well I would-" Sasuki continued listing all of the unspeakable acts she would do to Kushina, not noticing her husband rocking back and forth with tears in his eyes.

"…then I would take the Ramen bowl and…" Naruto cried a little more as Sasuki continued explaining what she'd do to Kushina.

Afterall there are some things you just don't tell your husband/wife

Like how you would do their Mom.

**~In Konoha ~**

Kushina stopped walking and stared at the sky causing her husband to give her a look of confusion.

"What?" Minato asked his wife who looked back him with a scared face.

"I felt… a disturbance…"

**~10 minutes later with Naruto & Sasuki~**

"Sorry about that…" Sasuki said softly as she rubbed her husband's back as he finally stopped the tears.

That kind of conversation could scar somebody for life.

"Whatever...*sniff* anyway you have to take responsibility." Naruto said pointedly to his wife.

"Of what?"

"Of that." Before Sasuki could ask she soon found her answer.

"SASUKI-SAMA!"

Sasuki could only shake her head in horror as realization at what she had just done.

"Now, Now Amaru-chan you can only come with us if you agree to be a member of my clan." Naruto said with a smirk.

"You Bastard… You KNEW!" Sasuki yelled hysterically.

"Honestly I didn't know how bad your fetish for my Mom was." Naruto shuddered.

After all number 34 of things she would do to Kushina should not be done period. To anyone.

"But I have to hand it to you ,thank you for wife number 20 I knew you wanted to see the clan strong again!" Naruto said while running away.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOO!" Sasuki yelled while chasing her Husband.

"SASUKI-SAMA! WAIT FOR ME!"

In the excitement nobody noticed the three Naruto clones forming a **Rasen-Shuriken**

~**With Shinno~**

"Heh power will be mine!" Shinoo yelled as he prepared to obtain absolute power.

***BZZZZ***

"What-" that was Shinno's last word before the spiraling vortex of doom hit him.

***BOOM***

**~ With a running Naruto~**

**Platinum trophy unlocked: bonds**

**Character unlocked: Amaru**

**Hidden Platinum trophy: Manliest Man: Unlocked(player must get a relationship,even one-sided, with 20 or more women.)**

**Hidden Event: Bonus wife: Unlocked (Player must unlock "Manliest Man" He can choose one unobtainable Character to join clan, despite whatever makes them unobtainable in the first place)**

Naruto smirked; secretly glad Sasuki was too pissed to hear the Game Master's voice.

**Insert character Name you wish to obtain:**_ MIkoto_

**Mikoto will be found in Players clan-house once he returns to it.**

"_Yea…"_ Naruto thought while dodging a arrow from **Susanoo** "_She won't let me leave the bedroom when we get home." _And as Naruto dodged more attacks from his wife he couldn't help but be happy at how his life has turned out. Shivering at the memories of loneliness he turned back at his wife, who couldn't see the tear escape from his eye, he had but one thought.

"_Thank you for being here Sasuki, and Happy anniversary."_

**Amegakure arc begin? **_*****__Sniff__*****_ _ Yes!_

**AN: And that's That! Hope you enjoyed it.**

**AN2: Muaha behold for I have created it! A crack fic… WITH PLOT muahahahah and yea thanks to the amount of feed back I got from last chapter I decided to start on this chapter sooner than I normally would. And now you guys know why Naruto began his plan in the first place as it comes to a successful end.**

**An3: read and Review**

**An4: what happens next…**

**~RebukeX7~**


	20. Amegakure Insanity

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto **

**Random guy: thank god!**

***BAM***

**Rebuke:-Holsters gun- anyone else wanna say something?**

**(Ok honestly this might be my Greastest chapter period. –Insert normal warnings-. But seriously I don't even know where I pulled some of this shit from.)**

Chapter 20: Amegakure insanity

**~At the Uzumaki Clan House~**

"…I don't even know what to say…." Sasuki said as she looked at her mother with tears in her eyes before turning to Naruto."…This was what your plan was from the beginning?"

"Well this and one more thing which doesn't matter right now." Naruto said while looking at his second wife. The rest of the clan just stared in shock before Haku opened her mouth (**Bet you forgot she was even IN this story)**

"So I come back from a two year mission to find out that the clan was increased over 4 times?" At Naruto's nod she continued. "I am never going on a Sake recon mission for Tsunade ever again! " Tsunade had the decency to look embarrassed.

"It wasn't THAT much Sake…"

"SEVEN** CARRIAGES FULL"** Haku exclaimed with an eye twitch.

"heh."

***BAM***

"Hey we're back!" Itachi yelled from the doorway as she entered the room along with Madara who was carrying an unconscious Fuu whose face was covered in chocolate, Not noticing Mikoto, Itachi had to ask Naruto.

"Why the hell did you send us to grab this girl? I mean seriously Akatsuki on has like five members left at best."

"Jinchuriki's have to look out for each other." Naruto said with a shrug as Sakura scoffed while sitting on the couch with Jiraiya and Minato playing **Call of Nindo™.**

"You are so full of shit Naruto. If that was true then where are the male ones?"

"They can handle themselves I'm sure…" Naruto tried to reason.

"The six tails looks like he's high 24/7, you told me yourself!" Sakura said as she threw a shuriken across the entire map hitting Jiraiya out of a tree.

"BULL SHIT!" Jiraiya yelled as he threw the controller down in a rage-quit.

"Err… moving on… How did the mission go?" Naruto asked Madara as she picked up the controller.

"Just as you said it would."

**~Takigakure 6 hours earlier~**

"Why the fuck would I leave my village?" Fuu asked with a raised eyebrow as Itachi stepped forward.

"We can save you from the hate-"she was cut off by a giggle from Fuu.

"Hate? Bitch I get 70,000 ryou a week for just existing." Fuu began as Itachi gapped a little. "I have men lined up for miles trying to marry me, and I don't even have to go on missions period."

"Why not?" Itachi asked in awe.

"They expect me to protect them in case of war which won't happen unless the major villages stop their cold war, which won't happen."

"…" Itachi couldn't even begin to think of anything.

"Also if I really wanted to leave, I can because they are scared of lil miss 7-tails power." Fuu said while sitting down in front of a large mansion. "You see this shit?" Fuu began while pointing at the house. "This is MINE 15 fucking bathrooms and twice as many bedrooms what the hell could you possibly give me?"

"Cake..?" Madara asked with a raised eyebrow. Fuu just snorted before looking at her with narrowed eyes.

"The cake is a lie." Fuu said while reaching for a kunai as Madara smirked some more and pulled out…

A double chocolate fudge cake

"Oh it is? Well I guess I'll just keep this and…" Madara trailed off while taking a bite. She soon found herself on the ground mouth to mouth with the green haired girl.

**~flash back end~**

"…That doesn't even make sense…" Tsunade said while gapping at the person who caused her grandfathers death.

"It makes perfect sense." Naruto said while picking up Fuu, and setting her in a chair. "7-tails is a bug; therefore she has a strong sweet tooth. I doubt Taki even let her eat sweets as they were always worried about her well being and more than likely only fed her healthy things."

Suddenly Kushina and Naruto shared a look and nodded with pissed off expressions.

"_That's bull shit! How come we didn't get any of that?"_ They thought in unison.

"WHAT THE FUCK/FUCK THIS GAME!" came the twin yells of Sakura and Minato as they threw their controllers away.

"That what happens when you challenge your elders." Madara said with _**The Original Uchiha Smirk™**_

"Anyway-holy shit is that my mom?" Itachi asked in confusion as she looked at a pissed off Mikoto.

"Mind telling mummy why you killed the WHOLE clan and not just the conspirators?"

"Funny story about that mom… you see…" Quickly glancing at an embarrassed Madara she could tell it happened the same way in her world.

_**~Flash Back Uchiha Massacre~**_

"…You lost the list?" Madara asked with a raised eyebrow as Itachi looked down embarrassed.

"It's not completely my fault… I had to go buy a life time worth of Pocky since I'm going missing-nin and all." He tried to argue as Madara just shook his head.

"Looks like we're just going to have to kill them all…oh well they had it coming."

**~ 10 minutes later~**

"_Shit was mom on the list?"_ Itachi wondered before hearing footsteps enter the room

"Nii-san what are you doing?" Sasuke asked in a scared voice.

"_Fuck it! Sorry mom shouldn't have married a douche."_ Itachi thought before bring the sword down on his parents.

**~Flash back end~**

"That's fucked up." Kushina said before turning around. "Well I'm going to the Hotsprings see ya-ttebane.

Looking at Sasuki and Mikoto Naruto could see they were trying their hardest not to follow his mom, which brought a shiver down his spine.

"_Oh my God that's where she got it from?" _Naruto thought in horror before turning to his dad with wide-eyes. "_Dad…does mom know about Mikoto's… problem?"_ Naruto asked his dad in a whisper as Minato gained a confused look.

"What are you talking about?" Minato asked

"Have you ever noticed Mikoto ever acting weird around Mom?" Naruto asked again while Minato gained a horrified look.

**~Flash back 20 years~**

"Yo Mina-kun you know that girl I went on a mission with 2 months ago?" Mikoto asked her best friend who gained a knowing smile.

"Oh yea her name started with a K right?" At her nod he continued "So you finally going to come out of the closet and tell your clan to go fuck themselves about the arranged marriage with Fugaku?"

"Yup! And I can't wait to introduce you to her!"

"Awesome I can't wait either maybe I can bring my girlfriend too. We can have a double date! Don't worry if someone tries to steal your girl tell me. I've been working on a technique that will let me kick ass at the speed of light!"

"That's awesome Mina-kun! By the way what's her name? You never told me."

"Oh it's Kushina Uzumaki! Can you believe it? Oh man she's so HOT! AND she's a Red-head I know how much you like those so that should be a plus in your book!" Minato exclaimed not knowing he just pwned his best friend at life.

***CRASH***

"Hey get up! We gotta get back to the village so I can go on my date with Kushina."

**~ End Flash Back~**

"Dear god…" Minato muttered in morbid fascination as he watching Mikoto seemingly struggle not to go follow his wife. Naruto just shook his head sadly.

"Dad you douche"

"Hey if I DID know you wouldn't be born!"

"Bull shit they would have wanted a child and would have came to you for the donation since you are Mikoto's best friend…you're a dick." Naruto said sadly while leaving the room and stepping outside.

**~Outside~**

"Naruto! It's time get Sasuki and Sakura we're headed to Ame!" Konan said as Naruto nodded.

"Wait Konan…umm where are we going to sleep?"

"I still have a 2-bedroom apartment in Ame"

"Ok."Naruto was about to go in but stopped himself. "_I have a feeling I'm going to need this..."_

_*Snap*_

_Projectiles never miss target? Check!_

_*Snap*_

**~With Akatsuki~**

"Ok we have five members…" Madara began. "We can still pull this off! We just have to try harder… Pein any luck on finding Konan? "

"What the fuck did you do anyway leader-sama you two were inseparable." Hidan asked Pein, who seemed to be rocking in a corner.

"_Ain't no Sun Shine when she's gone…"_ The over powered leader of Akatsuki began to sing.

Kazuku just shook his head.

"He's been singing sad R&B songs for days now… I'm not sure if he'll be back to normal anytime soon, In fact I put money on it."

Madara just face palmed "_Worst case scenario he dies quickly and I get the eyes."_

"_AIN'T NO SUNSHIIIII-"_

**~Five Days Later in Konan's Apartment~**

"Damn girl does the rain EVER stop?" Sakura asked while looking out the window.

"Nope, it doesn't." Konan said while opening the window to let some air in.

"And you use PAPER jutsu here? That's dumb as fuck." Sasuki said while lying on the bed.

"Yea well when you have control over BILLIONS of exploding tags conveniently placed everywhere let me know."

Sasuki shut up.

"Thought so-Oh my god not again…" Konan said while face-palming

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Pein must have realized I'm back because he's doing the music video thing again." Konan said despondently.

"Oh this I HAVE to see." Naruto said with a sweat drop while going to the window with Sasuki and Sakura, the three somehow managed to stay out of view.

**~With Pein~**

**BGM: Usher let it burn instrumental**

God realm took a deep breath before starting:

_[God realm]__  
><span>__Girl, understand why__  
><span>__See it's burning me to hold onto this__  
><span>__I know this is something I gotta do__  
><span>__But that don't mean I want to__  
><span>__What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just__  
><span>__I feel like this is coming to an end__  
><span>__And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you__  
><span>__I gotta let it burn___

_[God Realm]__  
><span>__It's gonna burn for me to say this__  
><span>__But it's coming from my heart__  
><span>__It's been a long time coming__  
><span>__But we done been fell apart__  
><span>__Really wanna work this out__  
><span>__But I don't think you're gonna change ya__  
><span>__I do but you don't__  
><span>__Think it's best we go our separate ways__  
><span>__Tell me why I should stay in this relationship__  
><span>__When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby__  
><span>__Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with__  
><span>__I think that you should let it burn___

_[Paths]__  
><span>__When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to__  
><span>__But you know gotta let it go cause the party ain't jumpin' like it used to__  
><span>__Even though this might bruise you__  
><span>__Let it burn__  
><span>__Let it burn__  
><span>__Gotta let it burn___

_Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you__  
><span>__Hate the thought of her being with someone else__  
><span>__But you know that it's over__  
><span>__You know that it was through__  
><span>__Let it burn__  
><span>__Let it burn__  
><span>__Gotta let it burn….._

**~With the Party~**

"Is this mother fucker serious…?" Naruto whispered in morbid fascination as Konan nodded her head sadly.

"Yea…he has it bad." Sakura said with a shake of her head trying to keep herself from laughing out.

Sasuki…

"YOU SUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

**~With Pein~**

***RECORD SCRATCH***

Pain could only look on in shock as he saw other people in jump out of Konan's window and land in front of them, one he identified as the Kyuubi jinchuriki. He turned his head to Konan with a wide-eyed expression.

"You brought the Kyuubi here! I knew you didn't forget your view on peace." Pain smirked before looking down on Naruto and speaking smugly." Now you will learn your place as your death brings peace!" God realm was interrupted as Naruto laughed.

"AHAHAHAHA oh my God… I needed that… OK time to troll." And with that Naruto grabbed Konan and proceeded to make out with her in front of Pein.

"You… BASTARD ILL KILL YOU!" Pein snarled as his paths got ready for combat.

**WAIT!**

Suddenly a white haired boy fell from the sky and looked at everyone.

"What the hell Rebuke I thought you weren't going to interfere with the story?" Naruto said while Rebuke glanced at him.

"Don't worry I'm not bringing the Mary Sue-ness and Over poweredness that comes in the job description of an OC." Rebuke began.

"Then why are you here?"

"Oh I just wanted to do this in person." Rebuke took a deep breath but was interrupted.

"Wait YOU'RE THE game master? You are just some dude the same age as us-"Sasuki was cut off by the most KI she's ever felt in her life.

"YOU don't know who you are talking to brat." Rebuke started before gaining a solemn expression. "Thousands of years ago I was just a normal boy but then an event happened that turned my life in to hell…"

"YOU JUST SAID YOU WEREN"T GOING TO DO THIS!" Naruto roared as Rebuke got sheepish look.

"Sorry story for another time anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted." Rebuke snapped his fingers.

**BGM: MORTAL KOMABAT INSTRUMENTAL**

Rebuke took a deep breath and then spoke.

**Test your might…. MORTAL KOMBAT!** And with that Rebuke disappeared via summoning Izanami. Leaving behind a group of confused as fuck shinobi.

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that…" everyone agreed with Pein and resumed the fight.

"It's over…" Naruto said while pulling out a book.

"What are you talking abou-"Pein was cut off as Naruto yelled his next move.

"**THERAPY JUTSU: TALES OF A GUTSY NINJA VERSION!"** and with that Naruto entered **Sage Mode **and **Nine-Tails Chakra Mode** and tossed the book through the sky.

"What the hell Naruto…?" Sasuki and Sakura asked in unison as Naruto smirked.

"Watch this…You guys are about to see how I plan to beat Madara" Naruto said while everyone in hearing range got large eyes.

**~With Nagato~**

*Crash*

"What the hell?" Nagato wondered before getting smacked in the face with a copy of "Tales of a Gutsy Ninja" By Jiraiya.

**THERAPY JUTSU :SUCCESS!**

**~With Naruto~**

**Hidden Ghost-rare Platinum Trophy: Pwning the paths(Player must win against pain in one move)**

**Avatar Unlocked: Renningan Naruto.**

**One-time Ability Unlocked: Bloodline Add (Player can add any character with a bloodline to his clan no matter what the original conditions of unlocking the character are.)**

"Ohh I see you are going to have Nagato Join our clan so he can help fight against Madara." Sakura said with a nod of her head while Sasuki smirked.

"gotta say I was expecting something unreasonable looks like I misjudged you Naruto-kun" Sasuki said with a small laugh as Naruto gained a confused look.

"What the hell? Fuck Nagato he was going to help anyway since my jutsu succeeded." Naruto explained with confusion.

**Which bloodline do you want to add to clan? **_Renningan_

"But you just said you weren't adding Nagato." Konan said with confusion as Naruto picked a Name from the character list that appeared before him.

"Watch" Naruto said as a lightning bolt came from the sky a few feet in front of them. When the smoke cleared a figure limped toward them. Upon closer inspection they could see a woman who was physically in her twenties, she had short red hair and a pair of purple **Renningan. ** She was also wearing very old shinobi armor and was carrying a staff. She had an Aura that made everyone in the area have a sudden urge to bow.

**Narukoverse:Rikuddou Senin: Unlocked**

"Oh my God…" Sasuki whispered in awe causing the woman to look at her and tilt her head.

"Yes?"

**AND THAT'S THAT! That's right IMO this is my best and Favorite chapter tell me what you think!**

**An2: ok So I was sitting here with complete writers block trying to figure out ho to completely mid-fuck my fans… then this chapter came to me! **

**An3: If you are reading this then be warned now there is going to be a "Game Patch" Parties will now be able to hold 6 people.**

**An4 : Read and review( Please T~T I tried hard on it!)**

**~RebukeX7~**


	21. Dealing with Danzo

**Disclaimer: (Spoiler alert) I own this story but not Naruto…yet…**

**(Warning: If spell check/grammar fails blame my laptop for shutting down every time I click spell check)**

**(Contains Mind fuck, seriously if your brain is weak stop now.)**

Chapter 21: Dealing with Danzo

**~White Room~**

Now we find the Game Master sitting on a white couch looking at a television screen with a disturbed look. After 2hours of staring he shakily raised a white gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

***CRACK***

"**Izanami…"** Rebuke began with a disturbed tone of voice." Tell me did I just see what I think I did?"

"_**Well master you just let Naruto gain the strongest character in the game as an ally…if that's what you're asking."**_

"That crazy son of a bitch…" Rebuke said in monotone before yelling in joy. "Fucking perfect! I'd never expect anything less from my first general, and judging by how far he's gotten I can tell that soon he will finish his game so that then I can test him _personally(_**Not that way you yaoi fangirls!)**_._" Rebuke said the last part with a smirk before sighing contently. "This day couldn't get any better."

"_**Actually master our second project has been completed. I can now convert the chakra energy needed to perform the "Life is a Game" technique into Reiryoku."**_ Izanami said to her summoner who looked like a kid in a candy store at the moment.

"Perfect." Rebuke said before switching to channel two on the screen. Now Rebuke could see a orange haired boy take a katana through the stomach courtesy of a petite black haired girl, suddenly rebuke _Paused _the screen and turned towards his white haired summon/assistant." Is it alright to assume…" Rebuke began as Izanami nodded her head.

"_**Zangetsu has agreed to learn the technique so I suggest we go teach him as soon as possible." **_Izanami said as Rebuke nodded his head in understanding.

"Let's go now… I trust Naruto can finish the rest of the game considering how well he's done. Set the computer to look over his game for now. Now we have to get our second general's world ready for what's about to go down." And with that the Game Master disappeared via Izanami to go prepare for the coming of the next general.

**~On the way back to Konohagakure~**

"So Riku, how do we know you really are who you claim to be?" Sakura asked as she still couldn't quite picture the God of all shinobi walking next her as reality. The sage tilted her head before jumping on top of a nearby river and looking back up at her.

"So you are water walking… anybody can do that…" Sakura began as the sage smirked.

"That is true young one, but I'm not using chakra." Sakura just gapped while everyone else just stared wide-eyed.

"I'm not even going to ask…" Sakura said while shaking her head. "Hey Naruto how much longer till we reach…" Sakura stopped as she noticed them walking by some very familiar buildings. "How…"

"It was taking too long, so I just teleported to where we needed to go." Riku said while walking past a gapping pinkette.

"But how do you even know what Konoha looks like?" Sakura asked in awe.

"Meh, I just read your mind when you looked at me." Riku said while Sasuki was thanking every god she could think of, even Riku, that the over powered sage didn't read _her _mind. There were a lot of things she was planning on doing to Riku consequences be damned.

Yes ladies and gentlemen Sasuki was prepared to DIE for a chance to take Riku to bed.

"Sasuki simmer down we need to tell Tsunade-chan to go make plans for a Kage summit we need to discuss the future of the clan going back to Uzugakure and remaking the village." Naruto said as they continued their trek towards the Hokage tower.

"Are you an idiot Naruto? I know you didn't forget about Danzo, do you think he would just let you guys leave? It was hard for me to even get to go with you guys on the mission to Suna." Sakura began while shaking her head. "As soon as Tsunade announced that I was the best medic in Konoha they wouldn't let me be anywhere near Gaara, because they think I'm going to defect to Suna for him."

"Which you would. I know… I read your mind" Riku began.

"Not now, god damn it."

"Damn what?" Riku asked innocently.

"**ARGGH" **Sakura shrieked while grabbing her head.

"Sakura! Stop screaming!" Tsunade demanded as Sakura looked at her with a shocked expression.

"What the hell? Where did you come fro-"Sakura stopped herself as she looked around the Hokage's office in morbid fascination. Before she could even ask how they got there she noticed Riku looking at her, obviously stifling her laughter, with absolute mirth in her eyes. Sakura just sat down in the nearest corner and wept silently.

"Is she going to be alright?" Tsunade asked in concern.

"Meh she'll get used to it…they all do…or else." Riku said while looking at Sakura with narrowed purple eyes.

Sakura just wept louder.

"Ok… and who are you?" Tsunade asked the strange ninja in front of her.

"Hmm I believe you refer to me as the Rikudo Sennin." Tsunade just raised an eyebrow while turning toward Naruto.

"She's serious. She really is the Sage of Six paths." Naruto said in complete seriousness as Tsunade just gaped at him. "She's also our newest clan member!" Naruto said in happiness.

Tsunade just gaped some more.

"Mind fucks aside, Naruto Sakura had a good point, how are we going to get passed Danzo and the elders overruling Tsunade." Sasuki asked as Naruto smirked.

Sasuki got pale.

"Well you see I was worried about that too, so I had Madara and Naruko go convince him to join our side." Naruto began.

Sasuki paled some more.

"How could you convince him? What could you have possibly offered him?" Tsunade asked as Madara entered the room with Danzo.

"Konoha." Danzo said while putting his hands in a ram seal. Tsunade just looked at Naruto with a glare that demanded answers.

"Calm down let Madara explain as I am sure this means that the mission I sent her and Naruko on succeeded."

"Well this is what happened…" Madara began.

**~Flash Back 4 Hours Root Headquarters~**

"So… Madara, or should I say Madara-_chan_" Danzo sneered at the legendary raven. "What could I do for you today?"

"You could give me Shisui's eye?" Madara asked as she tilted her head to the left causing her bangs to reveal her **Rinnegan **in her left eye while her **Sharingan **eye spun slowly. Danzo took a step back before smirking and pulled the bandages off of his face revealing his right **Sharingan** eye.

"Well then let's see if you are as strong as the legends-**ARGGG"**Danzo screamed while clutching his bleeding right socket. He looked up and noticed a pigtailed girl, who looked like she was set on a golden flame, putting the eye in a jar and toss it to a smirking Madara.

"Light speed movement kicks ass-ttebane" Naruko giggled while powering down.

"Yes it does." Madara said before turning toward a fuming Danzo.

"You'll pay for what you have done… ROOT!" Danzo yelled for his not so secret, secret army.

"Dealt with them before I came in to the room." Naruko said as Danzo went pale.

**~Hyuuga Clan house~**

"Hinata-sama! There are hundreds of unconscious ANBU in our back yard!" Neji yelled to Hinata. Hinata just sighed a followed her cousin to the back yard to find hundreds of ANBU lying on the ground without moving. Looking at the nearest body Hinata saw a note.

_Hey I just thought that s a sign of a good relationship between our clans that you may want more servants. Hurry up and put the seal on them before they wake up!~ttebane. ~Naruko_

At the end of the note Hinata could see a crudely drawn Naruko, which must have been colored with crayon. Shaking her head at the lack of artistic skill, she turned to her clan.

"Get to sealing them everybody gets their own slave." Hinata said as her clan roared

"YES HINATA-SAMA!"

**~Root Head quarters~**

"If you think I'm going to go down without a fight you better think again!" Danzo roared as he ripped the bandages off his right arm.

**~3 hours and 9 Izanagi's later~**

Danzo was growing tired and weak, seeing this; Madara placed a genjutsu on him making him think that Naruko killed him again. Acting on impulse he began to activate **Izanagi** just as Naruko flashed in front of him, using her superior speed she put her hands into a seal and henged into her world's Danzo just as Danzo activated his jutsu. Taken by surprise he couldn't help but think of the female him instead of returning to life, causing him to change into his female counterpart. Seeing her chance Naruko raised her hand.

*_Snap*_

_Danzo: Age mod: 17_

_*Snap*_

*Poof*

Danzo could only look on in horror at his, or should we say her, new body. She tried to dispel what must have been a genjutsu, but sadly nothing happened.

"Mission complete Madara-chan!" Naruko said while beaming at the woman she now considered a sister.

"Well done Naruko, and welcome to the clan Danzo-_chan_." Madara said with a smirk as Danzo grew paler.

"I won't accept this! Do you hear me?" Danzo shrieked at the two as Madara shook her head in annoyance.

"Geez settle down when wass the last time you've been laid anyway?" Madara asked as Naruko had to control herself from laughing at the irony of that statement.

"Never. That is something you do when you are married, which I'm obviously not." Danzo said as if she were talking to two-year-olds. Naruko just gaped before shaking her head sadly.

"Seriously? Again? This is getting annoying I'm tired of dealing with you old people that haven't gotten laid ever." Naruko said with a groan while ignoring the glare that Madara was giving her. Naruko just took off her orange jacket and snapped her fingers.

**BGM: Marvin Gaye: Let's get it on**

"Err what's that?" Danzo asked in confusion as Madara walked forward.

"Coffee making music. Let's get this over with, afterall can't have you trying to kill Naruto-kun when he tries to take you somewhere nice." Madara said with a sigh.

**~End flash Back~**

"Kai!" Danzo yelled as he realeased the genjutsu, revealing a young brunette that was about 5 foot 7 inches with shoulder length black hair and black eyes.

The silence was deafening until Tsunade finally spoke up.

"You know what? Fuck it. Naruto do whatever you want I could care less now." Tsunade said before grabbing a bottle of sake and drinking from it.

"Anything to say Sasuki? This is normally the time you begin screaming at me." Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. Sasuki just looked at him before shaking her head.

"You know I don't even care anymore, maybe I will once my mind recovers from that mind fuck, but right now I could care less about anything. In fact…" Sasuki began while grabbing Riku's hand "If you are going to recruit more people why should I give a fuck? You are the only male I like, but that has nothing to do with women. Come on Riku I'm going to teach you something interesting you can do with a Ramen bowl." Sasuki finished her rant while dragging a confused overpowered sage with her. Before she left she turned towards a wide-eyed Naruto. "By the way Naruto you can join us when you want, I'm going to need a chakra donor as I plan on using atleast 15 **Tsukiyomi's." **And with that Sasuki left the room leaving behind a gaping Naruto.

"Holy shit that's like 45 days of non-stop sex hell yea!" Naruto yelled before stopping. Naruto looked at the ceiling in annoyance.

'"Damnit Rebuke you are cock blocking me hurry your ass up!"

***BOOM* Holy shit quit spamming Getsuga you old fart! You agreed to learn the tech so stop bitching!**

**That was before I found out there was a chance I could be turned into a chick!**

**Damnit Izanami why did you tell him that!**

_**Sorry Master**_

***BOOM***

**Listen that will only happen if Ichigo decides to do it! It's completely up to him how he uses the Action replay ability!**

**He's fifteen! You can't trust his hormones!**

***BOOM***

**Son of a bitch my stash! That's it I'm ending this!**

***Crack***

**IZANAMI DEBILITATE THAT MOTHER FUCKER!**

_**Yes Master**_

***Pop***

**What…Why am I so weak right now!**

***BAM***

***Thud***

_**Master…Did you have to pistol whip him THAT hard?**_

***Pant* When he comes to he'll forget everything about what you said. Now where was I?**

Naruto was just looking at the ceiling in utter disbelief.

**Platinum trophy acquired: Mind fuck master!**

**Characters Unlocked: fem Danzo**

**Items unlocked: Shisui eye 1 of 2.**

"_That reminds me I have to go get my spoils from the save point! I haven't used it in years."_

Naruto ran towards the blue scroll in the corner of the room and activated it.

**Ryou: +9,999,999,999**

**Items: Shisui eye 2 of 2**

**Secret hidden item: White Headband (can be used to activate a hidden boss battle post-endgame.)**

"_That's it?" _Naruto though in disbelief suddenly inside of him Akane yawned.

"**What did I miss**?" Naruto just rolled his eyes before smirking.

Time to troll.

"_Oh nothing…I'm just about to fuck your mom that's all." _Naruto laughed loudly when he heard the cursing and coughing Akane was doing.

**An: that's all folks **

**An2: Well that was weird. Honestly I'm not going to drink so much coffee when write chapters anymore (I mean the actual drink you pervs) It makes me come up with more BS than Kishimoto.**

**An3: Honestly I think I am the founder of at least 2 pairings from this story so far let me know.**

**An4: (MINIGAME) Ok if you can name all of the pairings IN ORDER! I'll let you know 2 unique pairings in the bleach version (I hope that whoever wins can keep a fucking secret too XD, if not, I really don't care it's the process not the result that makes it funny.) **

**AN5 Read and Review…or else… ( btw I liked the feedback from the last chapter)**


	22. Nightmares and The Summit

**Disclaimer: IF I owned Naruto storm generations would have been released already.**

**(Warning my spell check STILL isn't fixed, but I believe myself check has been sufficient enough.)**

**Chaptter 22: Nightmares and the Summit**

**~AT the Kage summit ~**

"I'm sorry, but why the fuck are we here?" The Raikage asked honestly confused as hell as Naruto shook his head sadly.

"Honestly I don't know…" Naruto said with a sad expression.

"But YOU made the meeting arrangements Hokage-sama" Mifune reminded Naruto who developed a dangerous twitch under his right eye.

**~Flash Back~**

"I'm sorry I thought I had something bat-shit insane in my ear." Naruto said with a deadpan expression as he looked at his wife who just chugged another bottle of sake.

"Long story short, you're over powered and a great strategist so you are Rokudaime congrats..." Tsunade said as Naruto gapped at her.

"Bullshit! I said we were going to remake UZU!" Naruto yelled as Tsunade yawned.

"And we will…as Uzumaki property, but it's going to become a part of Konohagakure." Tsunade said as she began to walk away.

"Don't you walk away from me! This discussion isn't over!" Naruto yelled as Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? I'm pretty sure that the fact that when we went to the future and fought your son in KONOHA kind of means I win this one." Tsunade said as if she were talking to a five year old.

**Platinum Trophy Unlocked: A Hokage's Will! : Unlocked (player mus-**

"Shut the fuck up Rebuke I don't wanna hear it…" Naruto said despondently.

**Bu-**

"No buts."

**Atleast take the Damn Hokage Naruto costume holy fuck I'm just trying to help… **

"Sorry about that, but I am just not in the mood…" Naruto said as the GM sighed

**Don't worry I'm used to it you always were like than when we were ki-never mind said too much**

"Wha-"

**Forget about it**

"Bu-"

**FORGET ABOUT IT OR SO HELP ME I WILL RESET THE GAME!**

"Ok damn…" Naruto said before turning to his wife again. "By the way Tsunade ,where the hell is the perverted old Toad at?"

"Oh he was complaining about not getting to go to Ame so I locked him in a closest."

"Is he going to be ok? It's been a week…"

"Meh last time I checked he was singing about a time he slept with a daimyo's wife."

"But how long can one person sing about one thing?"

**~Outside the broom closet~**

Groups of jounin were staring at the closet in awe

**BGM: R-Kelly: Trapped in a closet instrumental**

_He looks at the closet (closet)  
>I pull out my Shuriken (shuriken)<br>He walks up to the closet (closet)  
>He's close up to the closet (closet)<br>Now he's at the closet (closet)  
>Now he's opening the closet (closet, closet, closet)…<span>_

"Ohhh what happens next?" One Jounin whispered excitedly.

"Shh it's starting…"

**~B****GM:End. With Naruto and Tsunade~**

"…I have a bad feeling…" Naruto began before shaking his head. He turned to look at his wife with a confused as fuck expression.

"Wait shouldn't a Sannin level ninja be able to get out of a closet?

"I _LOCKED_ the door remember?" Tsunade answered as Naruto went pale at the mention of a Ninjas worst nightmare **( I forgot where I got this from so if you can remind me that's be great.)**

A locked door…

"Log help us… you bitch…" Naruto muttered

**~Flash Back End~**

"Anyway we are waiting on a homicidal maniac so that we can stop his evil plan." Naruto said with a shrug before a thought hit him. He looked at the Mizukage with a smirk.

"Hey how about you and I make a more PERMANENT union with our villages hmm?"

"Seriously Naruto? Are you really doing this now?" Sasuki asked with an eye twitch as Naruto looked at her scandalized.

"Oh my god Sasuki, I don't see you talking to Sakura about what she's doing!" Naruto said while pointing to his medic, who was playing a round of tonsil hockey with the Kazekage. Sasuki looked at Sakura in surprise before turning back to Naruto. She _WAS _going to apologize before he spoke again…

"And what about you? You have _THREE_ red-heads clinging to you as we speak." Naruto said while pointing to Amaru, Riku, and Karui…

**~Flash Back On the trip to The Summit~**

The party consisting of Naruto, Sasuki, Sakura, Riku, and Amaru were on their way to the land of Iron, before they came across the Raikage's group.

"Holy shit so _THAT'S_ where the diversity was hiding." Naruto said a little too loudly as Sasuki face palmed.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" The Raikage asked annoyed. Naruto just scratched his head sheepishly while smiling at Raikage.

"Hey don't worry bro, I'm cool."

**Better be…** the GM spoke scaring the fuck out of the Kumo-nin.

"Anyway… we might as well walk together in case any of our village's enemies try to attack us." Naruto said while taking out a scroll. "And as a show of goodwill I'll give you the legendary sword **Samehada **to give to your brother. The Raikage could only look on in awe as he was handed the scroll.

"_This new Hokage may not be so bad after all, wonder why he called this meeting…"_

"Oh and dude… you might want to get that kid two new teammates after this is over." Naruto said seriously as the Raikage quirked an eyebrow.

"And why is that?"

"Well one" Naruto began while pointing to a confused Samui "By the end of this meeting she is not going to EVER want to leave me and two…" Naruto finished while pointing toward where Sasuki and Karui were. Normally the Raikage couldn't be easily surprised, angered yes, but surprised no. However when the powerful man looked at one of his brother's students, he couldn't help but gape.

After all it's not every day one of your trusted soldiers begins to make out with a soldier from another country.

A country that barely trusts your country after it attempted an act of war on them.

In front of the leaders of both countries.

"What…" that was Sasuki who was gapping at her long time friend.

*Thump* and that was Omoi whose head had just fried.

"Karui… My brother told me about her fetish for black haired women, but I thought he was just blowing things out of proportion. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it after all my wife, as you can clearly see right now, can't control herself when it comes to red-heads…" Naruto said despondently.

"Sorry Naruto…it's kind of my fault. It seems that when we did number 34 of things that should-not-be-done with a ramen bowl two days ago, Sasuki lost any sense of morality." Riku said with a said voice as Naruto's eyes glazed over.

"Things that should-not-be-done indeed…"

"Baby you got it going on!" Sasuki said as Naruto had to briefly wonder if Sasuki was Jiraiya in a **Henge.**

"*Squeel* Sasuki-sama not there…"

"_Nah… Jiraiya doesn't get that much action."_ Naruto silently agreed with himself.

What followed was the most awkward walk to a diplomatic meeting ever.

**~Flash Back End~**

"Heh young ninjas these days have no sense of honor." The Tsuchikage said in annoyance.

"My dad nearly kicked your countries' ass single handedly, and I CAN do it. Do you really want to start something with me?" Naruto said with an eye-roll as Onoki fumed.

"Your dad is a coward…"

"My dad is a pro you noob." Naruto said while chuckling.

"Who do you think you are brat?"

"Your future grandson in law if how Kurotsuchi keeps looking at me means anything." Naruto said offhandedly as said kunoichi blushed.

"**ARGG"** Onoki screamed while banging his head on the table.

"And 3…2…1" Naruto counted down as Zetsu popped his head in through the table.

"Madara is somewhere in the building…" Zetsu began before he found a flaming black blade through his stomach. Everyone turned to a smiling Sasuki.

"I was worried I wouldn't get to do this after I decided to stay in Konoha." Naruto just shook his head at his wife.

**Platinum Trophy: Death of the White Rapists (1): Unlocked (All Zetsus must die)**

**Party HP regeneration: +4% per second**

"All right now all we gotta do is wait for the masked idiot to show his face!" Naruto said with a cheer as the other Kages looked at him in confusion.

*Pop*

"Well what do we have here?" Madara asked as he appeared in the room.

"Nothing you need to worry about just explain why you have people stalking me already." Naruto said while shaking his head. Madara just huffed in annoyance before beginning.

**~One Explanation later~**

"And then ill cast a genjutsu on the world."

"OBJECTION!" Riku yelled scaring the fuck out the room.

**BGM:Phoenix Wright: Cornered**

"Everything you've just said is complete and utter bullshit!" Riku began confusing Madara.

"What do you mean? And how the fuck did you get those eyes?" Madara asked honestly shocked for once in his life.

"One! Since the death of Zetsu you have NO army, what you have is a terrorist group that WILL fail." Riku began ignoring Madara.

"Well once I Have the **Rinnegan..**"

"TWO! Nagato is on our side you have no Rinnegan!" Riku continued. Somewhere during this she had **Henged **into a Blue lawyer Suit with a red tie.

"Err but…"

"THREE! You told everyone your plan putting them on guard and expecting you!" Riku was now standing on the table pointing at Madara.

"How about if I-"

"FOUR! Evidence shows that anyone with fully developed coils WILL blow up once sealing a tailed beast, EXPECIALLY the Juubi!"

"Now wait just a damn minute!"

"OVERULLED!" Naruto screamed as Riku flashed Madara her most epic troll face.

"FIVE! The moon is too fucking far away for you to do ANYTHING with it!" At this point Madara's Mask had somehow developed the ability to sweat heavily.

"AND SIX! A witness known as none other than Itachi Uchiha has claimed you are no more than a shell of your former self, so there is no way you could control the Juubi!" Madara was now pressed against the wall trembling. Riku smirked at this and turned to her husband. "Your Honor?"

"Well Jury?" At this point all of the ninjas in the room had been caught in the moment and simultaneously screamed...

"**GUILTY!"**

"Madara Uchiha I sentence you to death by **Bijudamma** any lasts words?" Naruto asked while tilting his head.

"WHO IS SHE?" Madara screamed.

"Me…I'm the **Rikudo Sennin** Bitch." Riku said while flashing her BEST troll face, which was so epic Madara forgot he could mold chakra.

"AHHHHHHHHH." Madara had screamed finally losing his santity. " You haven't seen the last of me!"

*CRASH*

And with that Madara jumped out of the nearest window while laughing on his fall down.

**BGM:END**

"…So what now?" Sasuki couldn't help but ask.

"Now we wait for him to come at us, and when he does we finish this!" Naruto said while standing up. "It was a pleasure working with you all I hope to hear from you guys again. Also here's some information of members of the new Uzumaki clan in Konoha. Just in case you guys wanna start some shit with us.

_Naruto UzumakI-Namikaze:( Leader) AKA: Player One: Perfect Kyuubi Jinchurikki_

_Sasuki Uzumaki-NamiKaze: AKA: Ravager: __**Sharingan Master**_

_Sakura Haruno: Adoopted member: AKA:Tank: Master Medic_

_Naruko Uzumaki: NamiKaze:(See Naruto)_

_Haku Yuki Uzumaki: Last heir of the __**Hyouton**__ bloodline_

_Anko Uzumaki: Poison Mistress_

_Temari Uzumaki: Wind mistress of Suna_

_Tenten Uzumaki: Weapon mistress of Konoha_

_Tayuya Uzumaki: Jounin level genjutsu mistress_

_Itachi Uzumaki: Sharingan Mistress_

_Tsunade Senju-Uzumaki: Slug Senin: Godaime hokage: Master Healer _

_Madara Uzumaki: __**Sharingan/ Rinnegan Hybrid Mistress**_

_Deidara Uzumaki: explosion Mistress_

_Chiyo Uzumaki: Puppet Mistress_

_Yugito Uzumaki: Perfect Nibi Jinchurikki_

_Shion Uzumaki: Priestess_

_Mikoto Uzumaki: __**Sharingan mistress**_

_Moryo Uzumaki: (Bodyguard): Former Dark demon_

_Amaru: Uzumaki: healer_

_Konan Uzumaki: Only Known user of Paper Jutsu(Has control of billions of exploding tags)_

_Akane Uzumaki: Kyuubi_

_Nagato Uzumaki: AKA Pein: __**Rinnegan Master **__Leader of Ame_

_Danzo Uzumaki: Mistress of Futon Jutsu_

_Minato NamiKaze: (Elder): Konohas Yellow flash: Yondaime Hokage: __**Hiraishin Master**_

_Kushina Uzumaki-Namikaze: (Elder) Former Kyuubi jinchurikki: __**Chakra Chain Jutsu**_

_Ayame Ichiraku-Uzumaki: heir to Ichiraku ramen franchise: Badass chef_

_Riku-Uzumaki: Aka Rikudo Sennin, God of Shinobi, Your God, your ancestor, creator of bloodlines, Juubi slayer, Creator of the log, creator of the Moon, creator of the Biju, awesome lawyer: __**Rinnegan Mistress**_

"Holy…fuck…" The Raikage said as his black skin went white,like everybody elses who had read the list.

"_Well…I guess I'm forming an alliance with Konoha now."_ Was the collective thought of all of the kages, minus Gaara who had already formed one.

**~? Pov( Sorry but the humor dies here for this chap./~**

**BGM: Cowboy bebop: The real folks blues**

"_They are all dead…" I couldn't help but mutter as I held my dying lover in a tight embrace. I sat on the roof of a building in utter disbelief. I could do nothing but stare at her bloodied form as the thunderstorm continued above us._

"_How sad, and to think they would still be alive if you were more honest with yourself…such a pity she sure was a looker." I turned my head toward the source of the voice with a mixture of pure rage and complete self loathing. _

_The voice came from a boy with brown skin and short black hair, he looked exactly like me except his eyes were a frightening yellow and he was covered in blood._

_**Their**__ blood_

"_How DARE you do this…" I asked with false anger. I couldn't be angry at HIM because…_

_He was me…_

"…_Whatever ,now hurry up, accept me, and gain my powers. After all that what you want isn't it? The power to beat this game called life?" The boy in front of me said with a sneer._

"**?**-_kun you don't need him…" The woman in my arms said with a small smile before coughing up blood." You never did…you made it this far without him…it was all of us, TOGETHER, that got us this far._

"_But…" I began as tears filled my eyes._

"_No buts…it was you, me, the Naru twins, Ichigo and *Thunder* together. And even though we all didn't survive I can at least do this for you…please don't give that bastard the satisfaction of winning…" And with her last ounce of strength she lifted her gun to my head._

"_**WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU BITCH?**__!" _ _Came the unearthly roar from the boy in front of us._

"_You will be able to find our souls later…they must be reincarnated eventually right? I wonder if we will be reincarnated as heroes?" My lover Chuckled before pulling the trigger._

_*__**CRACK***_

"_**ARGGH!"**__ I screamed in pain as a part of her soul, the most important part…the part of her that made who she was…her persona, was forced inside of my body. From the corner of my eye I could see my reflection in a nearby puddle, and looked nothing like my former self, my irises turned white and my hair did the same…I looked dead._

_But I knew I wasn't, oh no something better happened…thanks to __**Her…**_

_I was reborn._

"_Heh…stubborn bitch gave up her soul for nothing. This changes nothing...you are me so ACCEPT IT." The boy yelled frantically as I shook my head sadly, was I really THAT pathetic?_

"_Sorry…" I began as I raised __**HER **__gun to my head. "But you are not me…I don't know who you are and I don't need a parasite like you, I never did."_

"_WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU SAID SO YOUR SELF," Life is a Game", RIGHT ? We believe the same thing because YOU. ARE. ME!" The boy yelled as he became pitch black and completely cloaked in darkness. All I could see was a shadow and those damned yellow eyes of his. I just looked at those bodies around me and allowed a tear to escape from my left eye._

"_Life is NOT a Game." And with that I pulled the trigger. It was at this moment where the old me died and the new me began my search for the souls of those who have died on this roof today by my hands._

"_**Izanami…"**__ I whispered as the image of my lover's soul appeared right behind me…_

"_**STOP YOU NEED MEEEEEEEE!"**_

"_**[Thousand Curses]" **__ With that one phrase crimson hands appeared from underneath the shadow and pulled it down to nothingness, killing it instantly._

"_**Is that all master?"**_

"_Already forgot about your last owner already eh?" I asked the spirit who tilted her head in confusion._

"_**Whatever do you mean master? I am thou and thou art I"**_

"_*Sigh* lets go Izanami we have to go find the souls of those who died tonight."_

"_**But why? Who are they master?"**_

"_Old friends of ours…lets go…"_

"_**It could take thousands of years master and I doubt the human lifespan is that long…"**_

"_Then we better start now, and don't worry about the lifespan…that woman over there turned me into a __**Fool**__, and idiots don't die."_

_**~? Pov: end~**_

**~White Room~**

The game Master woke with a fright as he sat up in his bed.

"_Damn those memories again I thought I had gotten rid of them long ago…" _Rebuke thought as he ran his hand through his hair. "_…At least I managed to find Naruto and Naruko's souls at the same time. I shouldn't be surprised…twins have a special bond, but for it to be strong enough to create two of the same reality. Also Ichigo's world is almost ready to changed all I have to do is wait for Zangetsu to finish learning the technique." _Rebuke stood up to get a cup of coffee, but stopped when he felt something warm in his heart. "_Yes I know Izanami I'm nervous too about when they get their memories back, but will they hate me or not? Also I still have to find __**Her**__. Oh well go back to sleep Izanami you need to be rested for tomorrow if you are going to train Zangetsu again."_

_**~Within Rebukes Soul~**_

'_**Master…'**_

**BGM: END**

**1)I got that from sawyer7mage on youtube check out his vids**

**(AN:)And the plot underneath the crack gets deeper…**

**(AN2) I released this a week early because Sage of Seals is BACK! Seriously if you havent' read his fic… read it now…**

**(AN3) I will do a third life is a game fic after bleach explaining Rebukes past. And before you go oh noes not another oc fic, don't worry it will actually be good. And center around protagonists from Naruto, Bleach *cough* and *cough* so look forward to it. The chapters will be 2-3x longer than my regular stories and have humor-seriousness and seriously Read and Review honestly I will reply to the best of my ability and so far I haven't missed a reply yet .**

**(AN4) READ AND REVIEW**

**~RebukeX7~**


	23. Interlude: Discussions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto if I did this would be a real game.**

**(Warning Contains Some spelling/grammar errors and win.)**

**(An: Thank you to everyone who reviewed any of my stories you guys rock. )**

**(Warning: No Humor sorry guys but this chapter will explain more of the LIAG series there will be crack next chapter though. You can skip this if you really want, and read the next chapter I will have up soon.)**

Interlude: Discussion before the Final Battle

**ACHIEVEMENT REACHED: 160 reviews obtained (Fic gains over 160 Reviews to reveal first part of the Climax)**

**~After the Naruto: End Game at the Uzumaki-Clan house~**

"Well that's that!" Sasuki cheered as the clan finished their post war party. "The game is over and we can get on with our lives!"

"Yeah, but I'm going to miss all the fun things we did together as a team." Sakura said as she leaned in to Gaara. "I just wish there was one more adventure."

"There is." Naruto spoke for the first time that evening. He had taken to sitting alone while the rest of his family partied.

"What do you mean Naruto?" Sasuki asked her husband as the room went quiet.

"This." Naruto said seriously as he set the **Hidden Item: white Headband** on the table.

"What is that Naruto?" Riku asked as she examined the item closely.

"The key to the final fight, it's the only way to completely return life back to normal. If we do not finish this the game will just repeat from level one by sundown." Naruto said as everyone else in the room went pale.

"Then let's end this!" Naruko shouted while standing up and throwing her Sage-coat on. Naruto just nodded

"Let's." And with that everything turned a blinding white.

"Crap, I can't see!" Sasuki yelled while Sakura had to refrain herself from laughing at the irony of that statement.

**BGM: Persona 3: Aria of the Soul**

When the light cleared the Neo-Uzumaki clan could see that they were in a coliseum at least 4 miles wide. The stands were in ruins but still seemed able to hold people.

**Do you want to activate the final fight?**

"YES! IT'S TIME TO END THIS REBUKE!" Naruto yelled finally fed up with the game.

**Choose a player to fight.**

"I'll do it, after all I am player 1" Naruto said before being engulfed in a flash of light. When he looked down he noticed he was in his **Hokage Naruto Costume**. Before he could say anything he felt somebody leaning on him back to back. Quickly turning around he saw Rebuke standing there with his back to him.

"Fine then. This is perfect, but you do realize if you fail this you will have to re-start this entire journey again. Right?" Rebuke said as Naruto glared.

"He's not doing this alone. Sasuki stated while activating her **Eternal Mangekyou-Sharingan.** Rebuke yawned before snapping his fingers; this caused the Uzumaki-Clan, excluding Naruto, to be transported to the stands. A force field was quickly generated in front of them making the Clan unable to interfere with the fight.

**BGM: Persona 3: Unavoidable Battle**

"Tell me, before you are forced to restart the game, why do you want to end it?" Rebuke asked Naruto, who glared angrily.

"Everyone here has their own thoughts and feelings! They are living people not toys! **LIFE IS NOT A GAME!**" Naruto yelled, not noticing the small smile on the Game master's face, Rebuke just chuckled.

"Life is nothing but a big joke. People are born and they live their lives always trying to overcome the challenges life brings them. They try their hardest, but in the end they just die and reincarnate somewhere else without any memory of their past lives. The cycle continues until someone is finally able to beat it." Rebuke began as Naruto shook with more rage.

"Who do you think you are!"

"Do you know _why_ life works that way?" Rebuke asked while ignoring the question. Not waiting for an answer he continued. "Because sub-consciously we all fear what happens when we beat life so the _GAME_ has become the will of all man-kind! Heh we all fear death but, we cannot wait for the afterlife. This Hypocrisy is what I'm talking about!"

"That's not true! Where do you get off making such lies about li-"

"You don't even know who you are." Rebuke chuckled as Naruto went pale.

"What?"

"You don't even remember me, but judging by the look on your face I can tell that you instinctively remember me don't you?"

"What are you saying? You're not making sense!" Naruto yelled as his felt his heart clench for some strange reason.

"This isn't the first time we've met. We were childhood friends in your first life, but then you died." Rebuke said with a chuckle as he tossed a picture to Naruto's feet.

"Wha-" Naruto began ,but he choked on his voice when he stared at the picture. He did not recognize the others in the photo, but the three that he did recognize left him breathless. For he was staring at a picture of

Him

Naruko

And _**Rebuke**_

Although his hair and eye color were different he could, for some reason, instantly remember point out Rebuke. Dropping to his knees Naruto could only ask…

"…How did I die?" Naruto was prepared for any answer, but the one he received.

"I killed you." Naruto went paler.

"What about Naruko…?"

"Her too." Naruto saw red and lunged at Rebuke who merely side stepped the attack. Naruto could here Naruko cry from the stands. He then turned toward Rebuke in anger.

"WHY!" Naruto roared as tears filled his eyes. Rebuke's smile became evil.

"Isn't it obvious! Because **Life is a Game **of course!" Rebuke answered with a hearty laugh.

"You bastard!" Naruto screamed as he raised his hand.

*Snap*

-Crack-

"Wha-" Naruto looked at the **Action Replay** in disbelief as it split in half. Rebuke just shook his head.

"I made that shit do you honestly think I'd let it work on me?"

Naruto just glared more and entered his **Nine-Tails Chakra Mode **and activated **Sage Mode **on top of it.

"That's what I wanted to see! Show me son of man can your will surpass the will of all mankind?" Rebuke asked while laughing loudly. He raised a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

*CRACK*

"_**Izanami-No-Okami"**_ Instead of the usual white haired maiden that normally appeared, Naruto saw A blacck haired woman covered in a Blinding white armor. The armor covered only half of her face, concealing the eyes from view. Her cheeks had red lines on them making it appears as if she was crying blood. She had waist-length black hair and two Ebony Wings were sticking from her back. The armor showed her midriff, and her wrists and ankles had long white chains connected to them via cuffs. But the thing that Naruto was captivated most by was the pitch black spear in her hands.

"Come at me and show me how strong your will is _BOY" _Rebuke said condescendingly as he took a fighting stance. Naruto just glared and launched at him…

**To be continued post-game**

**Next chapter: War arc: pt 1**

**AN1: Ok before I get flamed I did say this was a crack WITH a plot, and before you ask nobody is overpowered I explained Rebukes power-level in a previous AN ( but if nobody read those I assume they'll miss this one as well.) **

**An2: For those still reading the AN Anything my character said is for plot so please don't message/review asking if I really think what I said, because like everybody else idk what happens when we die(I haven't died yet.)**

**An3: The next FUNNY chapt will be up later today or tomorrow depending on how I feel and much I can finish up.**

**An4: On another note it's funny how Many reviews my bleach fic got in one chapter O-o**

**An5: Read and review**


	24. War pt 1

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto the ANBU would have a bigger part and wouldn't suck.**

**(Warning Spell check/grammar blah blah blah)**

**Chapter 23: War Pt1**

**~ On the Battle field~**

"H-H-HOW!" Madara screamed as he felt his life fading away, courtesy of the dagger in his heart." Naruto just shrugged.

"I'm just blatantly better than you." Naruto answered. Behind him we can see a pale Sakura trying to revive an unconscious Sasuki, who had given up life as she witnessed the most terrifying thing ever.

Naruto's _FINAL _wife.

Riku , the **Rikudo Sennin**, True God of Shinobi, slayer of the Juubi, Creator of the log, etc. Fell to her knees while gaping at our hero.

"…You're more pro than even _I_ am!" Riku screamed as she looked at the newest addition to the clan in _**FEAR.**_

**~Flash Back 8 hours Middle of Fire country~**

We see an expedition including: Naruko, Sasuki, Sakura, Naruko, Madara, Itachi, and Riku walking through a clearing, suddenly Naruto smirked as he held both of Shisui's eyes in his hands and told Itachi his plan. Itachi looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You want me to _what?"_ Itachi asked her husband in disbelief.

"I want you to put these eyes in a crow and force the crow into my body, and only allow it to activate when a certain condition is met." Naruto said with a smile that was scaring the fuck out of Sasuki. "Also preset the genjutsu to this." Naruto said while handing Itachi a piece of paper. Itachi read it and looked back at Naruto skeptically.

"…And you knew I could do this how…?" Itachi asked as Naruto pointed to the strategy guide. "..Never mind. What's the condition you want to set?" Itachi asked while summoning a crow and fusing the eyes into its body.

"Only allow the crow to exit when I see somebody who is five times stronger than I am." Naruto said with a smirk as Sakura jaw-dropped.

"Naruto…you are aware that Riku is the only one stronger than you right? And the only reason she's stronger than you is because she holds the mother fucking Juubi!" Sakura yelled at Naruto, who suddenly gaped.

"Son of a bitch I forgot! RIKU!" Naruto yelled getting Riku's attention.

"Yes?"

"I need to speak to the Juubi!" Naruto said as the rest of the "Finishing off Akatsuki expedition" gaped.

"...are you serious?" Riku asked in disbelief at his nod she just had to ask "Why?"

"Because I want it to join my clan like Nibi, Kyuubi, and Akane." At this Naruko raised her hand. "Yes?"

"Kyuubi says, and I quote "What the hell is he talking about? I never joined the clan and he can go fuck off." Naruko said and lowered her hand. Naruto just chuckled at her.

"Oh delusional Kyu-chan we both know it's only a matter of time before you join, like my version of you did." Naruko raised her hand again."Yes?"

"Kyuubi says, and I quote again, "Fuck, he's right! And stop repeating everything I say you idiotic little girl." And Naruko lowered her hand again.

"*THUMP* Madara how the hell did this idiot even pose a challenge to you?" Sasuki asked after she banged her head against a tree. Madara just got a sad expression on her face.

"It's my curse; it's been like this in every fight I've been in." Madara said despondently.

**~Flash Back: Naruokoverse: Vs. Hashirama~**

"Give up you bitch! You can't stand the might of the Kyuubi!" Madara yelled from on top of Kyuubi's head while Hashirama fell to the ground in a bloodied mess. "Any last words?" Madara asked condescendingly as the first Hokage smirked.

"Yeah take that bitch out Tobi-neesan!" Panicked Madara turned around in search of the younger of the Senju sisters, but found nothing. Realizing her error she turned back just in time to see Hashirama, with a wooden bat held high, aiming at her head.

*CRACK*

*thump*

"_Now what to do with this oversized plushy…well Mito-kun always did have a soft spot for foxes…"_ The first thought with a sweat drop.

**~Flash forward Narukoverse: Vs. Minako~**

Now we see Madara looking down smugly at a woman with shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes, who was dressed in a bloodied hospital gown.

"How do you plan to defeat me? You can't touch me AND you have just given birth." Madara said with a chuckle behind her mask as Minako smirked.

"_Good thing I paid attention in history class." _Minako thought happily before yelling. "QUICK! GET HER KUSHI-KUN!" Panicked Madara turned around and swung her kunai, causing her to become tangible.

"_Daughter of a Bitch!"_ Madara screamed mentally as she saw a Kunai fly past her cheek.

"**Hidden Jutsu: Thousand years of Death: Rasengan Version!" **Minato screamed as she shoved the blue ball of death up Madaras ass.

*BOOM*

*thump*

"_Now what to do with this bugs bunny reject… Oh well I'm sure Konoha will treat Naruto like a hero. I mean who the hell disobeys a Hokage's dying wish?" _ Minato pointedly ignored what sounded like an entire village sneezing at the same time.

~**Flash Forward Narukoverse: Vs Naruko and Naruto~**

**BGM: Marvin Gaye let's get it on**

You get the idea…

**~ BGM: END Flashback End~**

Sasuki just gaped at her ancestor, who was now in a fetal position crying for her mother.

"…Any way…" Naruto began after shaking off his shock. "…Itachi don't give me the crow yet. I don't want to waste it on the Juubi."

"So how the hell are you going to beat it then?" Riku asked as Naruto smirked.

"Don't worry just take me to your mind-scape Riku-chan." Naruto said to his wife who shrugged .

"What's the worst that could happen?" Riku asked herself

**~ In Riku's Mind-scape~**

We find Riku and Naruto walking toward a cage. Riku suddenly panicked and tried to get Naruto from walking toward the cage.

"Err… Naru-kun..." Riku began with a furious blush on her face. "I think you should wait before looking in the cage…"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! *BAM*" Naruto screamed before getting sent into a wall via nosebleed.

"…Fuck... I was too late"

**~10 minutes later~**

Naruto, who was blushing heavily, and Riku sat in an awkward silence. Finaly Naruto spoke.

"So are you going to explain...or am I going to have to ask." Naruto said while looking inside of the cage. What was in the cage was a tanned, black and purple haired woman who was blind-folded, and chained up and hanging in the middle of the cage. She had a ball-gag in her mouth and stuff sticking in places that if I were to go into detail this fic would get removed.

"It's not _MY_ fault! The seal just works that way an-"

"The seal _YOU_ made. Honestly I was going to ask how you dealt with the Juubi who _MUST _be screaming at you in anger daily. Looks like I was right about the screaming part it seems, but looks like it's not in anger."

Riku shut up.

"Any way undo this so I can speak to hear…my god if Konan were here she'd probably ask you use the seal on her." Naruto said as Riku clapped her hands, undoing the chains, gags, and _insertions_ from the demon. Naruto just shook his head as he watched the quivering mess in front of him.

***Thump*** And that was Akane who fainted in the seal after witnessing what happened to her pseudo mother.

"_I'm going to lord this over Akane forever."_ Naruto thought as he waited for the Juubi to get up.

**~5 minutes later~**

"**What can I do for a worthless human like yourself."** The Juubi said smirking at Naruto who stared back at her purple eyes, that had three rings and nine tomoe, impassivly.

"Big talk for someone who was a quivering mess five minutes ago."

-Cue blush-

"**YOU DARE!"**

"Listen, what you do behind closed seals is your own business, but I'm not here to fight."

"**Then what do you want?"**

"I want you to be my second to last wife." Riku quickly turned to him in surprise, as this was the first time he ever mentioned what his limit on wives would be.

"**No, now be gone human."**

"What if I beat you in a challenge?"

"**It'd be amusing to see you try human, but I'll humor you. If you can beat me in a challenge I'll join this clan of yours."** The Juubi said with a smirk.

"Swear on your demon code?"

"**Whatever…"**

"Fine here." Naruto handed her a slip of paper, curiously she looked at it and soon regretted it.

"**FUCK!"**

"You mad?" Naruto asked with his best troll face.

Yes my friends, the Juubi has just lost "The Game"

**~Rules of the Game (I did not create the game, it is real)~**

_Everyone in the world is playing The Game. (__Sometimes narrowed to:__ "Everybody in the world who knows about The Game is playing The Game_ ")**(Yes that means that you, my fellow readers, are now playing…You mad?) **_A person cannot __**not**__ play The Game; it does not require consent to play and one can never stop playing._

_Whenever one thinks about The Game, one loses._

_Losses must be announced to at least one person_

_Strategies: Possibly the Most common strategy is to write down "The Game" on a slip of paper and hand it to somebody. When the person reads the note they have no choice but to think of the game._

**~End~**

**~Outside of Riku's mindscape~**

**Platinum Trophy!: Unlocked: Defeating the Juubi**

**Avatar unlocked: Juubi Chakra Naruto**

**+999,999,999,999 Ryou**

**Charcters unlocked: Juubi**

"OK the Juubi is now my newest wife; now give me the crow Itachi." Naruto said, apparently not caring that he said the most epic sentence ever. Itachi just nodded dumbly and forced the crow down Naruto's throat.

"Ok let's finish this!" Naruto roared as they ran towards the Akatsuki hide-out, of course the now fainted Sasuki had to be carried.

"_Soon…I will get my final wife and then the world will know Peace!"_ Naruto thought evilly before shaking his head. "_I have to stop spending so much time around Nagato."_

**Next Chapter: War pt 2**

**AN: Yes as the Naruto arc grows closer and closer to an end we can only wonder just who is Naruto's final wife.**

**Hint: They are quite possible stronger than the Juubi and they are NOT an oc. If you can guess who it is, ill reveal 2 pairings in the bleach fic. (Since nobody did the last challenge T-T)**

**AN2: Yep As a reader I hate when people drag on a story for too long, so I'm ending this fic in 2-3 more chapters, BUT DON'T WORRY I'll add the fillers/movies I forgot in a 3****rd**** disc…eventually, but ima start on the Bleach arc first.**

**AN3: Let's reach 200 reviews!**

**AN4: Read and Review**

**~Rebuke X7~**


	25. War pt 2: End Game!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto if I did Kakashi probably would have shown his face by now.**

**(Warnings: Spell check/grammar errors.)**

***Re-uploaded because of fail self-check rofl For those of you who have already read this chapter skip to the end because I have included bonus content***

**Chapter 24: War pt 2: End game**

**~AT Akatsuki's Hide Out~**

Naruto and the Expedition casually walked in to the chambers of Akatsuki and stopped in front of three figures. The figures glared at a smirking Naruto before Madara broke out into an evil laugh.

"You think this is it? You think you've beaten ME!" Madara roared in insanity as Naruto yawned.

"Yeah I think I did…you mad bro?" Naruto asked while tilting his head. Madara just glared more before signaling Kakuzu and Hidan to attack, which they did with a lot of hesitation.

"…Really?" Naruto asked while shaking his head. Riku just sighed and stepped forward with Madara-chan.

"Naruto let us handle this ok?" Riku asked while she in the rest of the clan ignited in a blue flame. Naruto silently thanked Sakura for teaching the rest of the clan how to do an **ougi** before nodding.

"Oh man, you two are about to be fucked." Naruto said a chuckle as the clan split into two groups, the Uchiha's against Hidan, and Riku, Sakura, and Naruko against Kakuzu. Madara looked on in shock as everyone disappeared from view except Naruto who stood proudly with a large grin.

**~In the Uchiha special Part one Itachi~**

**BGM: Eddie Rath: Mangekyou in the eyes**

"Where the fuck am I?"

"Your grave, **Tsukiyomi" **Itachi whispered as the world turned red. Hidan looked around and saw that he was surrounded by cats that were covered in pastries, and after taking a closer look he noticed that they seemed to crap rainbows.

"What…the…fuck…."

**BGM:End**

**BGM: Nyan cat**

"_**Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan-"**_

"Arghh!" Hidan Screamed as Itachi came into view.

"You'll be here for the next 72 hours."

"Noooooooooooo!"

"_**Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan-"**_

**BGM: END**

**~Uzumaki special Part 1: Sakura~**

**BGM: Naruto OST1: Strong and Strike**

"I'm not going to make this easy!" Sakura roared as she punched him 5 miles away.

"Son of a bitchhhh!" Kakuzu screamed as he flew

**~Outside of the specials: BGM END~**

"It doesn't matter what you do Hidan and Kakuzu are immortal." Madara claimed with false bravado as Naruto laughed.

"Not even immortals can live through what I'm sure is happening to them."

"Enough talking I'll make you pay you damned demon brat!"

"Bring it bitch!"

And with that Naruto and Madara charged at each other, the intent to kill clearly on both of their faces.

**~Uchiha Special Part 2: Sasuki~**

"Oh my fucking Jashin! There were so many rainbows." Hidan muttered while rocking in a fetal position. After getting out of his funk he noticed that he was at the Valley of the End. Looking up he saw a bad storm happening around him.

"You know I almost feel sorry for you." Sasuki said solemnly before charging at Hidan with a **Chidori** in both hands.

"Oh it's just the runt of the clan, I can take you bitch!" Hidan yelled swinging his scythe.

**BGM: Eddie Rath: War Time**

Just as the two met in the middle of the valley, Sasuki blocked the blow of the scythe with one of her **Chidori** while shoving the other through Hidan's chest. Hidan looked at her with an evil expression.

"Bitch do you honestly think that would kill me?"

"No but THIS will hurt." Sasuki replied while jumping back with her left hand still covered in lightning. "**Kirin!"** Sasuki roared as Hidan looked at her in confusion before paling when he felt an enormous amount of Chakra coming down at him. Hidan managed to think one thing before the lightning beast hit him.

"_Fuck!"_

***BOOM!***

Before Hidan could even twitch he was slammed against the side of the statue of Madara by a flaming purple hand. Opening one of his eyes he barely made out the form of **Susanoo** before a flaming black blade was shoved through his stomach causing him to be covered in a black flame. Next he felt his body get repeatedly shot at with what he assumed were flaming arrows and for the first time in years Hidan was scared. Finally after what felt like an eternity he felt the fire disappear from his body, but he could feel that the wounds were still there, and he looked up at a smirking Sasuki.

"Good news is I won't kill you." Sasuki said with a gentle voice as Hidan almost wept in joy. "Bad news the next woman might." And with that Hidan's world went black.

**BGM: END**

**~Outside of specials~**

Madara was glaring at the now golden Naruto who was forming seals, he tried to stop him but every time he attacked, Naruto would just disappear in a flash and continue forming the seals.

"Quit running!"

"Make me-ttebayo!"

**~Uzumaki Special pt 2: Naruko~**

Kakuzu pulled himself out of the rubble and stood up while bleeding profusely.

"_Damn…She took out one of my arms! I don't see her anymore so I should be on guar-_"His thoughts were cut off as he felt a punch to the face that was followed by more all around his body. "_What's hitting me? I can't see a thing!_

**BGM: Naruto Shippuuden OST2: Gekiha**

"You hurt-ttebane?" A voice asked looking up Kakuzu notice he was surrounded by Ten flaming Naruko's that were smirking. "Don't worry I'm using a lot of chakra so I'll end my part quick." With that nine of the ten Naruko's flashed at him with a **Planetary Rasengan** In their hands.

"_Fu-"_

***BOOM***

As Kakuzu flew into the sky he found the final Naruko in the sky above him, looking closer he noticed that she must have launched herself a few thousand feet into the air.

**-In the Sky-**

"_Let's make this quick Kyu-chan!"_

"**Of course, Naruko."** And with that they changed into a giant flaming Nine tailed Fox that was quickly gathering chakra in its mouth.

**-With Kakuzu-**

"_Well here goes another heart."_ Kakuzu thought despondently.

"**BIJUDAMMA!"**

***BOOOOM***

And then the world went white.

**BGM: END**

**~Outside specials~**

"What are you doing do you intend to die!" Madara screamed frantically at a panting Naruto who exited his **Nine-tails chakra Mode.**

"**Dead Demon Consuming Seal!"** Naruto gritted out as a monster like figure appeared behind him.

**~Uchiha Special: FINALE!~**

**BGM: Eddie Rath: Madara**

Hidan found himself in a clearing at nighttime; He was scared and confused…

…Until he saw the giant claw land next to him.

"Fufufu looks like I get to fight along Kyuubi-sama again like old times." Came a voice from on top of the head of the Kyuubi. **(Remember Naruto's Definition of Specials before asking how)** Hidan slowly turned around before stopping and glaring at the Raven Haired female.

"FUCK IT I DON'T CARE ANY MORE JUST DO IT IF YOU GOT THE BALL-"

***Chomp***

"*****Sigh* No fair… why are my fights anti-climatic!" Madara yelled in frustration as the Kyuubi shook its head before transforming into the form of Akane.

**BGM: END**

"**I don't know, but I believe that it's time for me to get some pay back bitch!" Ougi-**Akane growled as Madara turned white.

"Sorry?"

"**No… that won't cut it, YOU OWE ME! So be grateful that I'm going to be gentle human."**Akane said before her glare transformed into a gentle smile confusing the hell out of Madara.

**BGM: Marvin Gaye Let's get it on**

"…Seriously?...*Sigh* I see where this is going." Madara said with a shake of her head, relieved that she wasn't about to be eaten…

…Well at least not lethally.

**BGM: End**

**~Uzumaki special: FINALE! ~**

Kakuzu was trying to sneak behind a sleeping Riku in an attempt to take her out before she got his last heart. Right when he got behind her, he felt cold steel on his neck that stopped him from delivering the final blow.

"You're supposed to be a Shinobi? *Sigh* Let me show you how it's done _BOY."_ Looking down Kakuzu saw that person he was looking at was beginning to fade from view.

"_Shit genjutsu!" _ Kakuza thought angrily.

"No it was speed, you insolent brat." Riku said before removing the kunai and placing her hand on his back. "**SHINRA TENSEI!"**

***BOOM***

**BGM: Naruto Shippuuden OST2: Kokuten**

When Kakuzu landed he was rewarded with a kick to the face and while he was in mid air from the blow he heard her speak.

"1 of my 3 foundations of the ninja is Taijutsu! Show me what you got kid." Riku landed two devastating punches to Kakuzu's face before hitting with a round house kick to the head, but before he could fly away from the blow she grabbed his arm and planted her other foot into his face using him as a spring board to launch herself into the sky, she looked him in the eyes before his world went black.

**BGM: END**

**-10 years later-**

Kakuzu was reading his daughter a bedtime story, he had gotten married and given up his life as a missing-nin after Riku spared his life, he sighed contently as this new life was what he learned was very important to him. He had decided to open an orphanage and vowed that his current heart would be his last and that he would live this last life time with his wife and die a happy man. Before he could leave his daughters room she called out to him.

"Papa..."

"Yes my little angel?"

"I ran into a woman today, and she wanted me to tell you something Papa!"

"What did I tell you about talking to strangers?"

"I know but it sounded really important and she said that it would make me a better ninja like my papa used to be!" Chuckling Kakuzu turned to his daughter with a raised eyebrow.

"And what is this?"

"Another of her foundations for the ninja is Genjutsu!" Suddenly his daughter developed an evil smirk as he grew pale.

*CRACK*

**BGM:Naruto Shippuuden OST2: Kokuten**

Looking around he noticed he was lying down, heavily wounded, in front of a smirking Riku.

"YOU BITCH MY FAMILY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Kakuzu yelled at Riku who just smirked at him.

"Calm down it was just a genjutsu." Riku said enjoying the look of despair on Kakuzu's face.

"Kill me…"

"No." And with that Riku raised her hand at the mentally broken shinobi "**Bansho Tenin"** Bringing Kakuzu to her she grabbed him by his neck and put some of the Juubis chakra in his body. "That should keep you from dying for now. Shinobi foundation number three Ninjutsu! ** CHIBAKU TENSEI!**" Riku roared as she tossed Kakuzu in the center of a second moon. "**SHINRA TENSEI!"** Using the Juubi's Chakra she sent the new moon into space where it orbited in the opposite direction of the first moon. "*Sigh* have we really fallen? He didn't even notice that the earth was infused with my Chakra.

"**It really is a Shame."** The Juubi commented from her seal as Riku rubbed her head in annoyance.

"That's it I don't care who gives birth first, but I'm training Naruto's first child, so that we can have real shinobi again."

"**That would be for the best."**

"By the way…"

"**Yes?"**

"Assume the position I need stress relief."

"**Yes mistress!" **

_"Ninja's have become too weak…looks like my daughters, or in this world sons, failed me."_ Riku thought before putting her hand into a seal. "Katsu!" Riku exclaimed as she watched the moon explode. "_Be grateful that I let you die."_ And with that Riku disappeared in broad daylight, no **Shunshin** , genjutsu,speed, or chakra at all used.

Like a Ninja.

**BGM: END**

**~Outside Specials~**

The expedition came from a crack in the air and the first thing they saw was Naruto standing in front of the Shinigami.

"_**Are you ready to die human?"**_ The Shinigami asked Naruto, who was glad he used the Shinigami translation cheat, nodded. The first one to stop gaping was Riku, who began to yell at our hero.

"What the hell why are you going to kill yourself? What about peace and your last wife! You are too young to be giving up like this especially when I can kick Madara's ass no problem you dumb ass mother fucker!" Riku yelled at a smirking Naruto.

**BGM: Naruto Shippuuden OST2: RENKAI**

"Don't underestimate me Riku!" Naruto yelled in pain as he forced himself to turn around and glare at the Shinigami. "HEY OLD BONEY AND UGLY LOOK AT ME!" Naruto roared as a black crow escaped his body. "_I have to be careful I only have 2 of Shisui's eyes so I have 2 commands."_

"_**What do you want mortal?" **_ Smirking Naruto stood his ground underneath the oppressive aura of the Shinegami. As one of the crows eyes turned into its **Mangekyou** form he began.

"First I want to tell you that you would probably make a good looking girl why don't you try it out?" Naruto _suggested_ as Sasuki gaped.

"_The son of a bitch isn't…!_" Sasuki's thoughts were mirrored by everyone else.

"_**I probably would…"**_ The God of death thought before changing into a young woman with snow white hair in a blinding white robe that hugged her body in all the right places. She had pale skin and her eyes were bright blue.

Everyone gaped more.

"Secondly I'm sure we could fall in love with each other and drink lots of coffee." Naruto finished as the bird on his shoulder's eyes transformed back into the regular **sharingan**. The bird forced itself back into Naruto's body as he fell to the floor, his body now incredibly boney.

"_**I bet we could…"**_ Shinigami thought as the skin on her cheeks gained a little color. "_**But how is it possible when you are going to die?"**_

"Don't worry about it! With Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze nothing is impossible!" Naruto flashed her his famous grin before his eyes began to close. Remembering what she was doing the Shinigami stabbed Madara in his heart, Naruto's soul left his body and was about to be taken by the reluctant Shinigami when…

**+1 life used! (AN: remember Kabuto?)**

Naruto's soul shot directly back to his body, which soon returned to its physical peak. Standing up, ignoring his gaping family he looked down condescendingly at Madara.

"H-H-HOW!" Madara screamed as he felt his life fading away, courtesy of the dagger in his heart." Naruto just shrugged.

"I'm just blatantly better than you." Naruto answered. Behind him we can see a pale Sakura trying to revive an unconscious Sasuki, who had given up life as she witnessed the most terrifying thing ever.

Naruto's _FINAL _wife.

Riku , the **Rikudo Sennin**, True God of Shinobi, slayer of the Juubi, Creator of the log, etc. Fell to her knees while gaping at our hero.

"…You're more pro than even _I_ am!" Riku screamed as she looked at the newest addition to the clan in _**FEAR.**_

**Platinum Trophy: Beating the Game: Unlocked**

**+999,999,999,999 Ryou**

**Avatar: Shinigami Naruto Unlocked**

**Final Boss Available**

**Congradu-fucking-lations!**

**BGM: END**

As the Shinigami finished eating Madara's soul it began to pout, tilting his Naruto asked.

"What's up?"

"_**I'm used to eating 2 souls so I feel a little empty…"**_ Naruto quickly turned to Sakura.

"Hey don't you have a date with Gaara?" Paling Sakura stood up after Sasuki regained consciousness.

"Your right, see you guys later!" Sakura ran out of the hideout as Naruto gained an evil smirk.

"Ok now that she's gone let's fill you up Shinigami-chan!" Naruto cheered while undressing along with the rest of the clan, including Sasuki who finally stopped giving a fuck.

"_**With what**_?"

"just a certain little drink…HIT IT MARVIN!

**BGM: Marvin Gaye: let's get it on.**

And the Shinobi world finally learned peace.

**~3 hours later~**

"FUCK!"

"Yes Naruto that's what we're doing." Sasuki said sarcastically as Naruto stopped mid-thrust and glared at her.

"No what I mean is…WE FORGOT TO ADD KARIN!" Naruto exclaimed as the clan stopped their various positions.

"Oh well." Came from Riku as the clan resumed breaking the Goddess of Death.

**NEXT: FINAL BATTLE vs. Rebuke?**

**~Bonus Content~**

Rebuke stood in front of a screen with a sheepish smile before he began his speech.

"Because I am re-uploading this chapter I've decided to give bonus information for those of you who began my Life is a Game series from the first arc." Rebuke went to his closest and began to throw things out. Some of the items were a Playstation 6, X-box 1440, and a Nintendo-Z. "Here it is!" Rebuke yelled while holding up a folder and opening it.

_Naruto:Life is Game_

_Bakudo X: Life is a Game_

_Life is not a Game(Will be updated monthly, It describes Rebuke's past)_

"And that's what I've got so far… Crap I need something to do while I watch my past because I doubt bleach will be enough." Rebuke began before Izanami walked into the room.

"_**Master I've gotten your mail from Twilight"**_ Izanami said while handing her confused master a package. Rebuke carefully picked up the note.

"_Yo Man hey I found this lying in the ruins of an Old orphanage, It had your address on it so I decided to mail it back to you._

_~J14agent_

Rebuke felt a cold chill run up his spine at the word orphanage. Shaking his head Rebuke opened the package and pulled out what looked like an old baseball bat, suddenly, Rebuke gained a wide-eyed look.

**~Flash: ? Years: Ascension City~**

**BGM: Cowboy Bebop OST: Call me Call me**

_A small black haired boy was crying in front of an orphanage._

"_Hey kid what's the matter?" looking up the boy saw a black haired teen with a white band strapped around his left arm. Looking closer the small boy was openly gapping at the teen as he saw the symbols __**"X7"**__ on the band._

"_Y-y-y-you're a member of…" the boy began before he was cut off by a smack to the head._

"_Shut up brat don't you know you can get in trouble for speaking of my organization?" The small boy looked down with tears filling his eyes._

"_*Sigh* Now tell me what's wrong?" The teen asked as he sat down next to the boy._

"_I lost my bat…it was the last thing my parents gave me before they died." The little boy answered as the Teen turned him around._

"_Where did you see it last?" _

"_It was taken from me by a mean policeman who said gutter trash don't deserve to have fun…" The boy did not hear the teen next to him growl._

"_Hey kid what's your name?"_

"_*Sniff* T-Takashi Komuro." The boy answered while wiping his eyes._

"_Go on inside I'll go with one of my friends to help you get your bat." The teen said while standing up._

"_HEY REBUKE! What's taking you man?" Turning around Rebuke saw an orange haired boy and a pair of blonde twins walking toward him. The orange haired boy had a wooden sword strapped to his back, and he was wearing a black muscle shirt, black cargo pants, and a pair of black fingerless gloves. The twins were both wearing a black hoodie, cargo pants, and black fingerless gloves. All three had the same white band strapped onto their left arm._

"_Oh hey Ichigo…Looks like we got another mission." Rebuke said while cracking his knuckles as the twins smirked._

"_All right!" They said in unison as Ichigo pulled out his wooden sword._

"_Where to?" Ichigo asked while doing a few practice swings._

"_The police station." And with that the four walked away leaving a wide-eyed Takashi behind._

_**~5 hours later~**_

_The four walked into the cafeteria of the orphanage covered in blood and bruises. Looking around Rebuke spotted the boy from earlier and walked toward him._

"_Hey kid this yours?" Rebuke asked handing the speechless boy a golden bat. " Next time the police mess with you I want you to hit them with it and run to the address I carved into the bat. It'll be like fighting a zombie."_

"_Zombies don't exist!" Takashi said with a large smile while swinging his bat around making the 4 teens smile._

"_Yeah I guess they don't…good luck in life!"_

_**~After the four leave~**_

"_Oh man that was so cool! I can't believe we got to meet X7 in person!" A girl squeeled as Takashi looked back down at his bat._

"_I want to be as brave as them when I get older." Takashi murmured causing a girl next to him to roll her eyes._

"_As if that would ever happen!" The girl yelled as Takashi turned to her with a pout._

"_Why you gotta be so mean Rei?"_

_**~Flash End~**_

"_I wonder how that brat is living in his new life?" _ Rebuke thought before switching on the T.V, and gaping after he saw what was on.

"_Take this you undead bastard!"_ A black haired teen yelled while smashing a zombie with a baseball bat. Rebuke smirked more and more the more he watched the show.

"_This will be interesting."_ Rebuke thought as he scribbled something down in the folder.

_HOTD: Life is a Game_

**AN: That's That.**

**AN2: this is a gift because I know how people feel on Monday's**

**AN3: Competition is over ill send the winners the pairings soon**

**AN4: read and Review**

**~Rebukex7**


	26. Life's Not a Game

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto That belongs to a man named Kishimoto, who despite what I may have said, I respect.**

**(Warning: Spell check grammar fail.)**

**ITS OVER FINALLY! This Chapter is KEY! For anyone that plan's to follows the main story of LIAG**

Chapter 25: Life's not a Game

**~After the Naruto: End Game at the Uzumaki-Clan house~**

"Well that's that!" Sasuki cheered as the clan finished their post war party. "The game is over and we can get on with our lives!"

"Yeah, but I'm going to miss all the fun things we did together as a team." Sakura said as she leaned in to Gaara. "I just wish there was one more adventure."

"There is." Naruto spoke for the first time that evening. He had taken to sitting alone while the rest of his family partied.

"What do you mean Naruto?" Sasuki asked her husband as the room went quiet.

"This." Naruto said seriously as he set the **Hidden Item: white Headband** on the table.

"What is that Naruto?" Riku asked as she examined the item closely.

"The key to the final fight, it's the only way to completely return life back to normal. If we do not finish this the game will just repeat from level one by sundown." Naruto said as everyone else in the room went pale.

"Then let's end this!" Naruko shouted while standing up and throwing her Sage-coat on. Naruto just nodded

"Let's." And with that everything turned a blinding white.

"Crap, I can't see!" Sasuki yelled while Sakura had to refrain herself from laughing at the irony of that statement.

**BGM: Persona 3: Aria of the Soul**

When the light cleared the Neo-Uzumaki clan could see that they were in a coliseum at least 4 miles wide. The stands were in ruins but still seemed able to hold people.

**Do you want to activate the final fight?**

"YES! IT'S TIME TO END THIS REBUKE!" Naruto yelled finally fed up with the game.

**Choose a player to fight.**

"I'll do it, after all I am player 1" Naruto said before being engulfed in a flash of light. When he looked down he noticed he was in his **Hokage Naruto Costume**. Before he could say anything he felt somebody leaning on him back to back. Quickly turning around he saw Rebuke standing there with his back to him.

"Fine then. This is perfect, but you do realize if you fail this you will have to re-start this entire journey again. Right?" Rebuke said as Naruto glared.

"He's not doing this alone. Sasuki stated while activating her **Eternal Mangekyou-Sharingan.** Rebuke yawned before snapping his fingers; this caused the Uzumaki-Clan, excluding Naruto, to be transported to the stands. A force field was quickly generated in front of them making the Clan unable to interfere with the fight.

**BGM: Persona 3: Unavoidable Battle**

"Tell me, before you are forced to restart the game, why do you want to end it?" Rebuke asked Naruto, who glared angrily.

"Everyone here has their own thoughts and feelings! They are living people not toys! **LIFE IS NOT A GAME!**" Naruto yelled, not noticing the small smile on the Game master's face, Rebuke just chuckled.

"Life is nothing but a big joke. People are born and they live their lives always trying to overcome the challenges life brings them. They try their hardest, but in the end they just die and reincarnate somewhere else without any memory of their past lives. The cycle continues until someone is finally able to beat it." Rebuke began as Naruto shook with more rage.

"Who do you think you are!"

"Do you know _why_ life works that way?" Rebuke asked while ignoring the question. Not waiting for an answer he continued. "Because sub-consciously we all fear what happens when we beat life so the _GAME_ has become the will of all man-kind! Heh we all fear death but, we cannot wait for the afterlife. This Hypocrisy is what I'm talking about!"

"That's not true! Where do you get off making such lies about li-"

"You don't even know who you are." Rebuke chuckled as Naruto went pale.

"What?"

"You don't even remember me, but judging by the look on your face I can tell that you instinctively remember me don't you?"

"What are you saying? You're not making sense!" Naruto yelled as his felt his heart clench for some strange reason.

"This isn't the first time we've met. We were childhood friends in your first life, but then you died." Rebuke said with a chuckle as he tossed a picture to Naruto's feet.

"Wha-" Naruto began ,but he choked on his voice when he stared at the picture. He did not recognize the others in the photo, but the three that he did recognize left him breathless. For he was staring at a picture of

Him

Naruko

And _**Rebuke**_

Although his hair and eye color were different he could, for some reason, instantly remember point out Rebuke. Dropping to his knees Naruto could only ask…

"…How did I die?" Naruto was prepared for any answer, but the one he received.

"I killed you." Naruto went paler.

"What about Naruko…?"

"Her too." Naruto saw red and lunged at Rebuke who merely side stepped the attack. Naruto could here Naruko cry from the stands. He then turned toward Rebuke in anger.

"WHY!" Naruto roared as tears filled his eyes. Rebuke's smile became evil.

"Isn't it obvious! Because **Life is a Game **of course!" Rebuke answered with a hearty laugh.

"You bastard!" Naruto screamed as he raised his hand.

*Snap*

-Crack-

"Wha-" Naruto looked at the **Action Replay** in disbelief as it split in half. Rebuke just shook his head.

"I made that shit do you honestly think I'd let it work on me?"

Naruto just glared more and entered his **Nine-Tails Chakra Mode **and activated **Sage Mode **on top of it.

"That's what I wanted to see! Show me son of man can your will surpass the will of all mankind?" Rebuke asked while laughing loudly. He raised a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

*CRACK*

"_**Izanami-No-Okami"**_ Instead of the usual white haired maiden that normally appeared, Naruto saw A blacck haired woman covered in a Blinding white armor. The armor covered only half of her face, concealing the eyes from view. Her cheeks had red lines on them making it appears as if she was crying blood. She had waist-length black hair and two Ebony Wings were sticking from her back. The armor showed her midriff, and her wrists and ankles had long white chains connected to them via cuffs. But the thing that Naruto was captivated most by was the pitch black spear in her hands.

"Come at me and show me how strong your will is _BOY" _Rebuke said condescendingly as he took a fighting stance. Naruto just glared and launched at him…

**~In the Stands~**

"AHHH!" Naruko screamed as her head was filled with memories that she wasn't sure were her own. Sasuki could only watch in disbelief.

"…What the fuck is going on..." Sasuki whispered in horror as Madara went to go try to help the girl she now considered as sister, despite originally attempting to kill her.

"I don't know but if Naruto doesn't kick that bastard's ass I will. Madara muttered as her **Sharingan** flashed angrily.

**~Battle Field~**

**BGM: END**

**BGM: The Almighty**

*CRACK*

"**[Mind Charge]"** Rebuke said as he felt an influx of power course through his body. Naruto gathered a large amount of chakra in his hand as Rebuke raised his gun a second time.

*CRACK*

"**RASEN-SHURIKEN!"**

"**[Oho-Ikazuchi]"** Rebuke muttered as Izanami shot a wave of lightning from her left hand that quickly over-powered the jutsu and forced Naruto to flash out of its way.

***BOOOM***

Naruto gaped at the destruction in confusion.

"How **Rasen-Shuriken** is wind! It should have over-powered your lightning!" Naruto yelled at Rebuke, who was smirking at the blonde's distress.

"True but **[Mind Charge]** double's my magical power for a short amount of time, enabling me to over- power your technique." Rebuke said before raising his gun and pulling the trigger just as Naruto flashed away.

*CRACK*

*BAM*

Naruto managed to land a devastating blow to Rebuke's face just as he pulled the trigger. Rebuke was sent flying through the air by the force of the punch and slammed into a nearby wall.

"*cough* **[Debilitate]**" Rebuke gasped out as Naruto flashed in front of him, fist reared back. Before Naruto could land another hit, however, he was hit by the back of Izanami's spear and quickly found his body getting weaker. Glaring at Rebuke Naruto released another punch at his face, only to completely miss. Rebuke, using the blonde's confusion to his advantage, slammed his gun into Naruto's face, making the young ninja stumble backwards.

"How did I miss and why couldn't I dodge the hit?" Naruto asked groggily before falling down on his back.

"**[Debilitate] **Lowers your attack, defense, and hit/evasion rate by 40% for a short amount of time. " Rebuke said while holstering his first gun and pulling out a second one. _" He's knocked down I can hit him with an all out attack!"_ Rebuke thought before putting a clip into his second gun while jumping into the sky. "Suck it!" Rebuke yelled before releasing his bullets.

***BAM* *BAM* *BAM** BAM* *BAM***

"AHHHHH" Naruto screamed in pain, looking closer at the second gun, Naruto's eyes widened.

**BGM: END**

**-Flash ?-**

"_So what are you going to do with that gun __**?**__" Naruto asked a black-haired female , who smirked before turning towards a sunset. The two were on top of a building, along with three others, as the day slowly faded into night/_

"_With this gun, I will make this world __**Burn **__and from the ashes a better world will take its place with us as the rulers. This horrible place has taken so much from us, and I believe it's time for us to take back… That is if you all will stand by me?" The raven-haired woman asked while Naruko stepped forward with a smirk. She was wearing a black hoody, black cargo pants, Black Fingerless gloves, and on her left arm was a white band with the symbols__** X7**__ embroidered with a scarlet thread._

"_You know __**X7 **__always sticks together no matter what-ttebane!"_

"_She's right." A black-haired Rebuke agreed as Naruto and an Orange-haired boy nodded, all three wearing the same thing as Naruko._

"_Then tonight we'll celebrate my ascension to leader, and tomorrow we begin our conquest to destroy the ugly, but still, beautiful world." The raven-haired woman said before throwing on a large black overcoat, with __**X7 **__in bright red on the back, and jumping off of the building as the rest followed._

**-Flash? : End-**

**BGM:Persona 4: Ill face myself (Battle)**

"_What was that?"_ Naruto thought before pulling himself out of the ditch he was in once he felt his strength return. Suddenly he felt himself get pelted with similar memories as Rebuke launched himself at Naruto while pulling out his first gun, and holstering the second. Naruto looked at rebuke with tears in his eyes, causing Rebuke to hesitate, before glaring and jumping back as an orb of black destruction was forming in his hands, making Rebuke curse.

"_Damn! I thought he had remembered and I let my guard down! I can't let that move hit me!"_ Rebuke thought while raising the gun to his head.

*CRACK*

"**[Mind Charge]"** Rebuke shuddered as he tried to pull more energy from the skill while shakily raising the gun a second time.

*CRACK*

"**[World's End]"** Rebuke gasped as he felt blood drip from his nose as Izanami flew above the battle ground and gathered a majority of Rebuke's remaining energy into her hands. The ground, beneath Naruto shattered as he finished gathering his chakra.

**-In the stands-**

Naruko, who had regained her memories, fell to her knees as she watched two of the most important people to her fight to the death. When she looked up she paled when she realized what Izanami was doing.

**BGM: END**

-**Flash ?-**

"_**?-**__neesan! We're surrounded by soldiers from __**?,**__ there is no way we can be this many!" Naruko yelled as she and a black haired woman were surrounded by 100 soldiers clad in high-tech armor. "The others won't get here for 10 more minutes we can't win! We have to give up!"_

_*SMACK*_

"_SHUT UP! If we were taught anything from __**?**__ it was to never give up!." __**?**__ Roared as she pulled a silver gun to her temple making Naruko's eyes widen._

"_She can' t be serious! She's too tired, at the most she could probably take out 10 in her condition__." Naruko thought before glaring at her angrily." You think we stand a chance? Are you a __**FOOL!"**__ Naruko yelled in disbelie._

_*CRACK* _

"_Yeah I am. Now watch! __**[World's End]"**__**?**__ Stated before covering Naruko with her body as blood came from her nose. Naruko's vision was enveloped in purple._

_***BOOOOOM***_

_Excluding Naruko and __**?**__, there were no survivors._

_That day the members of __**X7**__ vowed to never give up ever again, a lesson that they swore they would keep._

_Even after their deaths._

**-Flash ?: END-**

**BGM: Persona 4: I'll face myself (Boss)**

**-On battle field-**

"**BIJUUDAMMA!" **Naruto roared as he released his technique at rebuke, but right before it connected an explosion of purple erupted from rebuke, colliding with his technique.

***BOOOOM***

"GIVE UP!" Rebuke roared from the epicenter of the purple blast.

"NEVER!" Naruto yelled with his arms extended towards the explosion.

**-In stands-**

"THIS IS INSANE!" Sakura screamed as the force field protecting them began to crack, even Riku and the Shinigami were wide-eyed at the display of the two.

"_**So this is the power of a human's will?...Interesting, but who will win?**_" Shinigami wondered to herself as her, and everyone else's, vision went white.

**-In a Plane of white-**

"Rebuke…what happened to you?" A sad Naruto asked as Rebuke holstered his gun.

"Life… I always kept saying it was a game, that I would beat it, and I did, but at what cost? I lost my friends...my family..._**her**_, and what do I have to show for it? Lousy immortality and to be forever alone.

"YOU IDIOT! What about Izanami? She is **her** last gift to you, and you sound like she's only a tool!" Naruto roared as Rebuke's eyes widened." I don't blame you for my death, I doubt anyone does, but I'll never forgive you if you spit on **her **memory!" Naruto yelled before running at Rebuke with his arm cocked back.

"Fine then we'll find out who's right, now!" Rebuke yelled while mirroring Naruto, when they met each other they both landed a devastating punch on the other's face.

**BGM: END**

**-On the battle field-**

**BGM: Naruto Shippuuden OST: Experienced many Battle.**

Rebuke stood over the down Naruto with a grimace before turning away as he looked at the Uzumaki –clan, or more specifically Naruko and the Shinigami.

"YOU SEE! No matter how much power a member of **X7** get's we can't beat this damned game!" Rebuke yelled while raising a gun to his head. "We will just lose any way! Please Shinigami-sama...i'm tired of fighting…let me DIE!" Rebuke yelled with tears in his eyes.

"_**Boy, you have been through a lot, but I can't stop your curse, you'll just have to try harder to beat it."**_ The Shinigami began before getting interrupted by a furious Rebuke.

"HARDER? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"_**Silence boy, Nothing is impossible. You human's just haven't unlocked all of your innate capabilities…one day… once you children of man have figured it out we will be on equal ground."**_

"*Sigh* If you really believe that bullshit that's on you."

*CRACK*

"I'll just have to make Naruto re-start until he can beat me. How many times will it take I wonder? 100 or 1000?" Rebuke said with a grim chuckle "**[Thousand Curses]"** Rebuke muttered as he turned to watch the crimson hands grab Naruto and drag him in to nothingness.

*POOF*

**BGM: INTERRUPTED**

**BGM: Naruto Shippuuden: Lightning Speed!**

"_WHAT?"_ Rebuke thought in disbelief before the ground cracked underneath him and Naruto came out, hitting him with a vicious uppercut sending him into the air.

"I won't let you…" Naruto began while grabbing Rebuke by the neck. " DECIDE HOW I LIVE!" Naruto finished while punching Rebuke repeatedly into the ground. "Let me decide *BAM* when I want to give up life*BAM* but until then *BAM* work on getting that stick out of your ass*BAM* and REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE! ***BAM***" Naruto finished the game master with a hard head-butt to the face, knocking him out instantly.

"_SON OF A BITCH! That hurt!" _Naruto thought while rubbing his head

**Hidden: Platinum Trophy Unlocked: Life is Not a Game.**

**Rebuke: DEFEATED**

**GAME: END**

**BGM: END**

**~10 minutes later~**

Rebuke awoke in pain and when he opened his eyes he found himself surrounded by the Uzumaki-clan. Standing up he, wincing when he saw them tense, he turned to the Shinigami. "I guess… there is hope after all…" Rebuke admitted as the Shinigami smirked when his still summoned persona huffed and handed her 200,000 Ryou.

"I guess this is goodbye, stay strong, I will need your help on **Judgement Day**" Rebuke said, and was about to cancel Izanami's summon, before stopping. He powered turned **Izanami-No-Okami** back into Izanami and turned to her. "Let's get home Izanami, maybe I can teach how to cook." He said with a chuckle as his white haired companion's eyes widened.

"HEY! Make sure Ichigo get's his ass in gear! I wanna spar with him again!" Naruto yelled to Rebuke before adding. " And get a Job or something being cooped up in one room can't be healthy!" Making Rebuke turn to Izanami in annoyance.

"Did you have to tell him that?"

"_**Sorry master, but it is true…you need a hobby!"**_ Rebuke just got a thoughtful expression.

"Fine I'll open up a store or something in Karakura, now let's go we have another member to find!" And with that Rebuke and Izanami disappeared from the world of Shinobi.

**~White Room~**

Looking down on the planet where the Uzumaki clan resides, Rebuke saw a dark aura vanish from the small blue orb. Gazing happily at the planet's returned beauty, Rebuke could only sigh contently.

"The curse has been lifted from them and now the souls of the dead can go into the afterlife…there game has been beaten." Rebuke said happily before glaring at a pitch black orb. "Now to deal with souls here… It's been corrupted so long that the Shinigami believe that the **Soul Society** is the true after life."

*BOOOM*

"….Izanami you do not put tinfoil in the microwave…"

"_**Sorry Master…"**_

**AN: And that's that also for you person fans World's End is NOT Armageddon… it's an actual move of a CERTAIN boss in persona 4**

**AN2: *DANCE PART* Time for Bakudo X**

**AN3: Read and review…Come on….it's the last chapter…**

**~RebukeX7**


	27. OMAKE 1

**Disclaimer: if I owned Naruto chapter 559 would have went differently.**

**You know I HAD to do this (Spoilers for 559)**

**Warning spell check/ grammar**

**(Yes that does mean I just pulled this out of my ass in 45 minutes)**

**OMAKE**

**~Uzumaki Clan house~**

We see the Uzumaki clan in a dining hall watching Rebuke pace back and forward in a Sherlock Holmes disguise as Izanami stood by in a similar outfit minus the hat.

"Yo Rebuke what's going on?" Naruto asked as he entered the room making Rebuke give a solemn look. Taking his pipe out of his mouth he told Naruto to sit.

"Now that Naruto is here we can get on to business." Rebuke said with a British accent. "Naruto my good boy I have come to you this evening to tell you that one of your family members are not who they claim." Rebuke said gravely as Naruto paled and Madara began to sweat frantically, unnoticed by all except Izanami.

"WHAT THE HELL! How is that even possible? The guide should hav-"

"The guide isn't complete it was just formed from the knowledge that I did have on your universe. Hell as far as I know there might be a sequel to the game." Rebuke said as Naruto's eyes got big as the rest of the clan began glancing at each other warily.

"Don't worry I place a barrier on this room when you walked in nobody will get out till we discover who the culprit is. We can rule out team 7,Shion,Moryo,Akane, Amaru, Haku, Tsunade, Danzo, Minato, and Kushina" Rebuke said before rounding on Naruko. "WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WAVE ARC?"

"What the hell Rebuke we're friends why are you suspecting me-ttebane!" Naruko yelled in righteous fury as Rebuke sighed.

"Sorry, but nobody can be trusted! Now ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!" Rebuke roared.

"FINE! I'll tell you."

**~Narukoverse: Before wave arc~**

Naruko was glaring up at a smirking Sasuki who just blew up a good amount of Orochimaru's hideout.

"Come back to Konoha!" Naruko yelled as Sasuki snorted.

"Why would I go back to that worthless village?"

"Because that's where all of your friends are! What could Orochimaru possible offer you?"

"Health care benefits and a dental plan."

"Ex-what?" Naruko asked in disbelief as Sasuki summoned a large board that had a graph on it.

"You see…" Sasuki began as she put on some glasses. "…Sound gives its employees not only a good working community, but health care benefits and great pay. As junior CEO of sound Inc. I get paid 60,000 Ryou per hour making sure that our community is prepared for the eventual war on the world." Sasuki said as Naruko gaped.

"In fact if you join now I'll let you get some of the stock so that when we do accomplish our goals you will have a great place to retire early to with your newfound wealth." Naruko gaped some more.

"Also with Sound enterprises we plan to-_*Ring*_ forgive me…Hello?" Sasuki asked as she pulled out a cell phone and began talking on it. "Hmm you say Akatsuki had the audacity to deny a merge? Fine then." Suddenly Orochimaru appeared next to Sasuki in a female business suit.

"Did you hear abou-" Orochi was cut off.

"Yup they want to remain competitors lets run through this at the meeting." And with that Sasuki and Orochimaru flame **shunhinned **away leaving a gaping Naruko behind. Suddenly Naruko felt a pull on her body and disappeared from her dimension.

**~Flash Back End~**

The room was quiet as everyone looked at Naruko in blatant shock as she finished her tale. Rebuke coughed uncomfortably before turning to his next suspect.

"SHINIGAMI WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE?" Rebuke roared as the goddess of death looked at him in blatant awe.

"_**Child of man you must have balls the size of basketballs to talk to me like that…wow…"**_Shinigami said in morbid fascination as Rebuke sweat dropped. Shinigami kept watching him for about two more minutes still in awe that somebody was that retarded. _**"Well I guess I'll answer your question, but seriously for you to forget your place like that is astounding."**_ This time everybody sweat dropped. _**"Well I was…"**_

**~Flash Back Before Final battle~**

"_SHINIGAMI WHERE DID YOU PUT THE LAST KLONDIKE BAR"_ A loud feminine voice boomed as the Shinigami broke into a cold sweat coughing uncomfortably he looked at his elder sister nervously.

"_**Well you see I got hungry and well I didn't particularly see your name on it so…"**_ The god of death broke into a cold sweat when he saw the gentle smile on his sister's face. He knew that look; it was the look she gets when she gets a vision of the future that would greatly affect your life in a horrible way.

"_Huh well since my name wasn't on it I guess your name wasn't on this vision then huh? I would LOVE to share it with you but you are going to find out eventually."_ Kami said with a chuckle as the Shinigami seemed to pale.

"_**Now that's just not fair… I could die for all I know and you won't give your own lil brother the info?"**_ The Shinigami said in despair as the goddess of life chuckled.

"_I guess you're right. You know that time I had you go shopping with me in the human realm?"_At his nod she continued._" Let's just say that was good practice for you…"_

"_**SISTER PLEASE!"**_ The Shinigami pleaded before feeling a familiar tug of a summoning course through his body. As he felt himself fade from the realm he could sworn he heard his sister giggling about finally having a baby sister.

**~Flash Back End~**

The familiar quiet coursed through the room again before Izanami looked toward her master.

"_**Master! Please open the door I have to go to the bathroom!"**_ Rebuke nodded and broke the barrier on the door allowing Izanami to leave.

"_Do personas even use the bathroom?"_ Rebuke thought to himself before shrugging, it wasn't really important. He quickly turned to Riku.

"WHERE WERE YOU-"

"Pwning your bitch ass in every way possible at life." Riku said simply, making everyone look at her with wide eyes. Rebuke glared at her, making her tilt her head in confusion. "You mad bro?" She asked with a smirk._"That's right attack me! Give me a reason so I can beat your ass for that fight against Naruto."_

**~Behind the door~**

Izanami peeked through the door with a sigh.

"_**Master…you're not even healed yet please don't start a fight." **_ Izanami pleaded to herself knowing that in Rebuke's current condition he would get his ass handed to him…

…Badly.

No seriously like you know how there is beating somebody's ass then REALLY beating somebody's ass? Well Riku would-err getting sidetracked.

**BGM: Detective Conan: Main Theme**

Izanami sighed before pulling out a senbon needle as she saw Rebuke about to pull out his gun. Silently thanking Haku for showing her how to throw one of them, she hit Rebuke in the back of his kneck making him fall down on to a chair and fall asleep. Quickly de-summoning herself she went back into her master's soul and overtook his body.

**~Back in Dining Hall~**

The possessed Rebuke pulled out the senbon before turning back to the stunned family with a smirk. Naruto walked up to Rebuke in concern.

"You okay?" The possessed Rebuke nodded before turning toward the family.

"**I have solved the case!"** Rebuke said with a smirk as the clan gaped and Madara went pale.

"BULL SHIT!" Sasuki exclaimed. "All you did was get three unhelpful alibis!"

"**Hush noob it's no time for your common sense."** Rebuke said with a smirk before continuing. **"The Culprit is YOU!"** Rebuke roared while pointing at a sweating Madara.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW!" Madara shrieked as the clan gaped.

"**First you were the most frightened about the news than anyone else!"** Rebuke stated as Madara flinched back as if physically hurt.** "Secondly when looking at the list of people able to be summoned by Edo-tensei I noticed YOUR name!"** Cue flinch **"Finally!** **The Narukoverse "Madara Uchiha" is one bra size smaller!"** Naruto looked at Madara sadly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Naruto pleaded as Madara looked down sadly.

"I didn't think it mattered…by the time everything was said and done I didn't believe my real identity mattered." Madara said softly as Naruto gave her a hug.

"It's okay I guess the only thing that would change about you would be your _NAME" _Naruto said dismissively. "Everyone wanna just pretend tonight didn't happen?" Everyone in the clan nodded their heads before Naruko stepped toward the pseudo-Madara.

"So who are you?" Madara leaned in and whispered something in her ear that made her eyes grow to the size of saucers. "…No way…" Naruko whispered in awe.

"Uggh what happened?" Rebuke said as he rubbed his eyes.

"_**You solved another case master!"**_ Izanami said from inside his soul making him chuckle.

"_Wow I'm like the best detective ever!"_ Rebuke thought before frowning in confusion. _"How come you always de-summon when I solve a case?"_

"_**Because your genius mind becomes so focused that my body can't maintain itself for long?"**_ Izanami tried hoping her clueless master would leave the subject alone.

"_But of course!"_ Rebuke thought to himself in satisfaction, not hearing Izanami sigh. "Well, see you guys later because this case…" Rebuke began before putting on some sunglasses.

**BGM: END**

"…Is closed"

*_YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_*

**AN1: this just came to me when I was reading the latest chapter lol sorry if its bad but I HAD to write it after Kishi almost potentially fucked my story over xD.**

**An2: Read and Review also has anyone read the side-story? I wouldn't be surprised since I didn't announce it, but I was curious.**

**~RebukeX&**


	28. Movie: Journey for the Arcana Force

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach**

**(Usual Warnings) **

**(Ps top reviewers might find cameos in the film.)**

**I know some of you are like WTF? I know this was random and had no warning at all but… well I felt like it!**

**Now it's time for…**

**LIAG: THE MOVIE! (Kinda)**

**Journey for the Arcana Force!**

**(Takes place post NLIAG and during rescue Rukia Bakudo X)**

**Contains Spoilers for NLIAG and does not effect Bakudo X in anyway.**

**ACT 1: Rebuke's Mistake ( Don't worry all three parts are in this chapter)**

**~White Room~**

**BGM: Sponge bob Best day ever **

"IT's the best day Ever!" A white haired boy yelled while skipping merrily around his headquarters. "I've finally got the amount of energy to recruit the rest of my generals to start the war! **Judgement Day** will end with our victory and the blood of our enemies!" Rebuke yelled to himself. "Finally centuries of hard work finally over with. Nothing can go wrong!" Rebuke yelled before freezing mid jump.

**Record Scratch!**

"…Dear lord…I didn't just say that out loud!" Rebuke said in fear as he was too late to stop himself from saying the worst thing ever. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!" Rebuke yelled angrily.

After living for hundreds of years one thing had become apparent to our white haired hero and that is **NEVER SAY "NOTHING CAN GO WRONG"! **Rebuke buried his face into his hands before turning to the main door in his office.

"_Fuck…3…2…1-"_

*SLAM!*

Rebuke just stared blankly at his disheveled looking assistant, who was obviously scared and nervous. Rebuke shook his before staring at his white haired assistant.

"…_**Master…"**_ Izanami began looking very scared.

"Yes Izanami…?" Rebuke asked despondently.

"_**I…."**_ Izanami said looking down to the ground.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Speak up please."

"_**I lost the….."**_ She mumbled again.

"OUT WITH IT WOMAN!" Now normally Rebuke was a very calm individual and would never raise his voice at a woman especially not his lifelong assistant, but he knew from jinxing himself earlier that what she had to say would **not** be good.

…And for once the Gods allowed him to be correct in his thinking.

"_**I LOST THE ARCANA FORCE!"**_ Izanami squeaked as Rebuke's tanned skin turned white. He stared at the woman for a little longer before finally saying…

"Bullshit." He stated refusing to believe her.

" _**I'm sorry but it's true!"**_

"You lost the fucking Arcana Force." Rebuke said with an eye twitch.

"_**Yes."**_

"The same Arcana Force that allows us to manipulate reality the way that we do?" Cue more eye twitches.

"_**Mhmm"**_ Izanami replied in fear as she took a step back.

"The same Arcana Force that I _STOLE_ from the younger, but almost as dangerous, sister of the bitch I'm making this army to kill." Rebuke said while stepping closer to her as she stepped further back. She just nodded her head.

**HOW!**

Rebuke's booming voice shook the room and caused Izanami to glare back at him.

"_**Don't raise your voice at me!"**_ She yelled as her eyes flashed gold for a second. Rebuke took a deep breath and calmed his self down a little…

…but not much.

"Izanami you can't expect me not to be pissed. You just lost the source of my power." Rebuke deadpanned as Izanami gained a hurt look.

**BGM: Persona 4 OSt: Ill face my self -battle-**

"_**I'm your power remember?"**_ She asked with sadness in her. _**"Remember I am thou and thou art I."**_ Izanami mutter as she pointed at her master who, in his rage, shook his head and said the worst words to EVER come out of his mouth.

**YOU'RE NOT ME!**

He boomed again as she clenched her fist as tears fell down her eyes. His eyes widened at his words but before he could apologize…

"_**Fine then…" **_She growled as her eyes went from ruby to gold. _**"You want to see how much I'm not like you?"**_ She asked as her skin turned to a pale shade of blue.

"Izanami wait!" Rebuke yelled, trying to get her to her senses, but was too late. Her hair turned pitch black along with the whites of her eyes. Rebuke fell to his knees as a horrible pain shot through his chest.

"AHHH!" Rebuke screamed as a small rectangular shape forced itself from his chest. Looking down in horror, Rebuke saw a card with Izanami's picture inside of it turn pitch black and burn in a black flame.

"_**You want to save everything right?"**_ Izanami asked with a tilt of her head. _**"Well then, I'll find the Arcana Force and DESTROY everything, but don't worry I won't make you watch."**_ She then formed a pitch black spear in her right hand and lunged it toward her former master.

*CRACK!*

*CLANG*

"_**AHH!"**_

"**Yoshitsune."** Rebuke muttered as the red-clad samurai blocked the spear with the blade in his left hand and stabbed Izanami in the shoulder with the blade in his right.

"**Tch. Fine then I see you still have some skill, but remember this I will destroy you." **Izanami stated as her voice grew darker. **[Oho-Ikazuchi]** Izanami launched a powerful wave of lightning at our favorite game master and teleported away.

***BOOOM***

**-BGM:END-**

**~Velvet Room~**

**BGM: Persona 4 Ost: Aria of the Soul**

"**You fucked up."** Igor and Rose deadpanned as they stared at Rebuke who sweat dropped.

"*sigh* I know. And I can already tell that Alice has begun trying to reclaim her Arcana Force, with her and Izanami both searching to destroy everything we may be fucked. It's a good thing Yoshitsune repelled most of the lightning before it could touch me." Rebuke said rubbing his temples as Rose walked towards him.

"I know where it is, but you have to hurry without anyone to stabilize it, it's going berserk." Rose said seriously as Rebukes eyes widened.

"Shit. Where is it?"

"At the edge of the universe, good luck getting there bitch." Rose somehow said politely as Rebuke's eye twitched.

"You're not going to take me?" Rebuke asked incredulously as Rose snorted.

"Hell no. Do you know how much gas costs these days?" She asked as Igor nodded his head in agreement.

"Fine then I'll have to get a ride my way." Rebuke glared as he stood up.

**BGM: END**

**~MEAN WHILE BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY: California~**

A guy named Ted was parked on the side of the road while reading the newest work from his favorite fanfiction author, RebukeX7, on his tablet.

"This is fucking Hilarious!" Ted laughed before he noticed a crack appear on his tablet. "What the…?"

Suddenly an arm shot out from the screen and punched him in the face. A body then pulled itself from the tablet revealing himself to be none other than RebukeX7…wielding a gun.

"GET OUTTA THE FUCKING CAR!"

"Wh-" Ted began before noticing the gun pointed at him.

"I SAID GET OUT!"

"BU-"

*Click*

*Slam*

Ted slammed the door of his car as he ran away. Rebuke sighed as he got into the driver's seat of the white Cadillac-XTS 2011 model.

*Ring*

"Yes?" Rebuke asked as he answered his phone.

"_Did you just Car jack that guy?" _Rebuke smirked as he heard Rose's voice filled with disbelief.

"Yup." And with that Rebuke hung up and turned on his radio.

**BGM: California Love**

"Time to go save the Universe." Rebuke said while putting on some shades. _"Hmm what's this?_" Rebuke wondered as he saw a bag of, what he assumed was grass, and some poorly wrapped cigarettes._"I don't smoke, but I think I'm going to need a cigarette with all this stress. It smells funny must be a new type of tobacco."_

**BGM: END**

**~MEANWHILE BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY~**

**Bleach OST: Invasion**

We now join Ichigo Kurosaki, blade raised high and slashing at some 1000 feet tall hollows that had destroyed most of the Seireitei with a barrage of Ceroes.

…wait what?

"What the fuck is going on?" Ichigo yelled as he released more waves of black energy at the swarms of Grande Menos Grandes

"**I don't know but don't you dare stop fighting!"** Zangetsu commanded. **"LOOK OUT!"** Zangetsu yelled at Ichigo. Ichigo turned around to see another GMG™ about to step on him.

"**Ban…KAI!"** A voice yelled and Ichigo looked in awe as the third captain, Gin Ichimaru, sliced the over-sized hollow in half vertically. Gin landed and spun around and glared at Aizen with an insane expression. "WAS THIS PART OF YOUR PLAN TOO MOTHER FUCKER!" Aizen coughed and began.

"Well you se-"

"No just no. Shut the Fuck up and admit when you don't understand what's going on! One of them even attacked you!" Gin roared.

"Well you see with my complete-" Aizen caught up in his speech didn't notice the GMG behind him charging a cero.

***BOOOM***

All that was left were his shoes.

"Whats going on?" Ichigo roaredagain as he put on a hand on his face. A black flame covered his face and unleashed his hollow mask.

"I don't know but there are only a few left. What I saw was that they seemed to appear from within a black portal that was formed when I purple bolt of lightning struck the ground." Gin replied as Yoruichi landed next to them along with a heavily injured Uryu and a scared Orihime.

"Orihime heal Uryu me Ichigo and Gin wil-" Yoruichi began before being cut off by a hysterical Ichigo

"**Look out!"** Ichigo yelled as he saw a GMG attempt to body slam them all. "**Getsuga…TENSHOU!" ** Ichigo roar with all his might as he released the biggest, non final, Getsuga Tenshou, he ever had.

***BOOOM***

"*Pant* **I can't** *pant* **Go on**" Ichigo panted as his mask shattered. He fell to his knees and looked around toward Yoruichi. "I killed 300 of these bastards there is one left he stated and glared at the GMG that remained. Soon, however, his glare turned into one of horror as the remaining GMG began to glow bright red. "MOVE!"

"**SHUNKO!"**

***BOOOM!***

**BGM: END**

**-1 hour later-**

"*Cough* what happened?" Ichigo wondered as he pushed something from on top of him. Looking down he could only watch in morbid fascination as Yourichi's lifeless body fell off of him. Tears began to fill his eyes as he realized what happened.

**-Flash-**

**BGM: Precipice of Defeat**

"_**SHUNKO!"**_ _Yoruichi roared as she flash in front of Ichigo just as the blast went off. "Might as well tell you now…" She began as the light came closer to them. "I lo-"_

_The world went white_

_And Yoruichi __**knew Pain**_

_**-**_**Flash: End-**

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was going to say Ichigo clenched his eyes shut as a wave of nausea went over him.

"**I'm sorry Ichigo." **Zangetsu said sincerely.** "If only the cheats work, or if-" **Her rant was cut off by the most heart breaking sound she had ever heard.

"AHHH_**RGHHHHHH"**_ The malevolent roar of the now turned vasto-lorde seemed to echo throughout the universe. Zangetsu watched sadly as I tidal wave easily bigger than the hollows they were fighting loomed over the city in Ichigos soul. Zangetsu just sat down and watched the water come towards her.

***BAM!***

Ichigo and the now submerged turned to see a figure walk out of the portal with a pissed expression on its face.

**~Flash Back one hour: BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY!~**

"Achoo!" Nagato sneezed as he walked towards the Uzumaki clan house. "_Someone somewhere has experienced a lot of pain...hmm hope they didn't get blown up." _The sky began to darken and suddenly. Through his years of ninja experience Nagato could tell something bad was about to go down and silently cursed. "Damn it of all the times for most of the clan to be out on missions, why today?" Nagato muttered to himself as a bright flash of purple landed in the center of the village.

***BAM***

The resulting shock wave destroyed most of the village by itself, but luckily Nagato managed to counter most of the explosion with a powerful **Shinra Tensei.** Thanks to Nagato's jutsu the Clan house and its inhabitants were spared.

Let me rephrase that.

The clan house and it's, now awakened and pissed off, inhabitants were spared.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? ~TTEBANE!" A now pissed off girl covered in a golden flame with whisker marks appeared in a yellow flash next to Nagato.

"I must say… I am very displeased when my beauty sleep is interrupted." Came a voice as the air next to flaming girl became distorted. From the air pocket appeared a tall rave haired female who had a crimson right eye with three pupils surrounding the center pupil. Her long hair covered her left eye from view.

**BGM: NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OST2: Kakuten!**

"Naruko look out!" Nagato yelled as what looked like a pitch black figure appeared behind her. Looking closer at the figure it could be described as nothing more than a shadow with blank white anbu mask. Its right arm was distorted into what looked like a pitch black katana blade. The blade was aimed at Naruko's back, but luckily she managed to flash away just in time.

"What the hell!" Naruko shouted at the figure. "Who are you and why are you destroying my home!"

"…" the figure said before two more identical figures appeared on its left and right. With no more words the figures attacked.

"**Shinra…TENSEI!" **Nagato used his noob repllent…er… _signature Jutsu_ on the figures but to his and his clan mates, surprise the figures acted as if a gust of when hit them and kept running at them, not slowing down in the slightest.

"**Planetary Rasengan!"** Naruko yelled as she flashed in front of the first figure and planted the devastating attack into its chest, but to her horror the technique began to sink into its black skin and reform in the figure's left hand.

"**[Planetary Rasengan X 10]" **Naruko's voice came from the figure as it launched its attack at Naruko who flashed to the side as the attack hit the ground next to her.

***BOOOM***

The explosion was greater than Naruko could believe. It was so great that the shockwave flung her into a tree and Nagato into the side of the house. Madara just faded through it though.

…that lucky bitch.

"You know Madara that is not fair." Naruko deadpanned as she flashed next to her best friend.

"You mad?" Madara asked with _**The Original Uchiha smirk™**_

"Not now you troll." Naruko stated while shaking her head at Madara's antics. "These things can copy attacks and make them at least 10 times more powerful be careful."

**BGM: END**

"Tch. It's so obvious how to beat these weaklings." Madara said with a roll of her eye as she stepped toward the three figures. Before they could do anything their masks were embedded with Kunai causing them to fall into a puddle of black liquid. "See?" Madara asked as she looked at her friend condescendingly. "Who's the noob now bitch?"

It's a love hate relationship.

"Shut up you SILF we still have to figure out where these bastards came from." Naruko growled at Madara, who had obtained a confused expression. Unbeknownst to them the three puddles began to form into one body.

"Umm guys…" Madara began to stand up as he saw the body being formed.

"Umm SILF?" Madara had to ask as she wasn't sure if she was insulted or not.

"Sociopath I'd like to Fu-" She began without missing a beat.

"GUYS!" Nagato yelled.

"What you damn P-blocker!" Naruko growled in righteous fury as Nagato deadpanned and pointed behind them. Turning around they saw a single Pitch black figure that was three times the size of the previous ones. It had three heads, six arms, and six legs. "…Fuck. Where's Naruto when you need him?"

**-Meanwhile 160 miles away-**

"Well it's time to head back." Naruto, the Rokudaime Hokage, thought to himself as he began his trek back to his village after leaving the Kage summit. "3..2.1 make some noise!" Naruto sang to himself._"Such a wonderful day look at the little woodland creatures. Nothing can go wrong…"_ Naruto suddenly stopped with wide eyes.

"**I hate you SO much right now."** Akane growled at her host as he thought the same thing she did the day she met Madara.

"Fuck." Naruto muttered to himself.

**-Konoha-**

"**[Self destruct X 30]" **

Just as the monster was about to explode Nagato shunshined infront of the monster and began to absorb the energy from the monster. Naruko and Madara gave a sigh of relief as Nagato absorbed the monster successfully.

*_CRACK*_

Madara and Naruko both paled when the unmistakable sound of Nagato's bones breaking was heard.

"Nagato whats wrong?" Madara asked the male counterpart of her previous second in command in concern.

"…It wasn't…*CRACK*…Chakra…*Crack*…Ru-"

***BOOM!***

**BGM: NARUTO OST: SADNESS AND SORROW**

The explosion rocked the very foundation of Konoha the mysterious energy hit everything including Madara. Because of Naruko's added defense she didn't get a swift death like her friend, but she wouldn't survive…and she knew it. Naruko barely had time to register the horrified expression on her husband's face. She knew he would blame himself for not being there, and she tried to reassure him that everything was ok, but the darkness came too quick.

"NARUKO!" Naruto yelled horrified at the destruction around him. He could do nothing but fall down and look at the remains of his village in morbid fascination.

**-With The Shinigami-**

"You have to send us back before he does something stupid!" The ethereal form of Madara yelled at the strongest member in her clan, who had a look of great sadness.

"_**I want to, but you two have no bodies' to return to."**_ The Shinigami said as she watched Naruko break down in tears.

**-With Naruto-**

"**Kit…" **Akane said trying to calm her host down, but it was no use as Naruto was too emotionally hurt to be helped.

"I swear…whoever did this…will _**Die.**_" Naruto growled as he stood up. "They had the nerve to come to _**my village**_ and kill _**My **_MATES!" Naruto roared as his eyes went crimson.

***BAM***

A flash of purple caught Naruto's attention as he saw a black vortex appear in the middle of his destroyed village. Trusting his faithful gut, Naruto quickly activated **Sage Mode **and his **Nine-tails Chakra Mode **and flashed toward the vortex unknowingly into one of his hardest adventures yet.

**-Fade out-**

* Intermission*

"Time for your favorite part of the movie!" Rebuke said in glee. "COMMERCIALS!"

**BGM: Bleach: Get smart**

"At Rebukes-"

"GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE!" someone yelled at our hero.

**Record scratch**

"HEY who said that!" Rebuke yelled pulling out his gun.

"I did." Turning around Rebuke turned around just in time to get a round house kick to the jaw. A hush went over the audience as they stared at the very man who could do _anything_.

That's right.

Chuck fucking Norris.

"Let's resume the film." Chuck said before glaring at the screen forcing it to turn on as Rebuke laid face down in a puddle of his own blood.

**-Fade in-**

**~Seireitei Current time~**

As our favorite blonde haired ninja stepped out of the portal he came face to face with a creature of pure evil. It had milky white skin, long orange hair,and two horns sticking out from the side of its head. Naruto stared down at the monster before chuckling.

**Bleach Ost: Treachery**

"You're the one who destroyed my home? Funny I thought you would be stronger." Naruto said as he formed a **Rasen-shuriken** in his right hand. Ichigo in his berserk state only managed to see Naruto come out of a portal Identical to the one that caused the death of his loved ones and assumed Naruto was the reason behind his anguish.

"**Wait Ichigo it's a misunderstanding!"** Zangetsu tried to explain to Ichigo, but the water from his turmoil made her unable to be heard. Ichigo gave a final roar then attacked. Ichigo got behind Naruto in no time at all with **Tensa Zangetsu** raised high. Naruto, while surprised at Ichigo's speed, only smirked before simply dropping his justsu on the ground and flashing away from the resulting explosion.

***BOOOM***

"…**.Kill…"** Naruto heard from the cloud of dust and grinned when he saw Ichigo walked away from the crater.

"Tch. Good thing you're alive I want you to _suffer_ for what you have done!" Naruto then threw both of his arms back, formed a **Rasen-shuriken **in each, and unleashed the disks of doom at the berserk Ichigo. Ichigo growled and released two black waves of death at the disks causing the attacks to cancel each other out and cause another explosion. Naruto flashed before Ichigo in a crouch and attempted to uppercut the berserk Ichigo, but quickly found a black blade buried to the hilt through his chest.

*Poof*

"**Rasen-Rengan!"** Naruto yelled as he thrust both of the spiraling spheres into Ichigo's back pushing him forward 10 feet. _"This thing is unbelievable! He might be my match!" _Naruto thought in disbelief. Ichigo quickly spun around completely intent on beheading the blonde ninja but hit thin air as the flaming boy disappeared in a yellow flash.

"**Destroy…Youruichi…Rukia…Uryu…Chad…Orihime…"** the beast growled as it slowly approached.

"WHO ARE THEY THE REST OF THE PEOPLE YOU'VE KILLED?" Naruto roared before sending a barrage of Chakra claws at the beast in front of him. Ichigo, only understanding part of what Naruto asked, got the wrong Idea and roared again. Ichigo quickly used **Tensa Zangetsu** to decimate the claws, but when he looked for Naruto again he saw nothing. Ichigo quickly sensed Naruto behind him again and swung his blade behind him, only to miss when Naruto ducked down at the last second. **"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"** Naruto slammed his hand on the ground causing Ichigo to be surrounded by smoke. When the smoke cleared Zangetsu couldn't believe her eyes.

"**HOLY SHIT THAT'S A BIG FROG!"**

Naruto from on top of Gamabunta gave his order.

"Gamabunta the oil!" Naruto roared as the frog boss leaped into the sky and sprayed Ichigo and a lot of the surrounding area with a brown liquid. Naruto then tossed an exploding kunai at Ichigo.

***Boom***

Ichigo and the surrounding area lit up in a sea of flames and Naruto idly wondered if he got him. Naruto watched with wide eyes as a sea of black rushed at him.

*Poof*

Naruto quickly de-summoned Gamabunta and flashed to safety behind some of the debris. _"Shit this is unreal! This guy is completely tanking my strongest Jutsus!"_ Naruto thought incredulously.

**BGM: END**

"**Naruto wait!" **Akane ordered. **"Look around at the bodies lying around and tell me what you see!"**

Naruto did as he was told and couldn't help but widen his eyes.

"_Oh my God there are no slash marks!"_ Naruto thought incredulously.

"**More importantly there is no blood on his blade which only means he didn't do this. Judging by how he fights he's too wild and uncontrolled, meaning that whatever happened here must have hurt him badly."** The word's hits Naruto hard as he realized that he may have been wrong. Naruto looked up and saw something that nearly made him break down right there. Naruto sat in front of a sign that said "_Rebuke's Food Service"_. Finally the pieces started falling together.

"_FUCK! If Rebuke is here than that means…."_ Naruto closed his prayed that he was wrong. "A-a-kane…" Naruto began shakily.

"**Yes?"**

"What color was that monsters hair?" Naruto, for once in his life, prayed that the answer was blue.

"**Orange?"**

"_FUCK ICHIGO!"_ Naruto mentally roared as he realized that he might have been fighting his pseudo brother this entire time. The next thing Naruto heard chilled his blood.

"**!"**

***BOOM***

Came the roar of Ichigo as he destroyed the remains of the building Naruto was hiding behind. Naruto flashed to his feet and quickly spun around to face the demonic Ichigo.

"_Fuck! I don't have enough time to do a Jutsu! Well maybe I can by myself some time." _Naruto thought to himself.

**BGM: NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OST: HEAVEN SHAKING EVENT**

"**U-"** Naruto yelled as he released a vicious punch to Ichigo's chest.

"**ZU-" **Naruto swung his other fist making Ichigo step back from the force.

"**MA-" ** Naruto then jumped up and planted both of his feet on Ichigo's and reached forward.

"**KI-" **Grabbing Ichigo by his horns, the blonde flipped over Ichigo still holding the horns.

"**NARUTO BARRAGE!: Bull Version!"**Naruto roared and with all of his strength, tossed Ichigo across the battle field into a white tower.

"**Naruto I know how to stop him!"**

"_HOW?"_

"**When you grabbed him by the horns I notice his power slip you have to destroy them!"** Akane told her host making him smirk.

"Great I'll bring him back to his senses!"

"**!"** Ichigo began charging a ball of crimson light between his horns making Naruto Narrow his eyes.

"Tch. Let's see how he handles this." Naruto began to form an orb of darkness within his hands as he glared at Ichigo. As the size of th Crimson orb grew the weight of the black orb grew as well causing the ground to crack underneath Naruto._ "Only one shot at this."_

"**AHHHHH!"**

**-Insert cero release sound-**

"**BIJUU DAMA!" **The wave of energy released from Naruto's hands and collided with the crimson beam causing the world to be covered in a blinding light.

~**In the sea of blinding light~**

A child Naruto was standing in front of an orange haired little boy who had horns ejecting from his head. Naruto walked up to the boy and noticed that he was crying.

"_Do the horns hurt?"_ Naruto's voice echoed throughout the area making the orange haired kid look up.

"_So much…Please help me…"_The boy asked with tears in his eyes and winced when Naruto grabbed a hold of his horns.

"_You have to trust me though okay?" _Naruto asked the boy nodded his head and Naruto pulled the horns.

"_AHHHH!"_

**~Seireitei~**

**BGM: END**

Naruto back in his normal form stood tiredly in front of a weak Ichigo with both of Ichigo's horns in his hands.

"Thank you." Ichigo said before passing out.

"Any time." Naruto responded with a chuckled.

***BAM***

**BGM :Smoke Weed Every Day- Snoop Doog feat Dr. Dre**

A portal opened and a white card drove out from it and landed in front of Naruto. Naruto could only look in awe as smoke blew out of the window when the rolled down.

"HAHA Naru, my man, whats goin on?" Rebuke laughed loudly. "Yo dawg we bout to go on a big journey, I'll explain later, toss strawberry up in here so we can get out this bitch before the portal closes motha fucka!"

"_What the hell has Rebuke been hanging out with Killer bee? Oh well I get my answers soon enough." _And with that though Naruto pulled Ichigo's body into the car and rode off into the portal with Rebuke.

**~5 hours later~**

**BGM END**

**ACT 2: Search for the mystic artifacts.**

Ichigo woke up with a groan and searched his surroundings and to his surprise he was sitting in a restaurant with Rebuke and a blonde he's never met before.

"Hey look he's up." The blonde said with a smile as Ichigo wiped his eyes.

"Where am I and who are you?" Ichigo asked curiously as he was sure he had met the blonde somewhere.

"That's Naruto, Yes _THAT_ Naruto, and you are in IHOP." Rebuke said while putting apiece of pancake in his mouth. After getting over the shock of eating with one of his favorite anime characters, Ichigo had to ask…

"Why?" Ichigo asked honestly confused as hell.

"Cause Rebuke here accidently got high and now is suffering from the biggest case of munchies that I have ever seen." Naruto said seriously. Ichigo just shook his head before remembering what exactly happened before he lost control.

"OH MY GOD EVERY-"

"CALM DOWN!" Rebuke shouted before sighing. "Yes a lot of your friends are dead but I plan to fix that, however, to do that would require that you keep a level head ok?" Rebuke waited for Ichigo nod his head. "Good now eat your pancakes they're getting cold."

**-30 minutes later-**

"Ok…" Rebuke placed his fork down with a sigh. "Ok here's the deal in order for me to bring your loved ones back I'm going to need to get my power-" Rebuke stopped and shook his head with a grimace. "An object back called the Arcana Force." Rebuke corrected himself. "But in order to do that I need to acquire three hidden objects that will allow us to travel to the edge of the universe and bring it back." Rebuke said seriously. "Now we need to put our heads together as the first hidden object we need to find is the **Golden** **Cat statue.** The clue that I have is only one word: **Cake"** Rebuke frowned as he tried to decipher the meaning, "What the hell is cake going to mean?"

**BGM: Detective Conan Main Theme**

"Well cake is sweet?" Ichigo put in with a sweat drop as Zangetsu snorted.

"**No shit Ichigo, that has to be the dumbest thing you have ever-"**

"THAT'S IT!" Rebuke exclaimed with wide eyes as Zangetsu sputtered in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Naruto inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Tell me what the opposite of sweet is?" Rebuke asked with a grin.

"Sour." Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.

"Great now tell me what the key ingredient in Cake is?" Rebuke asked his companions again.

"Milk right?" Ichigo asked uncertainly and Rebuke grinned wider.

"And tell me my friend just what is sour milk?" Rebuke asked once again.

"Bad." Naruto said with complete seriousness as he rubbed his stomach unconsciously.

"Exactly and whose the baddest of the bad?" Rebuke's grin was beginning to scare them and Ichigo could feel Zangetsu's mind being broken by this conversation.

"The Devil." An old religious lady said from the table across from them making Rebuke sweat drop.

"Err thanks ma'am." Rebuke turned back to his sweat dropping teammates. "And WHAT gentlemen is the Devil often paired up with?" Rebuke asked with an even larger grin as Ichigo began to catch on.

"Sin." Ichigo replied with a confident smirk.

"EXACTLY AND WHERE IS THE EASIEST PLACE TO SIN?" Rebuke was standing up at this point, and Naruto looked on in confusion as Ichigo stood up and walked towards the exit alongside Rebuke.

"Hey where are you going? Don't leave me-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled indignantly. Ichigo and Rebuke turned back to him with identical shit-eating grins and spoke in perfect unison.

"**LAS VEGAS BITCHES!" **The yelled in perfect synch and exited the door with Naruto running close behind.

"HEY YOU ASS HOLES FORGOT TO PAY!" A pissed off waiter yelled at their backs. Rebuke turned back to the waiter with a smirk.

"Put it on my tab mister. Dragon and Sword master."

**BGM: END**

**~ 2 days later~**

**BGM: Viva Las Vegas**

"Great so were in Vegas but where do we look?" Ichigo asked curiously as Rebuke parked in front of a building called AJ Lexie's. 

"Before we go anywhere in fucking Vegas, were not going to be looking like cosplayers." Rebuke deadpanned gesturing down to his assassin outfit, Naruto's Hokage robes, and Ichigo's samurai get up. Ichigo scratched his head sheepishly before a thought occurred to him.

"Wait a second what the hell? People can see me?" Ichigo asked in disbelief as Naruto got confused.

"This isn't _your_ earth this earth is the most normal one out of all of them no ninjas, no hollows, no homicidal demons. Just regular people, so your rules don't apply here and everyone can see you." Rebuke then climbed out of the car a gestured for them to follow him. "Don't worry I have connections."

**-AJ Lexies-**

**BGM: END**

**BGM: Flawless-George Michael**

The three heroes were greeted by a blonde haired blue eyed woman at the front desk.

"Rebuke! It's good to see you again how can I help you?" She asked with a smile.

"Well as you see I have a ninja and a soul reaper with me, that doesn't exactly blend in, so we're going to need some suits." He said producing a card and handing to her.

"I'll be right back!" She said cheerfully before swiping the card. She came back with a bundle of clothes as Ichigo's eyes got wide.

"How exactly are we going to afford this?" He asked nervously as Rebuke shook his head.

"Don't worry it's on me besides it's a little late to ask that now that you are wearing the clothes don'tcha think?" Rebuke asked with a raised eyebrow. Confused Ichigo looked down and to his amazement he was already sporting a black suit with the jacket open and his shirt un-tucked he also noticed that the room got darker and felt his face only to find he was wearing sunglasses.

"What the …"

"…Fuck!" Naruto exclaimed as he looked down he was wearing a similar suit as Ichigo only with the jacket closed and the shirt tucked. Instead of wearing sunglasses he felt his head and noticed that his Hokage hat was replaced with a black fedora. They both turned back to Rebuke to see that he had on a black vest over a white dress shirt, black dress slacks, black dress shoes, and the pair of sunglasses from earlier.

"Now you see why I shop here?" Rebuke deadpanned. "Excellent and speedy service."

"But I thought you said this was a normal earth! I barely saw her move!" Naruto asked a little peeved that a ninja of his caliber was just one-upped in the speed department. Rebuke just shrugged as a sign he didn't know how she did it either. Naruto sighed and began to walk back toward the exit before freezing. "…Rebuke…"

"Yes?"

"Why am I wearing silk boxers…?" Ichigo paled a reached down and realized he was in the same boat as Naruto.

"*whistles* Damn girl you got better?" Rebuke asked with a raised eyebrow as he saw the blonde twirling a pair of froggy boxers on her right index finger. She just smirked and handed him the bag with their old clothes.

"Don't be a stranger." She said to Rebuke as he, Ichigo, and Naruto began to exit the building. He gave a short wave in acknowledgement before exiting the building with his companions.

**BGM: END**

**-Outside-**

"So now where?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow as they got in the car.

"Tell me what another name for cat is?" Rebuke asked Naruto blushed and Ichigo grinned.

"I don't understand what THAT has to do with anything." Naruto deadpanned as Ichigo and Rebuke shared a look and spoke in perfect unison.

"**Girls Girls Girls!"**

**-45 minutes later-**

"Ok here's the deal." Rebuke said as he parked the car. "Inside there is going to be a guardian protecting the statue and the only way we can get it is by defeating him, but the problem is due to my lack of Arcana Force there are no cheats, no bonuses, no access to avatars, or health recovery items. It's do or die." Rebuke said seriously as they exited the car. Naruto grimaced.

"Damn if only there was some way to increase our odds." Naruto then stopped and grinned. He discretely made some clones and made them sneak into the club. Naruto caught up in his attempt to show up Rebuke and Ichigo did not notice Ichigo grab the Mp3 player from the glove compartment or Rebuke hang up his phone.

**-In the club-**

The three looked around the club before spotting what they came for the small golden cat statue sitting on the counter of the bar. Deciding to get this over with Naruto raised his hands which signaled the hidden clones to swarm the bartender.

"NARUTOOO UZUMAKIIIIIII" the clones and the original yelled as they jumped at the statue much to Rebuke and Ichigo's disbelief. Rebuke recovered first.

"Shit stick to the plan!" Rebuke ordered as he pulled his trust gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

*CRACK*

"**Yoshitsune…" **The red clad samurai appeared behind Rebuke just as he, Naruto, and Ichigo were warped to what appeared to be a bizarre desert. The sand was pitch black and the sky dark but illuminated by a crimson moon. Rebuke sighed before glaring at Naruto "Damnit man! What the hell?"

"I thought I could grab it and steal it and avoid conflict I AM a ninja afterall-ttebayo." Naruto deadpanned. He quickly tossed a kunai behind him when he heard a noise. Rebuke and Ichigo set up their guard in case things got messy.

***BAM***

They shielded their eyes as a purple flash struck between then causing them to fly back. When they opened their eyes they saw a skeleton dressed in a black garment holding a scythe.

"**So you are the ones who tried to take MY treasure…"** The skeleton asked with a tilt of its head. **"Well good luck for there is no hope to defeat me for I am the only Grim reaper. I. AM. Death." ** Death's voice boomed through the desert. He waited for their reactions of fear, but what he got instead was…

"BULLLSHITTT." Courtesy of Naruto.

"*Snort* Cool story bro." Via one unimpressed Ichigo Kurosaki.

"SWEET GOD TAKE ME AWAY NOW!" from Rebuke.

"**Wha-"** Death was absolutely flabbergasted at the reactions. Naruto stepped forward with a raised eyebrow.

"Mother fucker I've _literally_ had an orgy with the fucking Shinigami-Queen do you HONESTLY thing I'm going to be impressed by your bullshit." Naruto deadpanned making Death step back in shock as he could sense no lies from the blonde. Ichigo was next.

"And I AM a grim reaper as a part time job AND I'm one of the strongest. You think you're good? You think YOU have game? Well game recognizes game and you look unfamiliar as fuck right now."

"Achoo!"

"Bless you Naruto." Ichigo said to his friend before turning back to the scared skeleton.

"For the love of God I've been around for CENTURIES! Take me out now!" Rebuke exclaimed as he fell down in front of the skeleton and bowed his head. "Here's a clean view of my neck do it now!" Rebuke begged making the Skeleton scurry back in fear.

"**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I'm getting the fuck out of here!"** Death was so scared, in fact, he didn't even try to fade away he just ran off but too his dismay our heroes followed him.

"Get back here with our cat you ass hole!" Ichigo roared before he put his mp3 player on speaker and began blasting his favorite song.

**BGM: Bleach OST: Number one**

"**That's right show them the power of a badass!" **Zangetsu commanded as Ichigo suddenly gained a burst of speed and tackled the skeleton to the ground causing the dimension to shatter as they reappeared in the parking lot of the club.

"**You'll never get this cat from me!"** Death roared as he flung Ichigo off of him and continued to make a run for it. Ichigo was about to Getsuga the wannabe reaper to oblivion, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with Rebuke who, with a phone to his ear, shook his head.

"Malix2 do it now." Rebuke said in monotone making Ichigo and Naruto glace at him in confusion then turn back to the running skeleton.

***BOOM!***

_*Thud*_

"Headshot!" Came a voice the echoed through the night sky and Rebuke's phone.

"Good job and keep up the reviews." And with that Rebuke hung up his cell and quickly jogged towards the skeleton and pulled off its mask revealing him to be….

"…_Err isn't this the guy whose car I stole?"_ Rebuke thought with a sweat drop. _"What the hell? Was he following me?"_ Rebuke picked up the cat statue and walked back to his teammates and climbed into the Rebuke-mobile. Naruto was the first to ask the obvious question.

"What now?"

"Simple this will create a portal leading us the last two artifacts: The Rain Bow crystal and the Prisim of Power." Rebuke said, but quickly gained a solemn expression. "But for its power to be used the user will give up his most _precious possession._ Problem now is who uses it? It doesn't matter in the long run for if I get the Arcana Force back I should be able to replace whatever was lost." The silence was deafening before Ichigo gained a determined look.

"Well gentlemen there is only one way to settle this, a free for all battle to the finish, no holding back." Ichigo said as the other two nodded. "Well then shall we begin?" One more concerned glace was shared between the group before they all pulled back their fists.

"ROCK"

"PAPER"

"SCISSORS!"

"SON OF A BITCH!"

**~10 minutes later~**

The group was driving through a purple tunnel after the portal was opened. The silence in the car was incredible until Naruto spoke.

"You know Ichigo I don't believe I have ever been in such _lovely_ company." Naruto mused as Ichigo glanced at him.

"I know right? We are so lucky to have such an _attractive_ chauffeur…" Ichigo trailed off as he saw the barrel of a gun pointing in his face.

*_Click*_

"_Unless you want to help change the color of those white seats to red I'd suggest shutting the fuck up."_ Came the _feminine_ growl from the Game-Mast-er _Mistress_** (AN: SON OF A BITCH! WHY THE FUCK DO I USE PAPER SO MUCH?)**

**~At end of tunnel~**

Our heroes and…._heroine_ exited the car after parking on the grass of the field; there was no civilization for miles it seemed.

**BGM: Persona 4: I'll face my self-battle-**

"**My my what do we have here?"** Came the venomous voice of Shadow-Izanami as she faded into view behind Rebuke and gave her an appreciative glance. "**Appears we are more alike than I figured." **She raised an eyebrow at the growl she received, but continued nonetheless. "**I assume you are going to be after my artifacts hmm?"** Izanami asked with a tilt of her head. **"If you can beat me they are yours."**

"Fine then Ichigo…Naruto... let's get ready…" Rebuke said as she pulled out a second gun.

"Nah… this one's all you sis!" Naruto said giving her the nice guy pose as Ichigo mirrored his actions. Rebuke gaped at them for a second before finally asking.

"…What?"

"Well considering she is YOUR responsibility and a part of YOU and how this whole mess is kind of YOUR fault we figured YOU should be the one to defeat YOUR shadow." Naruto said before unsealing two lawn chairs and some ramen bowls.

"Besides…" Ichigo began as he sat down." This whole trip, excluding the last 30 minutes, was a sausage fest and I can use a good old fashion cat-fight…Good luck!" Ichigo said giving her a thumbs up.

"YOU BASTARDS!"

"You mad?" Ichigo and Naruto asked in perfect unison while wearing identical shit eating grins. Rebuke was tempted to shoot them, but she had to dodge an ebony spear that tore her vest off.

"THAT'S WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT-TEBBAYO!"

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Rebuke yelled in righteous furry before unloading a clip of bullets at her former servant.

"Aww who the hell brings guns to a spear fight?" Ichigigo complained as Naruto slurped his ramen.

"A smart ass mother fucker." Naruto answered seriously.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THE PEANUT GALLERY!" Rebuke ordered before pulling her evoker to her head.

*CRACK*

"**[Elec Boost]"**

*Crack*

"**[Ziodyne]" **Yoshitsune crossed his blades and released a powerful wave of lightning at a bored looking Izanami who yawned.

"**Such a bore let me remind you what a REAL electric attack is**."Izanami smirked as she side stepped the blast of lightining. "**[Mind Charge]" **Izanami felt her attacking power double instantly before she raised her hand at a wide-eyed Rebuke. **[Oho-Ikazuchi]** The wave of lightning was so big that Ichigo, who had not seen that combination before did a spit-take with his ramen. Naruto gave him a mock glare

*BOOM*

"Don't waste the ramen!"

"But did you SEE that? I shouldn't have let you talk me out of helping there's no way Rebuke could survive THAT head on!"

"Doesn't matter Rebuke already won." Naruto said with a sigh as Ichigo gave him an Incredulous look. "You didn't see Rebuke's face that attack was EXACTLY what she wanted."

"Heh you are strong Izanami but you forget without me you ARE NOTHING!" Rebuke roared as Yoshitsune's body was over flowing with power making Izanami's eyes widen. "You are too cocky without me and cannot access your true form without a host." Rebuke declared as Izanami was too shocked to move. "Tch. Yoshitsune stop holding the electricity, you can relax now I said my words to the trash." Rebuke turned around as soon Yoshitsune released the blast.

***BOOM***

**BGM: END**

Rebuke walked up to Naruto, who had blank expression on his face.

"Good you're finished eating, I need you to make some clones to go grab the last two artifacts." Rebuke said as she stretched her arms. Naruto did as he was asked, but as soon as the clones disappeared…

**BGM: Persona 4: I'll face myself(Regular)**

*SMACK*

The force of the blow made Rebuke's head snap to the side.

"DAMMMNNNN" That came from Ichigo

"What the hell was wrong with you? I TOLD you to look after her better and all you did was nearly destroy her!" Naruto yelled at the white haired girl. Whose eyes widened in shock.

"Nearly?" Glancing to the side she could still see Izanami breathing her body began to fade away. "Tch." Rebuke raised her gun and took aim at the back of her servants head.

*Click*

***BAM!***

The bullet embedded itself one inch away from Izanami courtesy of Naruto smacking Rebukes hand at the last second.

"DAMNIT! REBUKE WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY HER!"

"WHY! She tried to kill me TWICE for something that was HER fault and not only that but…"

"BUT WHAT!"

"She's the fucking reason I'm Immortal! If I get rid of her I'll be able to rest in peace!" Rebuke roared as she took aim again.

"DON'T!"

*click*

*click*

*click**Click**Click*

"Damnit!" Rebuke roared as he tossed her gun onto the ground with tears in her eyes.

"Give up and calm down!" Naruto ordered as he put a hand on her shoulder. Rebuke took a deep breath before standing up and began walking toward the fading woman.

"REBU-"

"Stop." Ichigo told Naruto. "Trust her I've seen that look in people's eye before it was one of hatred, but now it's of determination. so just Shut up and watch."

**-With Rebuke and Izanami-**

Rebuke lied down next to the fading woman and gave a humorless laugh before turning to the shocked shadow.

"You know…my gun makes its own bullets…for it to misfire five times means that the gods have cursed you to live huh?"

"**What do you mean I'm fading away here!" **Izanami yelled as Rebuke shook her head with a small smile.

"Tell me do you want to die?"

"**Yes! I hate living as much as you so this is perfect!"** Izanami glared at the woman next to her fiercely.

"Well…I've been thinking…" Rebuke began with a small grin. "Since you did try to kill me TWICE your punishment is…Life." Rebuke smile larger as Izanami's eyes widened. "Well it seems weird that only part of me gets to die while the rest is trapped for eternity in this fucked up place called life." Rebuke answered Izanami's unanswered question. "I am thou and thou art I …or however that saying goes." Rebuke said dismissively.

"**Wha-"**

"Geez how many ways do I have t say it! Even though you are acting slow as hell right now. YOU. ARE. ME." And with that Izanami's body was engulfed in a bright light, and where her body once was laid a card that had a picture of a pale skinned, crimson eyed, and white haired goddess. The card flew in to Rebuke's body and into the sea of her soul. Rebuke lied on the ground for another half an hour with a small smile as Ichigo and Naruto smirked.

**~45 minutes later~**

**ACT3: Finale**

"So now what?" Ichigo asked Rebuke curiously.

"NOW we got to the edge and get my dick back." Rebuke muttered to herself.

"Okay put the cat, prism, and crystal together so we can get there-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically as Ichigo nodded his head in agreement. Rebuke began to put the pieces together, but paled when e realized what the shape had made.

"Dear lord KN-" Rebuke's yell was cut off by the most annoying sound ever.

**BGM:Nyan-Cat**

"_**NOOOOOOOOO!"**_ Rebuke, Naruto, Ichigo, even Akane, Izanami, and Zangetsu yelled in perfect unison. The small Cat began to run in front of them and jump into the sky creating a rainbow bridge to the stars.

**-50 minutes later-**

"SON OF A BITCH!" Ichigo yelled from the passenger seat as they continued to follow the cat through space itself as they followed the cat for almost an hour. Rebuke's hand were snow white from clutching steering wheel hard as she growled through gritted teeth.

"I will destroy that cat!" She growled with an insane expression on her face silently wanting to do nothing but kill the cat and Naruto at the moment.

**-Flash back 48 minutes-**

"Fuck that!" Naruto growled as he covered his ears. HE turned to the Rebuke-Mobile and began to walk towards it with a purpose.

"Where you going?" Rebuke asked as she followed him. Naruto gave a smirk and slapped the back of the car causing a seal to appear on it. He gave her the Uzumaki grin as she gritted her teeth. "Hell no."

"Yup! Have fun driving behind the kitty I'm going to just teleport there when you reach the destination have fun!-ttebayo" Naruto chirped as Ichigo and Rebuke had to stop themselves from destroying the blonde haired asshole in front of them.

**-Present-**

"Look a portal!"Ichigo pointed out toward the rainbow ring that had opened up at the end of the road. Rebuke smirked before flooring the car so that they wouldn't have to deal with anymore of that horrible music.

***BAM!***

**BGM: END**

**-BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY!-**

Rebuke and Ichigo drove out of the portal and landed on a cliff in front of 900 GMG's. Looking around they could see that they landed on top of some purple canyon.

"…..oh this isn't good." Ichigo muttered as Naruto flashed toward their location.

"Maybe not, but this going to be easy as fuck." Naruto said simply as Rebuke nodded her head in agreement.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? Do you know how long it took me to beat 300 of these freaks?" Ichigo roared as Naruto and Rebuke shared a wide-eyed look.

*snort*

"*cough* noob*cough*"

Ichigo glared at his two companions fiercely as they tried to suppress their laughter. Rebuke turned to Naruto after getting her laughter out.

"Naruto I know this may be hard for you to understand, but even though Ichigo is just as strong as us…"She trailed off before her laughter came back again. Shaking her head she continued. "…He only has ONE move." She said in complete seriousness as Naruto gaped at her.

"…That's so STUPID! I mean who tries to get by using only ONE mov-"He stopped when Rebuke and Ichigo both gave him pointed looks. "**Rasengan** and **Kage Bunshin** are TWO moves thank you very much!" Rebuke just shook her head before looking at the GMG's

"Okay this is what's going to happen we are going to split them up evenly. We each get 300 now I'm going to need you to buy me some time so I can wipe them out-"

"ICHIGOOOOOOO KUROSAKIIIIIIIIIIII" Ichigo roared as he charged at the giant hollows. Naruto gaped before finally spluttering.

'"…Oh my God…He just ran in…" Naruto said in a horrified whisper making Rebuke grab her hair.

"I HATE YOU BOTH!" Rebuke growled before shaking her head." Just leave him we'll get him eventually let's just take out our 600." Naruto nodded a disappeared in a swirl of leaves Rebuke turned to her group and raised her gun.

**-With Ichigo-**

**BGM: Bleach OST: Chokkaku**

Ichigo rammed his blade through the mask of the first GMG.

"**Ban…KAI!"** The beam that erupted from his blade continued forward and destroyed 10 hollows behind the first one.

"290 to go…" Ichigo muttered be for teleporting in the middle of the group via Shunpo. **"Getsuga…TENSHOU!" **The ebony wave quickly decimated whoever was foolish enough to run at him first.

**-With Naruto-**

**BGM-intterupted!-**

**BGM:Naruto: Ost Lightning speed!**

"**Tajuu!:Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" **Thousands of Naruto's quickly filled the area with Three Pronged Kunai in their hands. **"Kunai: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"** the battle field and the hollows were quickly field with Kunai as Naruto smirked and disappeared in a yellow flash. Naruto quickly reappeared with a smirk. "Like a Boss." Naruto said as he began walking toward Rebuke as all his enemies fell apart in thousands of pieces.

**-With Rebuke-**

**BGM: Interrupted!**

**BGM: Persona 3: Mass Destruction**

Rebuke looked at her enemies with a bored stare before pulling the trigger of his gun.

*Crack*

"**Yoshitsune" ** As the Red-clad samurai appeared Rebuke sides stepped a blow from one of the berserk Hollows.

*Crack*

**[Heat Riser]** Rebuke smirked as she began to feel her power increase as he dodged more of the blows.

*CRACK*

**[Power Charge]**

"_Great now that my attack power has increased by 140% I'll destroy these noobs once and for all."_ Rebuke thought with an evil smirk as she shot herself one last time

*Crack*

**[Hassou Tobi]** The world area seemed to turn black and white with only the color of Yoshitsune's crimson armor showing through. The Samurai stepped forward with his swords drawn and sheathed them with a resounding *Click*. One by one, eight giant crimson slash appeared on the ground as all of the enemies gained eight severe gashes on their bodies. The hollows couldn't even screetch before they fell apart into eight huge chunks and disappeared in the air.

**BGM:END**

"Hmm not bad I might wanna have a rematch-ttebayo!" Rebuke glanced at his blonde friend for a second and they both soon erupted in a fit of laughter.

**-A few minutes later-**

"I'm done…and so are you…" Ichigo said with a sweat drop as he walked toward his companions who were playing poker Rebuke just shook her head as she stood up.

"Noob." Naruto muttered causing Ichigo to glare at him. They all turned to a cave and began walking toward it.

"The Arcana Force should be at the end of this cave. Now we can get your friends and my gender back." Rebuke stated happily as they walked toward to cave.

**-At the end of the Cave-**

As they exited the cave they quickly realized that they were in a room of white. It was filled with nice white furniture and even had a big screen TV. Naruto and Ichigo looked around in awe before quickly spotting a pitch black orb that had a floating white "0" in the center. Naruto turned toward Rebuke.

"Hey is that the Ar-"He stopped when he saw the look of pure disbelief on his once male friend's face.

*SMACK*

"I don't believe it…" Rebuke growled from beneath her hand, she wasted no time in summoning her white haired servant.

*Crack*

"**Izanami…"** Rebuke growled her name, but not because she summoned her.

Oh no.

She was **PISSED **and Izanami knew it.

"_**Yes...Mas-er-Mistress?"**_ She asked nervously as Rebuke glared at her. HARD

"Tell me what do you see?" She asked calmly.

"_**The Arcana Force"**_

"And where is it?"

"_**In a couch"**_

"And where are WE." Rebuke growled as Naruto started to get an idea of what was going on.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me-ttebayo!"

"_**Our living room."**_ Izanami spoke, now hiding behind Ichigo who was doing a great combination of gaping and glaring.

*RING*

"WHAT!" Rebuke yelled as she answered her phone.

"_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH-"_ Rebuke could hear Rose and Igor laughing there asses off and hung up the phone.

*Snap*

Before Rebuke could get in a fight with her servant AGAIN, she heard an evil chuckle and came face to face with a petite red haired girl, with bright blue eyes who now had the orb in her hand. She also wore a black Kimono with a flame pattern on the edges.

"_**Alice…"**_Rebuke roared as the girl gave him a large grin.

"Well hello Rebuke-**CHAN"**

-cue eye twitch-

"Thank you so much for keeping this safe for me all of these years." She said sincerely although everyone one could see the evil intent in her eyes. "Now I can use this to fuse myself with the shadow of the Universe's greatest Warrior and Rule EVERYTHING!*giggle*" Naruto gained a determined look as Rebuke and Ichigo paled.

"Like you are going to get my shadow-ttebayo." Naruto yelled as he got into a fighting stance making the girl snort at him.

"Please you weakling like I would dirty my perfect form with YOUR shadow. " The orb in her hand glowed bright purple before a resounding crack filled the room as a portal appeared in the center of the room. Slowly but surely a tall figure began to step out of the portal "I'm going to use…"

"…Goku…" Ichigo murmured with wide eyes as Rebuke took a step back in horror. Naruto gained a confused look.

"…Who?"

"You know how I told you that your reality may be another one's fiction?" Naruto nodded his head as Rebuke continued. "Well from the book you and Ichigo are from…He would be your king." Naruto snapped his head toward her in disbelief. "In fact HE'S the reason you wear orange." That caused Naruto to step back as well. They watched as Alice faded into the blue Goku with yellow eyes.

"Crap come on guys we have to pull together we can't lose now!" Ichigo yelled making Rebuke stop shaking and make Naruto get into a fighting stance.

"Ok here's the pla-"Rebuke sadly never got to finish her orders as Goku teleported right in front of her.

*BAM*

*Crash*

Rebuke was launched from the living room and crashed into the stove in her kitchen courtesy of Goku's right hand. She slumped to the ground in a bloody heap. Ichigo and Naruto looked in shock as the evil Saiyan turned back toward them.

**BGM: Bleach OST Stand up be strong pt 1**

"_Fuck I'm going to have to use it!"_ Ichigo thought as he activated his Final Getsuga Tenshou. He was then engulfed in black energy. Naruto, having similar thoughts as Ichigo, activated his **Sage Mode **and** Nine-tails Chakra Mode.**

***BOOM***

The amount of power being emitted destroyed a majority of the house sending everyone outside to the canyon.

"**Go ahead do your worst."** Shadow Goku said with a smirk as Ichigo, in final Getsuga form, and Naruto landed in front of him.

"**Naruto…even though he's stronger he'll still be unable to survive if we hit him with our hardest attacks."** Ichigo whispered to Naruto. **"Quick prepare a Biju-what!"**

**BGM:Interrupted!**

**BGM: Super Saiyan 3 transformation.**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

"Why can't we MOVE!"Naruto panicked as Goku began to cause shock waves.

"**"**

"**I don't Know! Fuck is **_**this why enemies let the heroes charge their attacks in DBZ?"**_ Ichigo thought to himself incredulously.

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

"How long is he going to be doing this!"

**-5 minutes later-**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

***BOOM***

When the smoke cleared the heroes came face to face with Goku in his Super Saiyan 3 transformation. Although his Hair was Bright purple and his eyes were red.

**-With Rebuke-**

"_Shit how long was I out?"_ Rebuke glanced toward her destroyed guns. _"SHIT! Oh well gotta summon her the boring way."_ Rebuke held out her right hand as a card appeared in it. As soon as it did she crushed it within her palm summoning her faithful summon next to her. "Izanami help me up we have to get to my weapons room I know how to take him out, but we have to hurry before he decides to planet bust!"

**-With Naruto-**

"PLANET BUST! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HE CAN DO THAT! THAT'S BULL SHIT!" Naruto yelled after Ichigo told him what he feared Goku would do with that amount of energy. Ichigo just nodded his head grimly.

"**And with this output he might take out the moon and Venus as well."** Ichigo said seriously making Naruto pale more before finally saying something he thought he would NEVER say.

"I quit." Naruto said seriously as he depowered

"**What?"** Ichigo said in shock.

"You don't HONESTLY think you have a chance do you? Mr. one move." Naruto deadpanned.

"**YOU…have a **point. " Ichigo said depowering as well with a sweat drop.

"Sides it won't be too bad, dying that is." Naruto continued at Ichigo's confused look. "Hmm? Oh I was serious, I'm fucking death." Ichigo gaped at him.

"*Sigh* Whatever. It would take a miracle…any..way…" Ichigo slowed down as Naruto smirked.

"All according to plan-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled making everyone look at him. Even Goku.

"**What are you weaklings talking about?"** Goku-Alice snapped making Naruto grin largely at her.

"Well by pretending that I, Naruto-never-say- quit- Uzumaki, had finally given up it caused Ichigo to give up aswell."

"**Okay so…?"**

"When someone who is truly without hope is fighting an unbeatable enemy, and say "It will take a miracle" that miracle tends to happen." Naruto said seriously as Ichigo smirked. Goku just rolled his eyes and prepared a **Kamehameha.**

"Hey you eye browless-freak! Turn Around!" Shocked Shadow-Goku turned just in time to see Rebuke standing there with a bow and arrow. Growling Goku released the beam just as Rebuke released the arrow.

*Shtck!*

***Boom!* **And the word went white.

**BGM: End**

**~Days later~ **

**BGM: Persona 3: Memories of You**

The now Male Rebuke stood in front of Ichigo and Naruto with a sad smile.

"Well it was fun, but now that I've fixed your planets it's time for you to go."

*snap!*

As Naruto and Ichigo began to fade away Naruto yelled one thing to his new friend.

"Hey Ichigo! Don't worry about having to girls that like you, if you're like me it'll work out in the end. Just go with the flow!" Ichigo just nodded with a smile and disappeared. Rebuke sighed when his friends left and turned toward Izanami.

"Izanami…"

"_**Yes?"**_ She asked nervously.

"Let's get back to work." And with that Rebuke walked back to his house leaving a stunned Izanami behind him.

"_**Yes Master!"**_

**-With Naruto-**

"How did the meeting go?" Naruko asked curiously as Naruto reentered his house. Naruto pulled her into a hug and twirled her around.

"Do I have a story to tell you-ttebayo!"

**-With Ichigo-**

Ichigo shook as he realized Yoruichi was standing in front of him trying to get his attention.

"Hurry up Ichigo we have to get to Kukkaku's house by night time!" Yoruichi said with an eye-twitch as Ichigo smiled.

**-With the Shinigami-**

"You know I used to be an omnipotent goddess just like you." The ethereal figure of Alice said with a sigh making the the Shinigami raise an eyebrow.

"_**What happened?"**_

"I took an arrow to the knee…"

**FIN**

**ANNNNNNNNNNND CUT! How was that? Did that make up for the lack of updates?**

**Outtakes**

**~Outtake one~**

"Hey do you still hurt from when I pulled the horns out?" Naruto asked Ichigo gently. Ichigo shook his head with a small smile.

"Not with you here it doesn't…"

**BGM: Careless whisper(instrumental)~ George Michael: Sax version**

"Ichigo…"

"…Naruto…

"No homo right?" Rebuke asked them with a raised eyebrow as Naruto turned to him with flames in his eyes.

"ALL OF THE HOMO!"

**CUT!**

**~Outtake 2~**

Looking back at rebuke they could see that he was dressed in…

…nothing but his boxers what the fuck?

"DAMNIT!"

"Sorry I sneezed." The blonde said while blowing her nose.

**CUT!**

**~Outtake 3~**

"Do it now." Rebuke said to the phone before feeling great pain then nothing.

"BOOM HEADSHOT!...Rebuke…Rebuke…oh sh-

**CUT!**

**Credit to CardGamesFTW for the no homo scene.**

**For all of you who don't get why goku got beat by an arrow why don't you read some comments for about 10 minutes on ANY skyrim video on youtube before you flame.**

**READ AND REVIEW**

**AND I'll Get back to Bakudo X later**

**Your favorite, and happily male, crack author**

**~RebukeX7**


	29. Special AN: Words i never wrote

**Disclaimer don't own Naruto, Bleach, or Pokémon**

**Special: Words I never wrote part 1**

**Dedicated to anyone who has lost their fics**

**~White Room~**

**BGM: ****The Avengers Theme - The Avengers (The Score) [Alan Silvestri]**

**-Slam-**

Six figures looked up as Rebuke strode into the room with a scowl planted firmly on his face. Leaning on a wall, Rebuke glanced at the room's occupants he sighed before speaking in a grave tone.

"Do you know why I have called you here?"

"Cause you were bored-ttebayo." A blonde haired man said while leaning on his chair. Rebuke shook his head as an orange-haired swordsman face-palmed.

"Are you fucking serious?" Ichigo groaned making Naruto narrow his eyes at him.

"Yo, what's your deal?"

"My deal is that it's obviously something important, or can you not read the atmosphere?" Ichigo stated simply.

"Enough. The reason I have called you here is that we are facing a threat that may rival that of **Judgment Day."** Rebuke said grimly making everyone turn their attention to him.

"…?"

"Good question Red." Rebuke complimented as everyone else tried to figure out how they had understood the silent ten year old. "This concerns you because this threat is destroying the alternate realities of your home world."

"…"

"We are going to try, which is why I have called you here. The seven of us are going to temporarily reform an old group of mine known as **X7.**" This made Naruto narrow his eyes at the white-haired male.

"It seems a little desperate seeing as the only living members of the original group are you, me, and Ichigo."

"This threat has made me very desperate, but first I think we should do a head count to see who were working with." Rebuke told the room before pointing at the boy.

"First we have Pokémon Master Red, he controls countless of powerful beasts to do his bidding." Rebuke introduced.

"…"

"Okay how can we understand him when he says nothing, and also how powerful are we talking. Seriously this kid has got to be like ten years old." Ichigo asked incredulously as Naruto nodded his agreement.

"This _kid_ is as old as you; he agreed to let me make him younger so he could save his world." Rebuke stated making Ichigo grin sheepishly. "Many of his creatures control the elements, but some control reality itself." Everyone looked at the kid with a little more respect, as Rebuke continued.

"Next we have a triple S-class threat, with a pray on sight order. He is the leader of a Ninja village. He is Konoha's Orange Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze." Naruto grinned at his introduction. "Ha beat that carrot top." Ichigo just shook his head amused.

"Now we have Ichigo Kurosaki, I'll keep it simple he became one of the most power gods of death at the tender age of sixteen…and he's not even fucking dead yet." Ichigo smirked at Naruto who yawned.

"Not bad, I'll give you that-ttebayo."

"Now we have the first of my own personal protégé's Maaka Oro, He is a Master Soldier who's combat experience and reaction time even gives me a run for my money when we spar."

"Howdy." A man with a cowboy hat said.

"We should spar sometime." Naruto said raising an eyebrow at the supposedly pinnacle of soldiers.

He got a shark toothed grin in response.

"My second Protégé, Lexie" Rebuke pointed to a blue-eyed, blond haired girl, who had crimson pixie wings. "She's a blood pixie, controls fire and blood, DON'T. PISS. HER. OFF." Rebuke yelled with a shiver. "She can honestly melt you from the inside out."

"And finally there is me. The master of games, and a current owner of the Fool arcana."

"Umm what about her." Ichigo asked as he pointed a blind-folded woman with ebony wings and waist length black hair. He raised an eyebrow as Rebuke, Maaka, and Lexie groaned at the mention of the black toga wearing woman.

"How do I put this she's a temporary ally who has some questionable motives in life."

"**Put it simple. I'm going to kill everyone in this room, and for two of you it will be a second time."** The woman said as she finished her sentence by looking at Ichigo and Naruto. Naruto, who unlike Ichigo, regained his past memories and glared at Rebuke.

"What the hell man she put a spear through my chest and made my sister explode. Or did you forget that shit?"

"I'm _**very**_ desperate."

"How can we even trust her."

"**Lying is beneath me, and I don't want to be erased just yet so I'll allow myself to help you out." **Naruto glared but sat down.

"Anyway there are six enemies we need to kill before we can find out who is responsible. I'll send you to your respective worlds and you will take them out, understood? Failure is not an option." The other six looked at him as he finished his speech.

"…" Red turned away.

"You can count on me-ttebayo" Naruto yelled enthusiastically.

"I'll do it to protect my friends." Ichigo said determined.

"Nothin' better to do." Maaka said with a shrug.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Lexie sighed

"**Sooner, I kill the enemy, the sooner I kill you."**

"We will meet back here in an hour, hurry!" They nodded before they faded away into thin air. Rebuke sighed before turning to a screen. "It comes down to this huh?"

"_Fourth Wall: Break in case of emergencies"_

_*CRASH*_

Rebuke took a deep breath before beginning.

"Listen you cock-sucking mother fuckers, it was one thing when you deleted stories that actually had too much adult content, and even then someone would have to go out of their way to read them because M-rated stories are not only marked as mature, but fucking filtered automatically when you first look at a category, but now it's going a little too far." Rebuke shook his head as he sat down.

"You know how many p.m.'s I have received because people were scared of my stories getting taken down**? One-hundred and fucking fifty seven**, and they have a good reason too after all if fucking _**Naruto reads Naruto**_ was taken down what hope does this fic have exactly? I'll tell you NONE.

"Hell after this I'm pretty sure some ass is going to delete this because I'm calling you out but guess what!" Rebuke raises empty hand in front of him "You know what this is? This is the amount of fucks I give."

"If this gets deleted 'I'll just post on another site simple, I'm not a noob I have all my chapters on my computers so go ahead. Limit my free speech if you are feeling unconstitutional. It'' only serve to help me because my readers will see how messed up you are." Rebuke gave one last sad smile to his fans.

"Not sure if this will be the last time I see you guys on this site, guess I'll find out by the end of this week if my stories and/or account are still up. What can I say? It has been fun" Rebuke gave one more smile as a tear slipped from his eye. "IF my stories have taught you anything hopefully, it was to enjoy life to the fullest. Life is the world's toughest game, do me a favor and beat it."

"Rebuke Out"

**I'll continue this filler arc in the AN's of my future chapters. The fights will be in the author note of the respective stories. So for future reference. Here are the fights and where to find them when I upload them. Remember the fights are all filler so it really doesn't even matter so don't get butt hurt over them.**

**Naruto VS Real Madara- Naruto's life is a game**

**Ichigo VS Ulquiorra - Bakudo X: Life is a game**

**Red VS Giovanni- Red's life is a game**

**Lexie VS Maaka-Life is not a game**

**Goddess (Final villain of my series) VS Izanagi- Life is not a game**

**Rebuke VS ?-Posted in AN of all stories**

**Email me at RebukeX7 if you find another site to post on.**

**If you haven't realized by yet that this was an author note in disguise well now you know, I can't see why author notes can't be entertaining!**

**~RebukeX7**


	30. Mass Effect:LIAG

**ATTENTION THE GREATEST THING EVER HAS HAPPENED! A New Life is a Game series is happening right now! Its occurring and the Mass Effect Universe and is being co-written by 117Jorn, actually it is mainly written by him, SO you can find it on his page.**

**HE HAS MY FULL PERMISSION SO DON'T FLAME HIM FOR STEALING ANYTHING.**

**Sorry for another fake update but You have to understand I did not plan this.**

**And sorry for the lack of updates but I have to move a lot of chapters to a new site (Yourfanfiction)**

**Ill upload a new chapter of Red's life is a game as soon as possible and then Bakudo X**

**DO NOT REVIEW THIS ILL REPLACE THIS NOTICE WITH A CHAPTER LATER.**

**Final note. I have completer faite in 117Jorn's ability to write in other universes to my series, if you want proof read the first chapter of "Mass Effect: Life is a Game" It is and I quote myself "Fucking. Hilarious."**

**Almost forgot as a bonus this Author is used to writing incredibly long chapters so you may even get longer updates then I would ever make.**

**(Hey just noticed it's been a week and my account/stories are still up…hell yes.)**

**~RebukeX7**


	31. Preview: Liag movie 2

**ANOUNCEMENT: Get ready to see your favorite heroes return in the NEXT LIAG MOVIE!**

**Years after the Journey for the Arcana Force The X7 army has grown as more and more heroes joined their ranks, but soon a new threat comes to the multiverse can our heroes stop it!?**

**Who will defend multiverse?**

_**NARUTO!**_

"_Ninja..."__ The blonde said coldly from behind Rebuke.  
><em>

"_KYAAAA!" Rebuke shouted as he leapt away from the ninja, who was laughing his ass off.  
><em>

"_Oh kami, you screamed like a bitch! HAHAHA! I'm dying!" Rebuke glared at him before dialing another number._

_**ICHIGO!**_

"_I am sick and tired of all these mother fucking people joking about my single mother fucking attack!" Ichigo roared as he flung Zangetsu._

_**RED!**_

"…"

_**JOHN AND JANE SHEPARD!**_

_**Paragon Action**_

"_Alright here's the plan." John began as he looked at the assembled heroes. "First we'll-"_

_**! RENEGADE ACTION!**_

"_Alright fuck the bullshit, let's do this!" Jane shouted as she charged forward leaving a group of gaping heroes behind._

_**LIGHTNING!**_

_The men looked at each other for a bit longer, when suddenly a large crystal rose pattern filled the room.  
><em>

"_KYAAA!"__ The room shouted in fear as lightning appeared on Odin.  
><em>

"_Wow, a room full of pansies...why am I not surprised." Lightning drawled as she slid from the top of the horse, and de-summoned it._

_**REBUKE!**_

"_I swear I better get laid for this!"_ _Rebuke shouted as he ran at the goddess._

_**REBUFF!**_

_Waking up tiredly, a confused as hell Rebuff gaped as she turned to see a snoring Rebuke next to her, both stark naked._

"_You son of a bitch." The woman muttered as Rebuke woke up suddenly and stared at the glaring woman, positive that he was about to die._

"_Doesn't matter, had sex." Rebuke stated simply before going back to sleep._

_**JORN!**_

"_You know speaking of missing ANBU there is a group of rampant ninjas that watch people masturbate running around." Jorn said seriously. "I seem to be their main target I killed three more yesterday."_

"_So that's where root went!" Naruto said as light bulb seemed to turn on his head. "By all means, keep killing them."_

_**ROSE? Wait what the hell?**_

"_Hold up let me get this straight…you WEREN'T the original leader of X7?" Jorn questioned with wide eyes as he looked at a wide eyed Rebuke, who was still gaping at the long black haired woman who had blazing red eyes._

"_Rebuke, love,…why is this brat wearing my jacket and using my gun?" Rose questioned as she pointed at Jorn._

**Shit is about to hit the fan in LIAG MOVIE 2: Legacy of Rhen! Coming soon to a RebukeX7 or 117Jorn profile page near you! **

**-lack of Spider-Man or Natsu will be explained in the movie-**

**Not yet rated.**


End file.
